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A Bittersweet Farewell

11 Mar

We got word a few days ago from our Realtor that our house appraised! So now we are in the final stage of closing.

Which means we’ve started packing. The easiest thing to pack right now are all of the house decorations so yesterday, I took everything off the walls and boxed them up.

Looking around Emma’s nursery at blank walls and bare shelves, I felt sad. I love her nursery. And even though we’re taking all of the decorations with us, and can paint her new room the same yellow if we want, it won’t be the same.

Last night, as I lay awake for a bit in bed after getting Emma down… again, the full weight of reality hit me: We’re leaving. We’re going to drive away from this house and never come back. It will never be our home again. We will never belong to our church again. We won’t shop at this Target. We won’t check out books from this library. We won’t see mountains on the horizon.

Sure, we’ll come back to visit. But it will never be like this again.

We knew that leaving our life out here would be hard. But I think I underestimated it. We’ve been having dinner with the families in our care group one by one. It has been so good to connect with them and I’m sure we’re all wondering why we didn’t do this more often before we were leaving the state. Our going away party is this coming Saturday and even though part of me thinks it’s weird to entertain when your house is bare bones and near-empty, it also feels very fitting.

I am grateful for the sadness though. It means we’ve connected and let our hearts be engaged here. We didn’t stay on the sidelines or watch from afar. We take with us memories that will last for a lifetime, some of which I plan to share on the blog in the next week or so.

Though this transition is laden with sadness, we are also very excited for the next chapter. I know that for things to change, they can’t stay the same. Even if we were staying, things would change. So we have to press on in faith. That’s the great thing about having an omnipresent Savior. Wherever we go, He goes with us. He’s been faithful to us in Colorado. He’ll be faithful in Minnesota.
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71dea5b44f335fc9c5ca4323eacc0f2c“Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!” (Psalm 126:5)

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Emma Grace: 11 Months

7 Mar

It seems unreal to me that Emma is turning 1 year old in a month! That means we’ve survived almost an entire year of parenthood. 😉

No, but Emma is truly a delight. I think this is the most fun age yet. So what is Little Baby Emma up to?

IMG_5429Size

Emma is still wearing her 12-month size clothes. She has a few freakishly large outfits that are 6-9 months and still fit. She is now wearing Size 4 diapers. And I think we’re going to have to buy her bigger socks. She won’t have another pediatrician appointment until 12 months. I tried to schedule it before we move on March 22 but they wouldn’t let me. So that means I’m going to have to find a pediatrician where we’re moving sooner than later!

IMG_5482Eating

Emma didn’t get any new teeth this month, though she had several rough nights that made me sure she was teething. But alas, no new teeth.

Her eating habits this month have gotten pickier. She has started refusing to eat chunks of fruits and vegetables in favor of purees. One time, I tried to trick her by putting a chunk of carrot on a spoon with some puree but she ate the puree and spit out the carrot. She has also started refusing to eat things by sticking her tongue out and not opening her mouth. She’s still a good eater overall though so I’m hoping this is just a phase. Her favorite foods are yogurt, quesadillas, toast, strawberry oatmeal with banana, clementines, and puffs. She also tried tator tots with ketchup and really liked them (who wouldn’t?).

20140208_132411I’m officially done with nursing and pumping during the day. I nurse Emma when she wakes up in the morning, she gets 2 bottles during the day (though she hasn’t been drinking much of the bottles we give her either!), then drinks a bottle + nurses before bed, and nurses when she wakes up in the middle of the night – still about once on average. I tell ya, this little one is a moving target. She is never predictable!

In the next couple of months, we’re going to start weaning Emma from a bottle to a sippy cup. I bought some that aren’t the no-spill kind in the hope that being easier to drink out of will help her understand what to do with them. We’ll see how that goes! We also need to get better at brushing Emma’s teeth. I’ve been totally slacking on that so far.

IMG_5502Sleep

Emma’s sleeping habits haven’t changed much from last month, but her ‘going down’ habits have. She is stuck between not wanting to be held to go to sleep and not wanting to be put down. Every nap and bedtime is a guessing game of what Emma wants. If I had to guess what happens most often, I’d divide it up like this:

60% Emma cries for a few minutes and falls asleep

35% Emma screams her head off and gets rocked/nursed to sleep

5% Emma goes to sleep quietly on her own

IMG_5467I think the reason why it’s such a battle is because Emma has a hard time winding down. She doesn’t like reading books, singing songs, being rocked, being held. Even after a bath and getting pajamas on in a dim room, she’s ready to play. So many times, we do our bedtime routine and try to give her a bottle and she’s too wired to even drink it. She’s bouncing around her crib, squawking, wanting to sit up, crawl around, peek over the edge of the chair, play with the bottle nipple. Ugh, it’s maddening sometimes! But the other night I realized, maybe that’s the way Emma calms down. Maybe instead of the things I think she “should” do to wind down, she just needs to play around in her room with me for a while, doing her own thing, until she’s settled down enough to drink a bottle and nurse. So I think that’s what we’ll start trying.

