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Back to Work: How It’s Going

10 Aug

I’ve made it through 2 weeks of being back at work so far (a total of 6 days) and like I mentioned in my last post, things are going really well so far.

My two main concerns going into this change were: 1) being able to pump enough milk and 2) Emma taking good enough naps to not ruin her night sleep. I’m happy to report that both of those things are going as well as I had hoped!

First, milk. My work has a mother’s room that is only about a 1-minute walk from my office, which is great. It has 2 tables, a bunch of outlets, a fridge, microwave, cabinets, and a sink. I pump 3 times a day (usually around 10, 1 and 4) for a total of about 15 minutes. With the walk, setup, cleanup and pumping time, it probably takes about 20 minutes total. I’m paid hourly now that I’m only part-time, so I go in 30 minutes early to offset the time I spend pumping (and I figure I get at least an on-the-clock 15 minute break by law so I think it’s working out ok). I don’t have a laptop so sometimes I bring work that I can easily print off (like emails or presentations to review) but most of the time, I just count it as non-work time and read blogs or a book. (I’m currently reading Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan. If you like his stand-up comedy, you’d like the book!)

I had discussed my fears about not having enough milk with one of my friends who had gone back part-time after having her kids and she suggested I take a Go-Lacta Malunggay supplement. She said that it had helped her produce so much extra milk, she actually became engorged. So I figured, what the heck, it’s worth a shot. You can take 2-3 capsules 3 times a day but I’m only taking 1 a day, since I wanted to avoid having WAY too much milk. And I think it’s working. Each time I pump, I get 4 oz, sometimes 5 (total). Before I started taking the supplement, I was pumping only about 3 each time. Regardless of the explanation, I’m relieved that milk hasn’t been an issue so far.

So I bring my breast pump in a bag, and 3 empty bottles in a bottle cooler over to the mother’s room for my first pumping, and I leave them there until my last pumping. I use the 3 bottles I fill each day for the next day. I have been freezing the bottles from Thursday since I thought the milk could only be in the fridge for 72 hours before using or freezing, but I just read that 5 days is acceptable, so I guess I might just leave them in the fridge from now on.

Anyway, I ended up buying a pumping bra and I’m very glad that I did. Not only is it nice to have both hands free while pumping, it has been nice for modesty too, since there is almost always another woman in the mother’s room pumping too.

Second, naps. Emma has taken probably only 5 or 6 naps longer than 45 minutes on her own for me in her life. But at Charlotte’s house, she’ll take at least nap longer than an hour a day, sometimes two. Sometimes she even sleeps 2 hours! I’m really glad for both Charlotte and Emma’s sake that she’s napping so well – but I wish she would nap like that for me too! I asked Charlotte what she does to get her to nap like that, and one of her ideas was that I put her down for naps too early – she waits until Emma is ready to crack, whereas I had just been watching the clock and putting her down when it was ‘time.’

I’ve been trying Charlotte’s strategy the past couple of days and I will say that Emma goes down MUCH easier than before. For one of her naps today, I literally swaddled her and she fell asleep. No bouncing, no pacifier. It was amazing. I figured that since the timing was so perfect, she would sleep for a while. Nope. She woke up after about 35 minutes. Wah wah. But I’ll keep trying. Emma is not predictable in any sense, so maybe it’ll work tomorrow.

As far as my emotions about leaving Emma, I am definitely sad each morning when I drop her off, and I look at her picture a lot while I’m at work. But I have enjoyed being back at work a lot more than I expected. Things are crazy busy so it’s been a little stressful, but I love having adult responsibilities, doing something I’m good at, and having time to just sit and focus on what I’m doing, instead of feeling rushed or being interrupted. I also appreciate and enjoy Emma more during the evenings and on the days I’m home. So for now, this was definitely the right choice for us.

Luckily, Emma hasn’t yet had a bad night of sleeping on a ‘work night’ so I’m sure that’ll add some drama into the mix when she does. That is always the most daunting and scary part to me about Travis traveling for work (which he is doing every 2-3 weeks right now). Even though he no longer gets up at night to help with Emma (unless she’s waking up every hour or 2 and I know she isn’t hungry, which is rare), it’s just nice to know that he’s there – probably because he can watch her in the morning while I go back to bed for a few hours – like I did this morning. But overall, God has been VERY gracious to me while Travis is gone because there have only been a few times when I felt at the end of my rope. Emma has saved all her fussiness for when daddy’s back home. 😉

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Our Cloth Diapering Experience

28 Jul

Since we’re using cloth diapers, I thought I’d write the quintessential cloth diapering post.

