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Life on repeat

7 Oct

Does anyone else feel like they learn the same lessons over and over and over again? But at the same time, they never actually learn them?

That’s the way I’m feeling. Amazingly, instead of being discouraged, I’m actually encouraged that God is still around, still being patient and reteaching me something I thought I had mastered six months or a year ago.

The last couple of years have revealed two important things about me:

1) I am a perfectionist to the core.

2) I am a pessimist.

It’s not really that surprising that those two things go hand in hand, since things have to be perfect for a perfectionist to be happy. And how often are things perfect?

My point exactly.

I completed Morning #2 of writing (2 for 2!) today and have already encountered a challenge: how to make my “life on repeat” or cyclical problems interesting to readers and not bore them into screaming, “She’s still struggling with that?!?!? I can’t take this anymore!” while they throw my book across the room (or delete it off their Kindle, which would be very less dramatic).

So it is with some risk that I repeat these words from previous blog posts, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take because I seriously am struggling with the same thing again: expecting to be perfect and despairing when I’m not. The reminder is beneficial to me, and I hope, to you.

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From No such thing as perfect 8/24/09

My life will never be perfect. I will never feel like I’m on top of the world and am doing good at this whole Christian thing–at least, I shouldn’t feel that way and I definitely shouldn’t make it my aim to stay there.

Instead of letting my failures and insufficiency cripple me, I should let them humble me and lead me to the cross. Lead me to the One who is sufficient, so I don’t have to be. Lead me to the One who is perfect in my place. Lead me to the place where I can lay my burdens down and remember that “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Feeling like a failure doesn’t have to be a bad thing!! In fact, it can be one of the greatest blessings…because it reminds me that I am nothing without Christ.

Like Paul writes in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, “Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

I can be content with a messy house, piles of laundry and dirty dishes, a long and old TO-DO list, nails that need repainting, eyebrows that need plucking, plants that need watering, cars that need cleaning, books that haven’t been read, lessons that haven’t been learned, and pounds that haven’t been lost. I can be content with everything that makes my life a mess. I can be content with “my” schedule being “derailed” and God’s schedule being followed. I can be content with not being able to see how God is using me, knowing that surely He is doing whatever He pleases with my chaotic, unpredictable, so-not-a-routine kind of life.

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From Imperfect is good enough 12/9/10

{Holiday season is just around the corner!}

I need to let go of this idea that everything has to be perfect. My Christmas decorations can have a quirky doesn’t-quite-go-together kind of feel. I can do the exercises at the gym that I know how to do instead of following the newest “Bikini Body in 28 Days!” routine that involves twisting, pulling, jumping, and screaming (that might just be my version). I can read a few pages of a book before falling asleep at night. I can let the dishes pile up in the sink and do them tomorrow.

At the core of all of this is a belief that God is the one who has everything under control. He is the one who makes it all happen, not me. It is also believing that these things I have decided that I “have to do” don’t add or subtract anything to His love for me. He loves me the most He ever will right now, because He loves me with the same love with which He loves His Son, Jesus. Did you know that it actually says that in the Bible? John 17:23 says …”that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me.” That’s amazing.

It is Christ’s perfection that frees us to be imperfect, to be human, to not have it all together. That doesn’t mean we don’t try to do our best. It means we don’t get discouraged by failure or depressed by overwhelming odds. But we should walk through this victorious, knowing that “steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the Lord.” How I need so desperately to believe that truth in this season of my life! It is so easy to let these slight and momentary afflictions take my eyes off God and His sovereign goodness. But I mustn’t. I must keep looking to Him, trusting in Him, resting in Him. “I lift my eyes to the hills; where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth.”

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My last (planned) race of the season is this Sunday! I am excited to not have any more races (which means more free weekends) and I’m also excited to start another training plan (which is good because I’m in for the long haul now). And then, drumroll please… only one more weekend with something planned (elk hunting) and it’s free weekends from then on! Woohoo!

Better yet, we might get out of going back to Minnesota for Thanksgiving and Christmas (although we might go early December instead for Matthew’s Eagle scout ceremony). I mean, love going back to see family but it is exhausting. It takes me weeks to recover from those trips. So I will only be slightly sad if we don’t go back. Plus, I really enjoyed celebrating Christmas just me and Travis last year. Right now, anything relaxing sounds like heaven.

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A Morning Routine.

6 Oct

Last weekend, when I was going through all my old files at my parents’ house, I came across novels I had written in junior high and high school and a sheet that said my life goal was to publish novels. Seems I’ve  known for a while that I wanted to be an author someday…

I realized a while ago that I just need to buckle down and write already. I just have to put my nose to the grindstone and get ‘er done.