I’d like to re-read all the sleep books I read when Emma was first born, now that I know her better, and maybe start keeping a diary of when she ate, fell asleep, woke up, etc. again. Because now that she will be home with me full time, I need her to nap better so that I can get stuff done! For us with Emma, sleep is definitely the most challenging part of parenthood.

IMG_5468It doesn’t help that Emma has been perpetually sick since November. Poor little girl. She gets a cold with a stuffy nose for about a week and then it turns into this hacking cough that lasts what seems like forever (but in reality is only 2-3 weeks). Sometimes she coughs so much that she gags and pukes. But according to our pediatrician, that’s pretty normal for kids her age. We give her the Hyland’s cough syrup and have a warm vaporizer going in her room every night, both of which seem to help. I also bought a cart cover to hopefully prevent her from picking up bugs while we’re shopping. 

Development

A few days after she turned 10 months, Emma figured out how to crawl forward!

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20140301_170120And about the middle of last week, she figured out how to pull up on things. It is so cute to go into her room in the morning now and she’s standing there holding on to the side of her crib, talking to herself. It works against us too though because now when she’s upset in her crib, she makes herself even more upset by sitting or standing up.

So far in her newly mobile life, Emma’s favorite toys are the door stop in the living room, the dog dishes (especially the one with water in it!), shoes, a basket in the office and anything with a cord. We let her play with cords when they’re unplugged and she’s supervised. She completely destroyed my phone charger with her slobber. Her favorite rooms are the kitchen and the bathroom. She’s also started paying more attention to the dogs, which they are not completely thrilled about but they’ve been great with her so far. We’ll just have to teach Emma to not touch the dog dishes while they’re eating!

biscuit with dog dishes

One absolutely hilarious thing that Emma has started doing now that she’s crawling is ‘carrying’ stuff in her mouth like a dog. If she’s playing with a toy and wants to move to another spot without putting the toy down, she’ll put it in her mouth and crawl away! I’ve tried to take a picture but she always takes it out of her mouth too quickly.

She’s still as smiley and talkative as ever, and still loves her Baby Einstein table, jumperoo, being twirled around in her highchair and held upside down. She is not a fan of being held up high or thrown into the air though. She has grown more ticklish so it’s easier to get her to laugh and giggle. A couple of times when we’ve been played on the floor, I was laying on my side and would ‘bounce’ my foot over slowly to Emma saying “It’s going to get you!” and then I’d poke her with my toe and she’d laugh her head off. It even got to the point where she’d start laughing before I touched her. So cute!

20140304_180348This month, I also took Emma swimming for the first time. I forgot my camera, so no pictures. ::fail:: But Emma really enjoyed it. My friend Charlotte let her use a floaty ring, so I had Emma in there for part of the time and also held her part of the time. I also took Emma to the mall to ride the merry-go-round/carousel. She did what she usually does during new experiences – showed no emotion.

20140228_153649Anyway, I have to start planning Emma’s birthday party! We’re just going to do something small with family – a luxury that we’ll finally have, being back in Minnesota!

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Schedules, Lists and Plans

6 Mar

First off, I’m sorry that I’ve been completely MIA from my blog and from reading your blogs. My head is spinning with everything that is going on right now, and blogging/reading blogs has fallen way down on the priority list. But I will get caught up eventually!

In the midst of the current chaos, I have been maintaining my sanity by keeping schedules, lists and plans in various areas:

Meal-Planning:

Whenever I get busy, lazy or tired, dinner is one of the first things to go. Poor Travis has had to deal with more than his fair share of frozen pizzas, ‘whatever you can find’ and ‘breakfast for dinner’ dinners. Add to that a complete lack of inspiration for dinner ideas and it was a mess. Then two things happened: I heard of ZipList, an online tool that lets you file recipes and add the ingredients to a shopping list organized by aisle. And I was also inspired by nHerShoes to assign each night a dinner theme, thereby giving a little more structure to what to make. Added bonus: more variety!