We started using them around 10.5 weeks. By then, Emma was only pooping once every 1-2 days and I finally felt ready to take on the adventure of cloth diapering.

I had researched diapers during pregnancy and had some friends who liked the bumgenius diapers. So I registered for and planned to buy all one size bumgenius 4.0 pocket diapers with snaps. But then we only received 2 from our showers and a friend from church offered to give me all of her cloth diapers. She had used them with her first two kids but decided to do disposable with her third. I wasn’t about to turn down that kind of generosity – cloth diapers are expensive and we weren’t even sure we’d like them. So we ended up with several kinds of diapers, and as it turns out, the bumgenius ones aren’t my favorite anyway. So my first piece of advice: try out several brands before committing to one.

All of the diapers we have are one size pocket diapers. My friend had about half FuzziBunz and half bumgenius.

FuzziBunz
These are probably my favorite but they’re also the most expensive, at $20 a diaper. I really like how they fit Emma, and they have adjustable elastic around the leg openings and waistband on the back, so you can make the diaper fit right. There are 3 snaps in a triangle on each side and they’re very easy to use and adjust. You can even snap one flap over the other for a smaller fit around the waist.
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I also like that there isn’t a fold in the back so it’s easy to get the insert out.
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The only drawback is that the ends of the elastic tend to come out of their little holes.
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It’s not a biggie to put them back in but it’s just one more thing to do. I’ve also had the most leaks with these but I think that might be the result of not having the elastic adjusted properly.

Bumgenius

I have two versions of bumgenius diapers: velcro and snaps. For some reason, the velcro ones are really bulky so I don’t use them. I think they’ll fit better when Emma is older.
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The snap ones I have are the new 4.0 one size diapers (shown on the smallest setting height-wise).
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They work well enough but on the smallest size, the insert pushes the front of the diaper up. It’s hard to explain so I’ll show a picture:
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That’s really the only complaint I have though. I haven’t had any leaks and the diapers fit pretty well. The pocket does have a fold to keep the insert in but I don’t find that to be a big issue.
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The inside fabric is really soft too, which I like.

Kawaii Baby

I actually had never heard of this brand but I got one for free when I bought our wet bags and some cloth wipes from Kelly’s Closet.
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I liked the diaper so much that I bought 5 more! (From Sweet Bottoms since they were out of stock on Kelly’s Closet.) I would’ve bought more FuzziBunz but the Kawaii diapers are only $10 each, so I can get 2 for the price of 1 FuzziBunz diapers.
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The pocket in these also has a fold. They come with 2 inserts like the bumgenius diapers but I only use one at a time.

The snaps are a combination of the bumgenius and FuzziBunz styles – triangle snaps around the waist like FuzziBunz and three rows of snaps for adjusting the height.

Full disclosure: I still use disposable diapers at night. It’s easier and I don’t have to worry about leaks. Plus Emma has diapers she needs to use before she gets too big for them.

Storage of Dirty Diapers

We bought 2 Planet Wise wet bags to put dirty diapers in – 1 to use at home and 1 for the diaper bag. I have no complaints about these bags. They keep the smell completely contained and are really easy to wash with the diapers when they get really stinky (about every 3-4 diaper washes).

We bought the hanging dry/wet bag for the nursery. I haven’t used the dry compartment yet but might use it if we continue cloth diapers at daycare (my friend is willing to).
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When I take a used diaper off Emma, I pull the insert out of the pocket, lay it in the diaper and fold both in half before putting them in the bag. Since I’m still exclusively breastfeeding, I don’t do anything to the poopy diapers because it all comes out in the first rinse cycle. I put our cloth wipes in the bags too. When I go to wash the diapers and wipes, I just shake all the diapers out of the bag into the washer. Easy!

