Archive | July, 2012

Men, women and dishes

5 Jul

{While I’m getting rained on in Ketchikan, Alaska, please enjoy these posts from the archives and random thoughts library of Life, Really.}

–Originally posted May 8, 2008–

This could go for just about any aspect of cleaning but this morning it happened to be involving dishes.

I typically get up about 30-45 minutes earlier than Travis. It takes me about 15-20 minutes to shower, do my hair and makeup, and get dressed (+10 minutes if I have nothing to wear). I then make lunches for me and Travis, eat breakfast, and possibly iron his shirt, make the bed, do the dishes, and maybe read the Bible.

Travis stumbles out of bed half-awake around 6:30. He takes a shower for 10 minutes, then shaves, then gets dressed. He eats breakfast and reads his Bible for about 10-15 minutes. Then he grabs his lunch, puts it in his backpack, brushes his teeth, and is ready to leave.

So this morning, as usual, I was running around after eating breakfast, trying to get my running stuff together, brushing my teeth, making the bed, etc. The sink was piled high full of dishes. I was going to ask Travis to do the dishes but he was reading his Bible. Dishes aren’t more important than God…(although, if he shouldn’t be bothered to do the dishes instead of reading the Bible, then why should I be?) so I let him be.

I was a little bitter that Travis was reading while the dishes obviously had to be done (you literally couldn’t fit much else in the sink). But I realize he’s male and I’m female. What I notice, he doesn’t notice. What I think about, he doesn’t think about.

Proof of this: When I saw the pile of dirty dishes in the sink after breakfast, I made a mental note, “Must do dishes before going to work.”

When Travis saw the pile of dirty dishes in the sink after breakfast, he wondered, “Where I can find a spot for my plate?”

I just have to laugh at him. Men.

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2012 Goal Update

3 Jul

{While I’m off in Alaska reeling in some red salmon (ha, just kidding, I don’t fish!), please enjoy these random posts from the archives and random thoughts library of Life, Really.}

It’s July! My favorite month because it’s when I was born. This year, I’ll be the big 2-9. Seriously, I can’t believe I’m almost 30.

Anyway, I thought that since 2012 is half over, it’d be a good time to give an update on my goals.

Which shouldn’t take long since I haven’t made a ton of progress (but somehow this post ended up being almost 700 words…). I haven’t made a ton of progress in the past few months because marathon training kind of took over my life at the end there. Now that that’s over with (yay!), I can get back to working on these goals.

…get pregnant.

The marathon is over and the plan is in motion. Stay tuned.

…run 700 miles.

If all goes according to plan, by the time I’m doing running the marathon, I’ll be somewhere around 488 miles. Looking good for this one (as long as I don’t abandon running altogether).

…finish writing my nonfiction book.

This is the one I’ve been failing at the most. Since the mornings are the only time I have to write, and they’ve been hijacked for the last several months by sleep and running, this has gotten put on the back burner out of necessity. But once I get back from Alaska, it’s back into the morning routine! I still think finishing it this year is doable. And during this time off I’ve had, I’ve still been thinking and journaling a lot and have a deeper understanding of what I want this book to be.

…read 27 books (one more than in 2011).

Before Alaska, I had read 9 books. Hopefully after Alaska, that number will be more like 15! And now that I won’t be spending every spare waking moment running, I hope this number will increase a lot faster. I mean, 9 books in 6 months? Who am I?

…consistently track my workouts so I have accurate totals on 12/31/12!

I have been doing this! And mapmyrun.com just updated their site with some cool-looking stuff so I might not be switching from them after all…

…grow in being a loving, supportive wife to my amazing husband.

Still a work in progress on this one. I am learning to more often speak my husband’s love languages – physical touch and words of affirmation. 

…………………

And for the monthly goals…

The months that have passed

January – Forego sweets for an entire month. Done!

February – Read or listen to the entire Harry Potter book series.

I am currently on Book 5 of 7. Getting there!

March – Try Bikram Yoga. Done!

April – Finish a memory book about our first 5 years of marriage.

Haven’t started on this hardly at all. But I’m still planning to do it. Now I’ll have a bunch of Alaska memories to add too!

May – Make a time capsule for our 5-year wedding anniversary.

I have a good start on this but haven’t finished yet.

June – Run a marathon… in Alaska. Done!

I’m writing this before the race but I’m being optimistic that I crossed the finish line.

………………….

The months coming up

July – Bike 50 miles in one ride.

I can tell you right now that this 50 mile ride isn’t happening in July. Maybe September or October but not July.

August – Climb a 14er.

We’re talking about climbing Pikes Peak with some friends.

September – Complete at least one big home project in preparation for moving in 2013.

We’re thinking about several of these, including refinishing our bathrooms, painting doors and cabinets, cleaning carpets and replacing our patio. 

October – Make Pull-Apart Cinnamon Sugar Pumpkin Bread with Buttered Rum Glaze

Mmmm… how could I skip this one?

November – Make our own Christmas stockings.

Say what? Who thought this was a good idea? Oh yeah, me who got sick of looking at $3 red fake fuzz stockings from Walmart. Luckily, I think this will be a pretty easy craft.