I have been doing this for about 3 weeks now, and while it unfortunately hasn’t helped me spend less on groceries (need to start working on that too!), it has been a huge success in helping me make actual dinners, and get away from my handful of rotating recipes (which are great to have, but we needed to mix it up badly!).

Budgeting:

I mentioned back in January that I’m taking over the finances in our family. Well, we haven’t had time to sit down and go over the bills and stuff, so Travis is still handling that. But I have been tracking our budget and spending! After my mind exploded trying to track our credit card, checking account, bills, income, etc. via an Excel spreadsheet, I was inspired by Mel at Winners Wear Yellow to use Mint.com. So. Much. Easier. And it has a nifty button you can check to carry over any unspent funds to the next month, taking the guesswork out of those expenses (like auto and house maintenance) that typically are spent in large chunks, but (ideally) saved for monthly.

We use US Bank and because of security measures for logging in, Mint.com can’t automatically update our account balances and activity. But I can still manually update it, so it works out. It has helped keep us on track and while we are still going over in some categories, we were a lot less over than we were before. Progress!

Running:

I’m training! For a race! I’m 3 weeks in to a 10-week training plan. My longest run so far has been 4 miles – which used to be nothing, but now was the longest run I’ve done since July 2012. I’ve also been doing some cross-training via videos at home and I have to say, it feels GREAT to be back working out regularly. I’m averaging only about 3 times a week, but it’s been nice.

A few things about the race (Hot Chocolate 15k on April 19 in Minneapolis) though are cramping my style:

1) I realized it’s on Easter weekend. We were going to have the race weekend be a little husband/wife getaway sans baby but we have to be with her on her first Easter! So boo on that.

2) Travis is studying for the California Professional Engineers exam, which is like the Colorado PE that he took back in 2012, except even more intense. So he’ll be studying a lot between now and the race, which means I’ll have to watch Emma.

3) It’s still winter in Minnesota. Like, majorly winter. And the town where Travis’ parents live doesn’t have an indoor track, so I’ll be relegated to running on the dreadmill. I don’t know if I can handle that.

Needless to say, with all of those factors, I’m not absolutely dead set on running this race. I’m still going to train for it as much as I can, but if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t happen. I’d still like to run a race before getting pregnant again (ahem…), but flexibility is the name of the game right now.

And that’s all I have time for! I’ll be back tomorrow for Emma’s 11-month update!

* I was not compensated by ZipList, Mint.com or Hot Chocolate 15K for this post. All opinions are my own.

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Our house is under contract!

25 Feb

Our house is under contract! It was only on the market for a day before we received a full-price offer. We accepted the offer with a 30-day closing and right now, are in the midst of inspection items and a looming appraisal. If all goes well, our closing date is March 20, and we give possession on March 22.

I can’t believe it’s actually happening!

I finally told my boss and co-workers that I’m moving to Minnesota. Most of them were not surprised. Hmmm… guess I’m not that good at keeping secrets. But they were all happy for me, and sad to see me go. Our departure is definitely bittersweet.

Since my mommy brain is mush, and I won’t remember this stuff next month, let alone a year or more from now (I’ve probably already forgotten stuff!), here’s what we did to our house to get it ready to sell:

  • Packed up and filled a storage unit with about 75% of our stuff
  • Repainted our kitchen cabinet doors
  • Removed all closet doors and treated with Liquid Gold
  • Replaced all family pictures with landscape scenes
  • Puttyed, sanded, spackled and painted the office ceiling, and spots in the hallway, kitchen, master bedroom and laundry room
  • Scraped, washed and painted the exterior soffit and fascia
  • Hung small piece of wood between roof and fascia for new gutters to be installed
  • Had new gutters installed
  • Painted:
    • The hallway and one wall in the living room
    • Both bathrooms. Twice. (FYI, pastels are not in.)
    • Two walls of the master bedroom (We used a color that we had a full gallon of, but no idea why or who bought it)
    • Half of the laundry room (Half was semi-gloss, half was flat – we have no idea how that happened)
    • The laundry room doors and trim
    • The bench in front of our house
    • The china cabinet in our kitchen
    • The master bathroom vanity
  • Finished the windowsill in the master bathroom and added a piece of white trim above the tile
  • Replaced the front exterior light fixture and house numbers to be more modern
  • Had the carpet replaced (which involved removing everything not attached or contained within a piece of furniture – including our closet organizers, pictures on the walls, bed headboard, file drawers, and low closet shelves – and then putting it all back; we hired them to move the furniture itself)
  • Replaced the toilet seat in the main bathroom
  • Spent 3 whole days deep-cleaning our house with a toothbrush and bleach (I actually took work off to clean our house.)
  • Bought new throw pillows for bed and rug for kitchen
  • Bought new nightstands to replace our crappy makeshift ones: a nightstand we rescued from the curb, and a garden table

This is what happens when you leave many house projects only half finished. And totally slack on cleaning.