The hanging wet bag is supposed to hold about 25 diapers but it gets pretty full with only about 15. I’d probably be able to fit about 20 but I don’t have that many diapers I like to use right now (hence buying more).

I do the same thing when out and about but I store the diapers in our medium wet bag:
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That bag is supposed to hold 6-7 diapers.

Washing and Drying Diapers

I bought Rockin Green detergent to use for washing diapers.
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It seems expensive at $15 a bag but you only use 1-2 tbsp per load so it lasts a while. I bought a little scoop from Kelly’s Closet (where I also bought the soap) to measure it out.

To wash the diapers, I run the diapers through one cold rinse cycle first with no soap. Then I add the detergent and run them on a regular hot wash cycle (which ends with another cold rinse).

For drying, I hang all the diapers and wipes on a drying rack and put it outside to be bleached and sanitized by the sun.
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I dried them on low in the dryer a few times before we bought a drying rack but it took a while for them to dry completely. During the winter, I’ll probably use the dryer more but the diaper covers dry faster than the inserts, so I’ll probably remove them earlier than the inserts.

Storage of Clean Diapers

When I first started using cloth, I assembled the diapers after washing them by stuffing them with the inserts. But then I got wise (or maybe just lazy). Now I just put them in a fabric bag and assemble them as I use them.
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Or I stack them folded with the insert so I don’t have to dig in the bag.
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We also use cloth wipes and actually have since Emma was born because she gets diaper rash really easily from traditional wipes (even the ‘sensitive’ ones).
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We have a spray bottle filled with a solution of 1/2 water, 1/4 baby oil, and 1/4 baby lotion, and just spray the wipe before we use it. No more diaper rash! (I do still use regular wipes on the go so I don’t have to bring the spray bottle along.) But I’ll probably try to have my friend use cloth wipes while Emma’s at daycare.

Whew, that was long! Feel free to email me with questions. I can see us using cloth diapers for a long time to come!

My Next Half-Marathon Plan

16 Jul

When Travis asked me what I wanted for my birthday, my answer was “To run a half marathon.” But with Travis traveling so much this summer, and Emma being too young for gym childcare, I can’t commit to training quite yet.

I have a plan though. Our gym has childcare starting at 6 months. If I could run 3-4 miles by then (beginning of October), I could start a 12-week training plan and run a half in January or February.

Travis is thinking about running the half with me, and we’ve talked about doing a destination race – ideas so far are St. George, UT; San Francisco, or somewhere in Arizona or New Mexico. We’d obviously need someone to watch Emma while we ran so my parents might join us too. I’m so excited!

Since I’ll be working 3 days a week and those days will be too busy to fit in a workout, I’ll have 4 days for training. I plan to run 3 days (1 long run, 1 speed workout, and 1 short to mid-distance run) and do 1 day of cross-training (yoga, biking, or swimming).

Now to research some races!

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The Big 3-0

15 Jul

Today I turned the big 3-0. I feel like I’m officially an adult but it also feels a bit surreal that my 20s are over. Milestones have that kind of effect. I felt it when I got my drivers license. When I went to college. When I graduated and got my first real job. When I got married. When we bought a house. And then when I got pregnant and gave birth to Emma. They’re those things you anticipate so much for so many years that when they finally happen, you can hardly believe it.

Turning 30 doesn’t bother me. Age is just a number. I’m not a huge fan of the physical changes that come along with getting older but I can embrace it as an opportunity to really learn to not put my stock in physical beauty. Mostly, I am just excited with the new adventures that my 30s will bring – growing our family, learning how to be a godly mother, taking fun vacations, creating more memories with my husband, moving back to Minnesota (?), going deeper in my relationship with God. I’m sure I will see challenges and perhaps sorrows, but there will be joy.

Enough musing. How am I celebrating this big milestone? Well, last Saturday, Travis and I left Emma with some friends and went on a date. We drove up to Boulder and went shopping at lululemon for my birthday present – a pair of black Wunder Under crop pants. I’ve been wanting a new pair of black running/yoga capris for a while, have heard lots of raves about lululemon, but just haven’t been able to justify spending that much money on workout clothes. But it’s not everyday you turn 30.