December – Watch the movie classic, It’s a Wonderful Life

Why didn’t I make all of my goals this easy?

………………….

And there you have it! Hopefully I’ll have a more encouraging update in September… or sooner!

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Resting in God for Life

1 Jul

{While I’m reading copious amounts of books in Alaska, please enjoy these posts from the archives and random thoughts library of Life, Really.}

–Originally posted January 15, 2011–

God is so faithful.

I had a rough start to this past week. Being back from Mexico, I was confronted with all of the problems I had left behind: namely, my struggle with what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. Again, I was stressed out. It felt like there was a heavy ball of anxiety sitting right on my chest. I felt paralyzed. I had nothing that I had to do and yet didn’t feel free to do anything. I felt like I had to be productive. Like that’s what a good model citizen does – they get stuff done. But I didn’t want to get stuff done. I wanted to relax and read.

Little by little, God has been inviting me to release the responsibility I feel for my life. At first, He showed me I could let go of being responsible for my sanctification. Instead of rifling through my own soul looking for sins that I needed to work on, I could trust God to convict me of the sins that He wanted me to work on.

He then showed me I could let go of being responsible for projects at work. Even though I don’t technically have a job right now, I am helping out at the church and as such, I feel involved enough to be held responsible for things succeeding or failing. But God says that I can release those projects to Him too. It’s not me accomplishing His work – it’s Him accomplishing His work through me. I wrote these points in my journal:

1. God knows what needs to be done and when.

2. I can trust God to guide my day and to provide the wisdom, inspiration, and motivation necessary. I can even trust Him to bring to mind things I need to remember.

3. I can leave unfinished projects in God’s care – this is His work after all. He will take care of it.

4. If and when I fail, I can run to God and He will help me fix the mess. He is a gracious, patient and loving God.

Finally, God showed me that I can let go of what I have perceived to be the things I needed to be doing to live the life I want to live. I had been creating my own religious rules about how to live but God had not empowered me to live those. I constantly felt like I should be doing more than I was doing. If I bought a coffee at Starbuck’s, I felt guilty that I didn’t donate that money to charity. If I spent time reading a book, I felt guilty that I was making myself happy instead of helping someone else in need. I was constantly questioning my motives and constantly feeling condemned by what I perceived to be the selfishness of everything I did. Even the good, thoughtful things I did for others were swallowed up in the notion that they were just drops in the ocean of my own patheticness.

But praise the Lord, He has revealed the truth to me! On Thursday morning, after feeling very discouraged and fed up with life on Wednesday night, God showed me that what had started out as a good desire – wanting to live above the status quo for Christ – I had turned into an end in itself. I was trying to make myself right with God by setting a high standard for my way of life. I only succeeded in making myself miserable. Because I can’t make myself right with God!

And I don’t have to. I don’t have to procure my own salvation because of Jesus and I don’t have to make my life count because of Jesus. For the longest time, I thought that surrendering control meant conceding defeat. Resting in Christ meant that I didn’t care if my life changed – it meant I was ok if I just kept on living the typical American lifestyle. But I did care! So I couldn’t, I wouldn’t surrender. I had to make my life what I thought it should be – because if I didn’t, who would?

I am in awe at God’s perfect timing. Just totally in awe. In the past month, I read 2 books that revolutionized the way I look at my relationship with God: Walking With God by John Eldredge and Soul Craving by Joel Warne. Both authors talk about listening to God, walking through situations with God, talking to God, communing with God. I had never before realized that such an intimate two-way interaction with God was possible!

Because of that new discovery, the idea of surrendering control of my life and my expectations and desires to God makes sense. Before, I didn’t understand how I could let go of control and expect things to still happen. I mean, after all, even though God is sovereign, He is not a puppeteer. I still have to act. So how would anything change if I gave up trying to change things?

I see now that change comes out of an intimate relationship with God. As I am walking with God, talking with Him, listening to Him, inviting Him in to every area and experience of my life, I am changed. I sense His Spirit’s leading. I see doors open that I would have missed before. I find courage to do what I couldn’t in the past. This is exactly what I wanted for my life and was so desperately striving after. But now, it is God leading me. It is God doing the hard work. Joel Warne writes in his book that our relationship with God is a responsive one. He leads; we respond.

Moreover, if there is something amiss in my life, something I should abstain from or do differently, I can trust God to reveal those things to me. I don’t have to obsess over everything and continually feel guilty. This has been the biggest relief of all. I can finally put in correct perspective all of the mundane, practical, trivial details of life. I don’t have to question everything anymore! I can live everyday life in faith that when God wants to change something, when He wants to move me, He will reveal that to me. And He provides the courage and grace for obedience on top! So now, instead of asking God to show me what He wants me to do with my life, I pray:

“Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there by any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!”(Psalm 139:23).

I cannot undermine enough what a revolutionary shift in paradigm this is for me. I feel like I had been going through the motions of life in black and white but now I am rejuvenated with vigor and eagerness to engage in life in Technicolor! Because my life is what it is because of God. And I can rest in Him for wisdom, guidance, sanctification. I can trust Him to do in my life what I have been desiring – because He desires it even more than I do!!

GOD IS AWESOME!!

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