And that list doesn’t include all of the ‘re-dos’ we had. Our house project mantra was, “Two steps forward, One step back.” For example, when staining the windowsill in the master bathroom, Travis taped off the vanity. When he removed said tape, part of the fake wood veneer came with it. So we had to remove the vanity and paint it. After painting said vanity, we tried to hang it back up. Somehow, we didn’t get one of screws in the right place and it literally busted out a 3-inch chunk of sheet rock. The vanity is now held up with 3 screws instead of 4. In the midst of that debacle, we scraped some of the new paint off the vanity. OMG!!!!

Another instance: Travis and his dad redid our main bathroom last February. In the course of that project, Travis repainted the door trim. We didn’t even know it was possible but that extra coat of paint made the bathroom door no longer shut. So Travis pounded on the trim, busting it loose from the wall. After a few finish nails, the trim was anchored and the door shut, but now the trim and surrounding wall needed to be painted. Again.

Those were the worst things, but there were other little ones like having to repaint a piece of baseboard that was now uncovered by shorter carpet. Or touch up trim in the hallway that had had paint seep on it from underneath the painter’s tape when we painted the walls. Or another one of my favorites, having to repaint the kitchen drawers because someone dripped red wine all down them, and it wouldn’t come off without removing the paint along with it.

But it was all worth it to have our house sell so fast. It was really helpful to have a Realtor with an eye for decorating and staging.

The buyers are a young couple buying their first home. I like to imagine that they’re newlyweds and just starting out like Travis and I were when we bought this house, our first home. I hope they build lots of memories in it – that they host barbecues on the deck in back; play horseshoes and narrowly miss hitting the neighbor’s shed; climb up on the roof to watch the Carnation Festival fireworks; get their hands dirty doing landscaping and gardening; have fun decorating the inside; rock out in the garage while working on their cars; spend cozy winter days on the couch watching the snow come down thick; run hundreds of miles on the neighborhood greenway; walk to Dairy Queen on summer evenings; and so much more. I love this house. And even though it has been a bugger at times (ripping windows out with sawzalls and having the heavens open while half the house is sans shingles), I will always remember it. Actually, those bugger things are some of the best memories.

Now that I’m crying, here are the pictures posted with our listing. (If you’re interested in what the house looked like before, click here.)

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Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts.

– Arnold Bennett

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Uprooting Bitterness in Marriage

18 Feb

Last weekend, my Facebook feed was full of Valentine’s Day stories. Flowers, candlelight dinners, surprise gifts, you name it. I didn’t post mine: sitting in bed with a second glass of wine, chocolate and my iPad playing My First Home episodes on Netflix. Alone. Somehow, a few months ago, I had agreed to Travis playing in a pond hockey tournament up in the mountains that weekend. Happy Valentine’s Day!

I was very tempted to be bitter. Bitter that Travis was doing something fun while I stayed home to care for our dogs and baby. Bitter that I had to take care of getting our house ready for showing by myself. Bitter that I had to spend Valentine’s Day alone.

Turns out, I’m a ‘glass half empty’ kind of gal. Poor Travis has to deal with me getting hung up on everything that’s wrong, needs fixing, isn’t what I wanted in our marriage. I do it in my relationship with God, in my marriage, in my self. Bitterness starts off as jealousy or hurt feelings or unfulfilled desires. The seed gets planted there. Then it grows and morphs and starts taking over. My female brain is able to keep a running tally of every way that Travis fails and disappoints, and use it against him. Everything he does is added to a mental tally sheet with 2 columns: ‘He Did It Right’ and ‘He Did It Wrong.’

DSC02446June 2008 (a little over a year of being married)

Bitterness threatened to destroy our marriage for the first several years. The tough thing about bitterness is that it’s sneaky. It’s no coincidence that the Bible talks about the root of bitterness ‘springing up’ – it isn’t there, and then it is. And once you get going down that trail, it’s hard to get off. Because you feel so justified in being angry. Just like God asks Jonah, “Do you do well to be angry…?” and Jonah retorts, “Yes, I do well to be angry, angry enough to die.” Oh, how that is my heart so often!