Then we went out to eat at the Walnut Brewery near Pearl Street. I had lobster and shrimp tacos that were AMAZING. It was such a fun evening, and it was so nice to have time with Travis, just the two of us, and drink a glass of wine. Emma did really well with our friends too, so that was good.

Today, I started off with some coffee, then went to a yoga class while Travis watched Emma, and tonight we’re going to have tacos for dinner. My obsession with Mexican food that started during pregnancy hasn’t disappeared! This coming Friday, I’m having a girls’ night with friends – we’re going to watch a movie and eat ice cream. And then later this fall, my family is talking about doing something big to celebrate my mom and uncle turning 60 (my mom’s birthday was on July 13) and my sister-in-law also turning 30 this year. Fun!

Birthdays definitely look different as an (official) adult than they did when I was younger, but they’re still a great excuse to have fun with friends and treat yourself a bit. I love birthdays!

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12 Weeks Postpartum

27 Jun

It’s been 12 weeks since I gave birth to our little girl. Here’s how things are going:

Physical Recovery

I feel more and more like my old self every day. Albeit, a weaker and less fit self but it’s still nice.

With Travis traveling a lot for work now and Emma not liking her carseat a whole ton, running, and working out in general, has really taken a backseat. Hopefully I’ll figure out how to squeeze something in but I’m just trying to be patient right now – it’s only for a season. Emma and I do take a short walk every day so I’m not a total bum.

I had started to take birth control with a low dose of estrogen (Lo Loestrin) but when I went to get my prescription filled after finishing the sample pack, I discovered that our insurance didn’t cover much of it, so it would cost me almost $90 a month. Um, no. So I’m going to start taking a generic progesterone-only pill that my insurance will cover.

I still have a lot of breakouts on my face, though it does seem to be slowly getting better.

I still have the linea negra, though that is also starting to fade slowly.

And finally, I’ve started sleeping on my stomach again! I mostly sleep on my back and side still because of breast fullness but that’sbgotten a lot better than it was even a month ago. Oh how I’ve missed sleeping on my stomach!

Body Weight / Image
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I haven’t lost any weight since my 6-week postpartum update, so I’m still 7-8 pounds above my pre-pregnancy weight. I bought a few new pairs of pants that I can wear to work, a couple pairs of shorts, and some looser tops, so I’m not feeling tons of pressure to lose the weight – and I’m pretty sure it’d be darn near impossible anyway since some of it comes from having grown 2 cup sizes (pregnancy and then breastfeeding). And though I would love to tone up my stomach, it’s just not my focus right now. I’ll get there eventually.

My eating habits haven’t been the greatest either. With Travis gone, I’ve been surviving on leftovers and easy things like cereal, bagels and toast. I do have dinner with friends on a regular basis so that helps me eat healthier meals (since they’re cooking). My plan is to cook healthy meals while Travis is home, with enough extra to give me leftovers for lunch or dinner while he’s gone. I’m also going to try to eat more fruits and veggies.

Emotional

The emotional aspect of motherhood is still hard for me. There are some days when I love being a mom and feel optimistic about the new pace of life – those days are a breath of fresh air that help rejuvenate me. But other days are a struggle. I long for the old days of freedom and ease. I feel isolated at home and totally unsure of my decisions as a mother (specifically regarding Emma’s sleep habits). I get discouraged because I don’t have time to do things like workout or cook dinner.

But I’ve been reminding myself of 2 truths for encouragement:

One, I will never again have this much time to devote to one child. I won’t be able to sit and hold Emma or her siblings for naps when she’s older and not an only child, so instead of wishing this time away so that I could do laundry or dishes, or an exercise video, I should enjoy it – it’s only temporary.

Two, the words of James: “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

My main struggle is faith – am I truly trusting that this is how God wants me to spend my time? Or do I think there’s something more noble, fulfilling and worthy of my energy? Not every woman is called to be a mother, but I am. And after my calling as a wife, there is nothing more important for me than being a mother. It may look differently than I expected (and it does!) but it’s exactly what God expected and planned for me. I’m still learning how to let go of expectations and joyfully embrace the reality that God has ordained for my life. I’m sure it’ll be a lifelong lesson!