I had actually forgotten about my BHAG of finishing my book by the end of this year. Whoops. It might still happen. But it might not. I’m not going to get rid of that goal completely, but I’m making it more concrete by shooting for writing for 45 minutes, 5 days a week. 

So I am going to implement a new morning routine (bet you haven’t heard that before!). I am going to get up at 5:30 and after feeding the dogs and eating breakfast, get in the Word from 5:45 to 6:30, then write from 6:30 to 7:15. After that, I will resume my regular morning duties, such as showering and making a lunch. All workouts will be pushed until during lunch or after work. So far, I’m 1 for 1! It feels good to be productive in the morning and be able to relax with God and the Bible before heading to work.

And I’ll just leave you with this hilarious pic:

 

 

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Minnesotan Nostalgia.

4 Oct

I’m back to work today after my wonderful (too short!) trip to Minnesota.

My flight out Thursday night was uneventful and I arrived in Minnesota at 10:30. My parents and oldest brother, Jeremy, and his wife, Jennifer, picked me up from the airport and we drove down to Rochester (where I grew up). After talking a bit, we all called it a night around 1:00 am.

We spent the first part of Friday eating breakfast, getting wedding and baby gifts together, and I went through a bunch of stuff I had stored in my old closet before going to college. I threw away a bunch of stuff – old pictures, old notes, old boyfriend memories, etc. I am not a keeper. If I don’t think I’ll actually use it or look at it, I toss it. Done!

After some frantic rushing due to a car malfunction, we made our way up to Minneapolis for the rehearsal and groom’s dinner – my mom was a reader and my brother was an usher in the wedding. We were about 20 minutes late to the rehearsal because of traffic but other people showed up late as well so all was well. After we checked in to our hotel and I changed, we headed over to the rehearsal dinner at Loring Kitchen + Bar. It was a great time – perhaps because it was an open bar and I probably had the equivalent of 4 glasses of wine (they kept refilling it before it got empty so it was hard to keep track). We returned to the hotel and went to bed around 11:30.

We stayed downtown at The Hotel Minneapolis. The cousin of mine that was getting married is actually part owner of the hotel and was involved in the development of the hotel. We got to see the inside when it was just an empty space with carpeting over the gorgeous marble floors!

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Before going to bed on Friday, I discovered St. Anthony Main was only 3 blocks away and I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to go for a run on my old stomping grounds. So many memories!

The trails I used to run on.

The lab Travis worked at.

The Panera we ate at every Sunday morning.

The building I lived in my junior year of college.

Ahhh… Minnesota.

Even though it was only 47 degrees out and I had only brought a t-shirt and shorts to run in, and I could tell I had drank a bit too much the night before, and I didn’t have anything to eat beforehand, I enjoyed every minute of that run. And I finally got to take advantage of the lower elevation without humidity! I ran 3.93 miles in 39:05 – a 9:57/mile pace. Heck yes!

We went out for brunch at Key’s Grill & Bar (delicous cinnamon french toast!) and then it was time for the wedding. Josh and Laura got married at The Basilica of St. Mary. This cathedral is gorgeous.

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Their ceremony was a very traditional Catholic one and was very nice. I’m not generally a fan of Catholic homilies but it’s not my wedding.

After the ceremony, we went back to the hotel (where the reception also was) and ate some snacks in my cousin Colleen’s room (she’s actually only 9 months younger than my mom so it’s weird to call her my cousin). Then we headed over to Nicollet Mall to walk around and look at the shops. I had only brought 2 pairs of boots with heels + my casual slip-on sneakers (which would’ve looked very weird with my wedding outfit) so my feet were very unhappy by the time we were done walking around.

When we got back, the wedding reception had started. We retrieved our gifts and headed downstairs to the open bar. I had a “Laura’s signature cocktail” made with black cherry vodka, ginger ale and some other stuff, plus two glasses of wine. The cocktail hour was held in the lounge area of the hotel and the dinner was in the restaurant – perfect space for a wedding reception if you can swing it!

At dinner, I got to sit with all my brothers, 2 sisters-in-law, my cousin-in-law, and my brother’s and cousin’s girlfriends. Fun! Everyone missed Travis and wondered where he was. I wished he could have been there too but when you live 1,000 miles away, you miss out on a lot of things. I was just thankful that I could make it.