Obviously, my struggle with bitterness is ongoing. Having a baby has added a whole new dimension to it. In marriage, and now in parenthood, it is so easy to keep a running tally of Who’s Done What, and Who’s Done More. But as I’ve discovered over and over again, that kind of tally helps no one. In fact, it is the breeding ground of bitterness, and it will destroy a marriage if not guarded against.

wpid-20130518_175951.jpgOur 6-Year Anniversary – May 19, 2013

So here’s what I have to remind myself of in the midst of the struggle against bitterness, specifically in marriage. Hopefully it’s helpful:

1) Find your fulfillment in God. As Christians, we have a beautiful hope in the gospel. We know that there is One who understands us perfectly. There is One who is able to satisfy every need and desire – Jesus. We also know that our Savior is committed to changing us, and to bringing about His glory and our good in our lives. He will not leave us alone, or things as they are. He is working His redemptive story out. He wants your marriage to be whole and healthy. So even when it feels like things have been the same forever, and you can’t see how they will ever get better, hold on. Continue pursuing God and a heart of obedience.

2) Be thankful. Bitterness comes out of a heart that feels like it has been slighted, overlooked or neglected. But God has given abundant blessings to everyone, including me and you. Search diligently for them. Speak thanksgiving out loud for them. They may be small. They may seem insignificant and trivial compared to what is ‘wrong’. But thanksgiving replaces bitterness. Similarly…

3) Focus on the positives. Bitterness seeks out situations and problems to justify itself, and add fuel to the fire. Everything is seen through that lens, and drowns out any positives of the situation. With Travis, I had to let go of all the things I was holding in my “He Did It Wrong” hand, and start intentionally focusing on the things that I love about him and the things he does ‘right’. At first, I could only come up with a couple. But as time went on, I was able to see more and more. I have to keep bringing myself back to those things whenever I’m tempted to be bitter at him for something.

4) Be honest. Bitterness points a finger. It does not acknowledge its own blame. It took me over 5 years in my marriage to realize that I was bitter at Travis about something that I was the main culprit in. I’m certain that I would still not be aware of that had God not shown it to me, but it took that honest revelation of my own guilt for me to get over the bitterness that I felt in that area. What’s more, after I got over the bitterness and admitted how I was helping to cause the situation, I felt freed to work on bettering the situation with what I could control.

5) Communicate. So often, my bitterness has come from assuming that Travis did or didn’t do something intentionally, with certain motives or for a certain reason. If you’re going to assume, give the other person the benefit of the doubt. If you can’t do that, don’t assume! If you want them to do something for you, ask them to. If they didn’t do something you expected them to, calmly ask why not. If you were upset by something, explain why. Even if you think that a situation shouldn’t need an explanation, or that they should ‘just know’, communicate. Travis and I are finding out as parents that it’s better to over-communicate, than under-communicate. But with the caveat that it’s best to communicate when you can do so without yelling or cursing. 😉

6) Focus on serving. Bitterness ultimately comes from being focused on myself. My needs, my desires, what I’m getting or not getting. But when I focus on making Travis happy instead of waiting for or expecting him to make me happy, it’s a win-win. I actually make myself happy by making him happy. It’s not always easy to lay down my own agenda, and I’m not the best at thinking about Travis’ needs over mine, but when I do, I’m always glad I did.

So at the end of the day, I’m glad that Travis got to play hockey. He loves it and I want him to be able to do the things he loves. I’m also glad that he bought me a massage for Valentine’s Day because I am so using that this weekend!

………………..

“Behold, I am making all things new.” (Revelation 21:5)

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The History of My Heart

13 Feb

It’s Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week. And seeing as how I was born with one, I thought I’d share my story for the sake of awareness. 😉 Thanks to my mom for helping me get the facts straight.

It started when I was 6 months old. I got double pneumonia and one of my lungs collapsed, so I had to be hospitalized. About a year later, I got pneumonia again. During that time, my family had temporarily relocated to Endicott, New York, for my dad’s job with IBM. During my post-recovery checkup, my doctor there noticed that my heart didn’t sound right, so he recommended that my mom get me checked out after we returned to Rochester, Minnesota.

Almost immediately after returning to Rochester, when I was about 2, my parents took me in for an EKG. They discovered that I had an atrial septal defect.