God is using parenting to teach me self-sacrifice and to find my joy and worth in Him alone. I am being shown how much of my identity and self-worth has been tied up in being productive and doing things I’m good at – or at least things I know a lot about. With those reassurances stripped away, I am completely dependent on God’s help and grace. There’s nothing like the feeling of helplessness to drive me into God’s arms. So for that, I’m thankful. And I’m praying that God would continue to help me embrace my new reality and joyfully make these sacrifices for my family, as well as give me the wisdom I so desperately need.

And that’s where I’m at 12 weeks postpartum!

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Running!

17 Jun

Slowly but surely, my body is getting used to running again. Here are my recent runs:

Grand Rapids – 5/31

grrunI did easy run/walk intervals on a trail near Gunn Park. The running portions were between a 10:30 and 12:30 pace. It was a beautiful day and I saw Minnesota through fresh eyes, since it’s sooo different from Colorado.

20130531_121634 (Large)Dandelions!

20130531_123101 (Large)Lakes!

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Rochester #1 – 6/5

timberidgeThis was another easy-paced run, interspersed with walking breaks whenever I felt like I needed them, on a couple of cul-de-sacs near my parents’ house. My running portions were around a 12:30-13:00 pace.

I couldn’t get over how lush and green everything is. The lawns look like they’re a golf course!

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Rochester #2 – 6/7

deerwoodI didn’t have a ton of time for this run, so I decided to make the most of it and do some speedwork. I still did run/walk intervals but the running portions of this run were between 8:50 – 9:50. The Map My Run app says I got up to a 7:45 pace but I’m not sure I believe that.

First Run with Jogging Stroller! – 6/13

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Emma’s pediatrician okayed me running with her in the jogging stroller since our carseat snaps in. But Emma is still not a huge fan of being in her carseat for anything, so I’m just starting small by taking her for a jaunt around the block. This was a very easy-paced run, but I pushed the stroller with my right hand and shook a rattle with my left to keep Emma from crying. She started to crack after just .3 mile.

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Anderson Park – 6/13

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This was actually in the evening of the day I took Emma out in the jogging stroller and was my best run since pre-pregnancy. I treated it like a tempo run with walking breaks – the running portions were done at paces between 8:30 and 9:30. Granted, they were only for about .1 mile each but still. It was fun to run fast again!

I still haven’t committed to any races but I’m thinking about doing a sprint tri relay with some friends at the end of July (I’d do the running) and I’d love to do a 10K or half marathon in the fall. But Travis will be traveling a lot for work this summer so I’m not sure how much running I’ll be able to do. For now, I’m just thankful for any time I can get back out there!

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Memorial Day in Minnesota

16 Jun

For Memorial Day, Travis, Emma and I flew into Minneapolis and met my parents, brother and sister-in-law for lunch – it was my brother and SIL’s first time meeting Emma. She wasn’t in the greatest mood because she had had a long day of travel and naps being interrupted. We got takeout from Cossetta’s for lunch – I was still doing the non-dairy thing, so I didn’t have much of a selection (but that’s typical for most restaurants). I ended up getting minestrone soup and artichoke salad. It was tasty, but it didn’t fill me up. I think I ate about 5 Larabars that day.

After lunch, Travis, Emma and I headed up to Grand Rapids, where Travis’ parents live. Everyone except Travis’ mom had already gone up to their cabin on Lake Namakan in Voyageurs National Park on the US/Canadian border, but she stayed to go up with us. We stopped about an hour from Grand Rapids to feed Emma, sitting behind a gas station in the minivan we borrowed from my brother – such is the reality of parenthood. We got to Grand Rapids and unloaded our stuff, I fed Emma again and then we all went to bed.

At Travis’ parents’ house, there are 2 bedrooms downstairs. When it was just us down there, we put Emma in one room while we stayed in the other, so that we didn’t hear every little sound she made. But for part of our time there, someone was using the other bedroom so we had Emma in the room with us. Probably the worst part about having her in the same room was that the door on that bedroom is the squeakiest one ever. After putting Emma down a couple of times and her waking up shortly afterward, I asked Travis and his dad to please fix it – which apparently required them to take the door off its hinges and make all kinds of noise while I waited in the dark bathroom with a sleeping Emma.