Asd-webAs my parents explained it to me growing up, I had a hole in my heart, so the blood flowed where it shouldn’t. My lungs were ‘squishy’ with extra fluid, which is why I kept getting pnuemonia.

There was a chance, though, that the hole would close itself. So my parents waited to see if it would. But by the time I turned 4, it still hadn’t so they decided to move forward with the surgery. Open heart surgery.

The year was 1987. AIDS was getting a lot of attention (and fear) in America. The doctors told my parents that they couldn’t guarantee that the blood transfusions they’d give me during surgery would be HIV free. My parents were not having that, so they both got tested and my mom’s blood was the closer match. The doctors thought they could probably find a closer match from the blood bank, but my mom’s was close enough.

Now the only problem was that the blood bank wasn’t set up for someone to donate for another specific person. You could donate blood for yourself, or for other people in general, but it took a lot of negotiating with the blood bank and surgeon to convince them to let my mom donate blood for me. Finally, they allowed it, and over the course of a couple months, my mom donated 5 units of blood.

The day of surgery arrived. Since I was so young, I don’t remember a ton. I remember playing in a play room with other young patients before my surgery. And I remember waking up with a breathing tube down my throat. That’s about it.

So here’s what my mom remembers:

I arrived at the hospital the night before and my mom stayed with me. She was most worried about me having to get a breathing tube put in. I was brave though, and waved as I was wheeled into surgery, not on a bed but in a little red wagon.

The doctors had planned to cut me open straight up and down, but my mom requested that they not. So instead, they cut me horizontally from the middle of my chest across to under my right arm. I have a scar there, and 2 more on my stomach – one on the side, one on the upper front – from tubes.

During surgery, the doctors stopped my heart to close the hole. That’s amazing to me.

I was in the hospital for 5 days. I recovered very quickly, and was up and running around in no time. I didn’t complain much about the stitches.

I’m lucky that my heart defect was fixed by surgery, and that I lived in a time and place to have access to modern medicine. I have not had any side effects or issues with my heart or health since then. Though I do like to joke that maybe that’s why I’m such a slow runner…

My mom actually had a congenital heart disorder too. Hers was a Patent Ductus Arteriosus. She had surgery when she was 5 in the year 1958. It was the first kind of heart surgery doctors were able to perform successfully. She stayed in the hospital for 10 days.

Approximately 9 in 1,000 babies are born with a congenital heart defect. At Emma’s last doctor appointment, they observed that she has an innocent heart murmur. They said it’s nothing to be concerned about, and most kids outgrow theirs, but it’s definitely something I’m going to keep an eye on, given my history. I can’t imagine going through with Emma what my parents went through with me!

Anyway, that’s my story!

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Running Soundtracks

30 Jan

I love the power of music to transport you back to different times in your life or remind you of things you hadn’t thought about for years. Music reminds me of many different things, but one of the most significant is running.

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“Bigger Than My Body” by John Mayer reminds me of running on the treadmill as a sophomore in college, trying to cancel out all the alcohol and pot-induced munchies I had consumed the night before.

“In This Moment” by FFH reminds me of running by the Mississippi River on West River Parkway as a junior in college. As a new believer, I loved the way Christian music reminded me of the new truths that I was learning – and understanding – for the first time.

“Long Way Around” by Dixie Chicks brings back memories of training for my first ever road race – the White Bear Lake Rotary Freedom 10 Mile – the year after I graduated. It was during one of the first miles of that race that Travis first heard me fart. (Hey, it’s hard to hold them in when you’re running!) Driving home from that race, my car was rear-ended and nearly totaled. Luckily, all of us in the car were fine.

In 2010, I ran my heart out to lots of Lady Gaga and “Sexy B!tch” by David Guerra during my first attempt at training for a marathon. I was forced to drop to the half in the Malibu Marathon due to an over-tight IT band.

I listened to at least one song from the album “All Sides” by O.A.R. every workout when training for my Olympic triathlon in 2011. Those songs remind me of running laps on our gym’s tiny, 10-times-around-is-a-mile track.

In 2012, I successfully trained for and ran the Mayor’s Marathon in Anchorage listening to copious amounts of Harry Potter audio books. HA! But I also listened to “Undo It” and “Cowboy Casanova” by Carrie Underwood quite often.

And now, on the cusp of training for my first race post-baby, I have compiled a new playlist – or running soundtrack, if you will. Let’s hope these songs are just as inspiring!

  1. Uprising by Muse
  2. Counting Stars by OneRepublic
  3. Take a Walk by Passion Pit
  4. Roll Away Your Stone by Mumford & Sons
  5. Safe and Sound by Capital Cities
  6. Wake Me Up by Avicii
  7. Best Day of My Life by American Authors
  8. San Francisco by The Mowgli’s
  9. Out of My League by Fitz and the Tantrums
  10. Chocolate by The 1975
  11. Ho Hey by The Lumineers
  12. I Will Wait by Mumford & Sons

What songs are your favorites for running?

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If You Give a Mom a Muffin…

25 Jan

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Emma got some of the “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” books for Christmas. I had actually never read any of them before that, but they are very cute!

The other day, I saw this poem on Facebook and thought it was hilarious. After a little searching on the interwebs, I found the original post and author.

So go read If You Give a Mom a Muffin. It’s worth it!

That’s all I got for today. We’re getting our gutters installed and having a painting party. Sunday and Monday, we’ll be busy packing everything up for carpet to be installed on Tuesday. And we’re meeting with our realtor again on Friday. The to-do list is getting shorter! I’ll post pictures once our house is on the market.

Have a great Saturday!

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9 Months Postpartum

22 Jan

Every month, I feel more in the groove of being a mother. In the past 3 months, I’ve started to once again make dinner, exercise, have date nights with Travis and read. We’re also in the thick of learning how to do house projects with a baby. We couldn’t do them this quickly, though, without a bunch of awesome friends who are willing to help us out. Thanks friends!

So here’s life at 9 months (almost 10 months…) postpartum:

Physical Recovery

Obviously I’m long since recovered from actually giving birth, but my body is still not the same. Most noticeably, I can’t sleep on my left side for very long because it ends up hurting my stomach. ?!?!? And I can still tell that my joints are achier/weaker. But maybe that’s just me getting old and/or out of shape…

I still have a linea negra on my belly, though it’s *almost* gone. And I still haven’t gotten my monthly visitor back, which I thank breastfeeding for.

I would also like to note here that my body has mostly adjusted to chronic sleep deprivation. Even on days when I feel like a zombie in the morning, I can usually turn things around after several cups of coffee and be fairly productive/interactive. But to maintain that, I have to go to bed between 8 and 9 every night. Emma is an early riser!

Body Weight / Image

3and6monthspostpartum

9monthspostpartum

I am down to my pre-pregnancy weight, but as I mentioned in my 6-month update, I was in marathon shape and very muscular then, so being the same weight doesn’t mean I’m the same as I was then. The 2 main differences that I notice about my body now vs. pre-pregnancy are 1) my stomach is squishier and 2) my butt is flatter – not necessarily a good thing. I’m sure things will start firming back up, though, now that I’m actually working out again. I’m planning to start training soon for a 15K in April. It’ll feel good to have a goal again. Until then, I’m just getting back into the groove of running with some 2 and 3 mile runs.

I’ve also been doing some strength training at home, and last week, I checked out a bunch of workout DVDs from the library. The only workout DVDs I currently have are either too long to do during naptime, or too intense for my poor joints, so I’m looking to add some to my collection. I haven’t been going to the gym for workout classes and stuff as much as I thought I would – usually because it’s either Emma’s naptime, or will be soon, and she is known for having meltdowns when she’s tired and not with mom. But I don’t want to use that as an excuse to not work out at all – hence the DVDs. In our new (bigger) house, I’m hoping to have an exercise room where I can have my bike set up on the trainer, an elliptical (my birthday present from my parents last year! We just don’t have it at our house because it’s too small), a TV for workout DVDs, free weights, exercise ball, etc.

Since the new year, I’ve also been eating healthier. Most notably, I’ve been eating a fruit or veggie with (almost) every meal or snack, cut WAY back on my sweets and wine intake, and cooking something for dinner besides a frozen pizza. Planning is key. If I fail to plan, I fall to pizza. Anyway, eating better and exercising more has helped me start feeling more like my old self, and not so much of a blob. It’s nice.

Emotional

I still have my moments, but overall, I am really enjoying being a mom right now. Emma is such a delight and even when she’s screaming, I can’t help but smile and say “Oh, she’s so cute! I could just eat her up!” I love the noises and faces she makes. I enjoy seeing her little personality emerge. I love when she giggles, and how she loves being held upside down and spun around in chairs. Crazy little girl!

During one of Travis’ recent work trips, I realized that I’m not scared to be alone with Emma at night anymore. I’m not scared of her waking up, or her screaming bloody murder for no reason. Because I’ve done it all and survived! But really, I think it’s because I know Emma so much better now. There are still times when I have no clue what’s wrong, but for the most part, I know what’s up and can remedy it. It does help to know, though, that the world won’t stop spinning if I don’t get much sleep one night. I just look forward to Travis coming home so that I can have a nap!