On Sunday of Memorial Day weekend, Travis, my mother-in-law Beth, Emma and I made the 2 hour drive north to Crane Lake, to Handberg’s Marine where they launch their boats, and pick up/drop off people going to the cabin – the only way to get to their cabin is a 30-minute boat ride. We put all our stuff in the boat, and put Emma in her infant life vest. It was a little big.

IMG_4580 (Large)Don’t worry – we took it off after taking that picture. She wasn’t a fan of having her cheeks squeezed together.

The boat ride there was very uneventful, thanks to Travis’ brother Matthew’s good driving. \

For the next 3 days, we spent a lot of time outside, holding Emma.

IMG_4598 (Large) IMG_4591 (Large) IMG_4596 (Large)The weather on Sunday was really nice, but it was cooler and windy the rest of our time there. I wore pants and a sweatshirt pretty much the whole time, but I also spent most of my time in the shade.

IMG_4604 (Large) IMG_4608 (Large)Even though having a baby meant I spent a lot of time in our room feeding her, I got to go on a boat ride, walk to “Whiskey Point” near their cabin where a bunch of empty booze bottles have collected over the years, play bocce ball, sit around the campfire, and shoot a .22 rifle at pop cans (I missed though). Things are always pretty low-key up at the cabin.

On Wednesday, we made the trip back down to Grand Rapids for the ‘weekend of Matthew’ – his birthday was Thursday, graduation on Friday and open house on Saturday.

We went out to eat for Matthew’s birthday with his girlfriend and girlfriend’s family. Emma fussed a bit at the beginning but Travis got her to sleep and everything went smoothly then. At this point, I was still doing the no-dairy thing and man, it is hard to find stuff in restaurants that don’t have dairy and still sound appetizing. But I made it work. I got a grilled chicken sandwich and fries (At that point, I wasn’t worried about any trace dairy ingredients.)

IMG_4653 (Large)On Friday, I went on a 2 mile run near their house (more on that in a separate post) and then went to Matthew’s graduation that evening.

IMG_4667 (Large) IMG_4702 (Large)Emma got all dressed up, though we quickly discovered how impractical dresses are for little babies.

IMG_4684 (Large)Travis and I were able to stay for the entire ceremony but I did have to put Emma in the Baby Bjorn and stand in the back of the arena. The things we do for babies.

Saturday was the open house. It ended up being cold, rainy and windy, which was a bummer, but it was fun to see some of Travis’ relatives again and have them meet Emma. I had her in the Baby Bjorn again for the first part of the party because she was being fussy and everyone was busy getting stuff ready, but later she got a bottle and others got to hold her.

Sunday morning, Travis, Emma and I drove back down to the Twin Cities because Travis was flying back to Denver and I was meeting up with my parents to go down to Rochester for a week. Emma had a very rough start to the car ride but she finally fell asleep.

IMG_4775 (Large)My time in Rochester was pretty low-key too. My mom and I sat around and talked a lot, played with Emma, watched Scandal (I’m now officially hooked!), organized their basement a bit, and went shopping at the grocery store, Trader Joe’s, and the mall. I also got out on a couple of more runs, which was really nice. AND for Mother’s Day, my awesome mom treated me to a haircut, highlights and some new clothes.

20130608_102409 20130608_102331I finally have mint green jeans! I’ve been wanting some for over a year.

We also tried some new stuff from Trader Joe’s:

20130608_060738It was all delicious. I had forgotten how amazing the Crunchy Cookie Butter is.

So how did Emma do with being away from home for so long? Really well overall. She LOVES being held and there were lots of people willing to do that – so she lived it up but might have gotten a little bit too used to it. She’ll only sleep about 45 minutes in her bassinet for a nap right now. But she still consistently sleeps between 5 and 7 hours for a stretch at night in her bassinet, which is awesome and has helped me feel more human.

And that was our trip to Minnesota!

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Emma: 2 Months

7 Jun

Our little baby Emma is 2 months old today! It’s hard to believe that that much time has gone by already. I go back to work in a month. 😦

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During our Minnesota vacation, Emma has been quite busy! She has:

* Flown on a plane for the first time
* Ridden for 6 hours in the car at once (with stops for nursing)
* Gone boating 3 times, crossing into Canadian waters
* Gone out to dinner at a restaurant
* Attended a high school graduation and open house
* Shopped at Trader Joe’s, the regular grocery store and the Apache Mall
* Gone on a long walk with Grandma K and mommy
* Been bathed 3 times in 3 different tubs/sinks
* Spent lots of time outside at the cabin
* Been held almost all daytime hours by loving relatives
* Drank many bottles of expressed breastmilk

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At 2 months, Emma:

* Gets excited about things she can see, like the mobile on the swing my parents have, people’s faces, and noisy rattles – her little arms and legs really get going!
* Loves to lie on her back and kick or have her legs bicycled
* Smiles often
* Talks when she’s starting to get sleepy
* Is starting to want to be entertained when she’s awake
* Likes getting a bath but not getting out or having lotion put on
* Eats 4-5 oz per feeding, or nurses for 45-60 minutes
* Generally follows an eat-play-sleep routine – she nurses every 3 hours for 45-60 minutes, plays for 30-45 minutes and sleeps for 1-2 hours
* Often nurses every 2 hours in the morning
* Sleeps for 4-6 hours as her longest nighttime stretch

We don’t have Emma’s 2 month pediatrician appointment until next week so I don’t know her growth stats yet, but I’ll post them when I do.

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Minnesota!

25 May

We made it to Minnesota. Emma did great on her first-ever airplane ride. I’ll post details later because we’re heading up to Travis’ family’s cabin near the Canadian border. I have Emma’s 7 week update for tomorrow but after that, I’ll be MIA for a few days. 

Have a great Memorial Day weekend! Thanks to all those who have sacrificed for our freedom.

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6 years

20 May

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Saturday night, Travis and I went on our first date sans Emma to celebrate our 6-year wedding anniversary.

One of our good friends from church watched Emma for four hours while Travis and I went out for sushi at 4:30 in the afternoon, followed by a walk on nearby trails (where the pictures above were taken), Dairy Queen (where I got a Mr. Misty slush since I’m still not eating dairy), looking at guns at Gander Mountain, people watching at a park and buying toilet paper from Walmart (exciting!).

We had a good time and Emma actually did pretty well so we’ll call it a success! Our lives are consumed by her right now so we did talk a lot about Emma but it was nice to touch base on how we’re both handling the life change, commiserate on how hard things have been and share our hopes for the future.

Oh, and I drank my first full glass of wine since last August! I had a Pinot Noir and it was delicious. After I fed Emma when we got home, I had another glass, of Cupcake Cab Sav. But then I felt absolutely horrible for both of the middle-of-the-night feedings. I need to remember to drink more water next time. Ugh!

Anyway, so 6 years. We’ve been together for 8. I’m still not even near the wife I want to be. Even now, the thing I want to ‘get better at’ is the same thing that has caused the majority of the tension in our marriage – expression of physical affection. After getting married, we discovered just how different our styles are. Travis is very playful and I usually end up annoyed and push him away -literally.

One of the things I struggle with the most in marriage is being resentful. I let little things build up into one big glob of disappointment and self-pity and it overflows through resentment and bitterness. For many years, I blamed Travis for our relationship being more roommate-like than lover-like. ‘If he would just stop grabbing me and listen to what I like, things would be different,’ I thought.

But then one day this past year,  my eyes were finally opened to my own fault. How it was my constantly pushing Travis away, even when he tried to do things ‘my way’ with back rubs and simple hugs (minus butt grabs), that really stunted our physical relationship. How could our passion increase if I always shut down any attempt Travis made?

I was very humbled that day. I’d love to say that things improved exponentially from there but unfortunately, it isn’t that easy. I’ve come to accept that this will always be something that I have to die to myself in – instead of demanding the ideal, giving thanks for the reality. Choosing to see the good, instead of ignoring it to focus on the bad.

I’m constantly amazed at Travis’ longsuffering and kindness to me. How he doesn’t get angry at my insensitivity and coldness is beyond me. But I’m thankful that he doesn’t. And I’m thankful that God has given us one more year together to figure out how to, in the words of John Piper, “forge a life together in the furnace of affliction” to the praise of His glory. May there be many more.

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