It’s hard to believe that Emma will be 1 year old in just a few months. It’s gone fast, and yet so much has happened during that time. I’m probably the only one, but I honestly do not feel like time is going too quickly. I don’t want Emma to remain forever young. I want to know her personality, to find out what she’s interested in and talented at, to experience the world with her. That means she has to grow up. And I welcome it! Maybe someday I will miss the baby days, but right now, I’m enjoying the baby days but excited for all that the coming months and years have in store.

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Where I’ve Been + Where I’m Going

9 Jan

Where I’ve Been

At the beginning of last year, I set the goal of writing down one thing each day that I was thankful for. Well, after March 11, I failed. Miserably.

But all is not lost, because I did spend the year learning how to be thankful when life is hard. Becoming a mom has challenged me in more ways than anything ever has – even more than getting married. It has forced me to let go of my to-do list and agenda daily. It has changed my identity. It has changed how I spend my free time (what’s free time again?). It changed my marriage. It changed my career. It changed my home.

I’ve discovered, though, that no matter how much in my life changes, or what season I’m going through, whether things are easy or hard, whether I’m satisfied or discontent, giving God thanks is always the path to joy. Because in giving thanks, I accept the life God has given me and deem it Good.

I admit, it is HARD to give thanks when you want to yell and scream and kick against the circumstances God has allowed. When you want to send the meal of your life back to the kitchen and order something else. But because we Christians have the promise of eternity with God, and a purpose for things that is bigger than this visible world, we can be thankful for ALL THINGS.

Where I’m Going

I thought that making one goal for the year would increase my odds of actually achieving it. But I proved that theory wrong last year. So for 2014, I’m aiming a bit lower with ‘areas of focus.’ Ha. Mostly the New Year just coincides with me finally deciding to get my act together and stop making excuses. So without further adieu, here are my 4 ‘areas of focus’ for 2014 (in order of importance):

1) Spend time with God daily. God is the most important aspect of my life. If I can make time for anything else, I can make time for Him. It doesn’t have to be sitting down and reading the Bible, though that’s usually what it looks like. It could be listening to a sermon while running, just praying for an extended amount of time, soaking in worship music on the way to work, etc. Just something that gets me engaging with God and reminding my soul of truth every day.

2) Eat healthy foods. Over the past year or so, I have found myself regularly eating things that before getting pregnant, I would have only eaten once in a blue moon. I’ve also been slacking on eating the healthy stuff. So what this ‘area of focus’ entails is:

  • Include a fruit or vegetable with every meal and snack.
  • Drink wine only one day a week.
  • Eat only one sweet a day, if any.

3) Exercise. I say that this is one of my passions, but looking at my tracking in MapMyRun, you would never know it! I’ve been thinking recently about the reasons why I haven’t gotten back in the groove, and my ‘reasons’ are pathetic. If I can find time to go to Target 3 times a week, I can find time to work out! So no more excuses. I just need to do it. Already this week, I’ve gone on my first run since Thanksgiving, my first swim since May 2012 and done an 8-minute Tabata workout that made me sore. Man, I am so out of shape. But fortunately, I just enjoy being active, even if it’s a pale comparison to my pre-pregnancy fitness.

4) Stick to a budget. God has blessed Travis and I with abundance, and until Emma, we were a DINK (Dual Income No Kids) family, so while we’ve had a budget for the past couple of years, I don’t think we’ve actually stuck to it. Ever. However, since I’ll probably no longer be working when we move, and we plan to have more kids in the next several years, we will need to learn how to! I also feel convicted that we aren’t being the best stewards of God’s money by not knowing more about where all our money goes.

Our main problem with sticking to a budget is that even though we are fairly practical in what we buy, we make a lot of purchases that aren’t planned for. They’re usually paid for out of what we call the ‘slop’ in our budget (a.k.a. the money we’ve budgeted for other things that we didn’t use this month, but might need next month). So we will definitely need to learn delayed gratification.

On a similar note, we’ve recently decided that I am going to take over handling our finances, paying bills, etc. (GULP) since I’m the one who spends most of our money. I’m toying with the idea of going back to using envelopes of cash (Dave Ramsey style). Best part of this is that I am now in control of the (nonexistent) Gun Fund. 😉

So there you have it!

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