Since my dancing partner was missing and no one else from our group seemed particularly interested in dancing, I didn’t dance at all. We just sat around talking until we all went to bed around 11:30. I actually went to bed before my parents! I felt like such a loser. But when I get exhausted and want to go to bed, I am absolutely worthless so it’s no use trying to stay up.

Sunday morning, I got up early again to do 20 minutes on the elliptical + some strength training in the hotel gym. Then we went to breakfast at Bruegger’s Bagels where I had an egg + cheese on a pumpkin bagel (not as gross as it sounds) and a pumpkin coffee. I miss Bruegger’s. (Although I have to admit that Panera’s breakfast sandwiches are way better because they use real eggs, not egg patties.) And then we went to church at Bethlehem Baptist! It was so fun to be back there, even though I didn’t see/get to talk to anyone I knew. Piper’s sermon on sharing yourself with others was great – you can listen to it here.

After church, we hightailed it over to Roseville to pick up the food for the baby shower and then hightailed it back downtown Minneapolis to Colle + McVoy where my brother, Chris, works. They have a cafeteria space that people often use for wedding receptions and parties and it was perfect! Best part, it was free. We were running about 30 minutes late but luckily, so was everyone else! We ate a bunch of food, played some games, and opened gifts. It was a great time (I don’t have pictures yet, but when I do, I’ll post them – my SIL is so cute with her baby bump!)

The shower was only supposed to last until 2 but we didn’t leave there until 5! After we cleaned up and loaded the car, we drove back down to Rochester. We ate some burgers and fries at Newt’s and then got the tour of all the new additions/renovations around Rochester. I really think Rochester is a nice town. If I didn’t have this weird thing about not wanting to move back to the town I grew up in (and if Travis didn’t consider southern MN to be only one notch above Iowa), I would be tempted to move there. It’s changed a lot since I was in high school (for the better). Back at the house, we looked at old pictures of Jeremy until it was 10:45 and time for bed!

Monday morning, Jeremy and Jen took off after breakfast. After I packed up, showered and went through some more old stuff, my dad, mom and I went out to lunch at a new restaurant called Pi Pizza. I had a veggie pizza with red onions, sweet corn, green peppers, tomatoes and goat cheese. It was so good that I ate the entire thing!

Then my dad headed to work and my mom and I went on a walk around Silver Lake, looked at the U of M’s Rochester campus downtown and had some Italian gelato. I ate so many sweets this weekend! (And it hasn’t ended because I ate a cookie after lunch today. But no more! Time to get back on a normal eating schedule/diet.)

At 3:00, it was time to head to the airport and by 4:30, I was inside the airport, waiting at the gate for my flight that didn’t leave until 7:30! I had gotten the time change mixed up and thought my flight left at 6:30. I bought a newspaper, read every article I was remotely interested in, and then did the crossword. Then I got a sandwich and a latte, called Travis, and read some posts on Google Reader. Finally, my flight was boarding.

As we took off, I looked out on the lights of the Cities and was sad to be leaving. For some reason, Minnesota just feels like home. Bugs, snow and humidity notwithstanding, I love Minnesota. And even though we enjoy Colorado and have great friends, a great church and good jobs, it just doesn’t compare.

I can’t wait to move back!

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My body is not who I am.

1 Oct

 

Last Tuesday, I went to the second meeting of our women’s book study at church. The study I chose is Love to Eat, Hate to Eat by Elyse Fitzpatrick. Even though I had found peace with food back in December of 2009 and I like to think that I have healthy eating all figured out, food and body image are still a struggle for me, and have been for a while.

It started the summer after I graduated from high school. I was bored because I only worked 20 hours, my boyfriend was gone for the summer and all my friends were busy. So to pass the time, I started exercising intentionally and counting calories for the first time in my life.

I took a detour my freshman year of college, when I became a pothead and gained 20 lbs from the munchies. By my sophomore year, I was back down to my previous weight, but more obsessed about diet and exercise than ever.

After becoming a Christian the summer after my sophomore year, things got better but this struggle continued to be a roller coaster.

I tried to dethrone my idol of thinness in 2008.

I swore off counting calories in 2009.

I talked about accepting my body shape in 2010.

I thought I had discovered the solution to emotional eating in March of this year.

But here I am, still struggling. That’s why I signed up for the book study. In all the years of my dealing with this, I had never talked to another Christian woman about it. I advocate vulnerability and transparency in all areas of life. I have been very open in talking about my life before I became a Christian and the body struggles I had then. But I have always conveniently glossed over my current trials.

Because I’m ashamed. This is an ugly sin. It’s judgmental and critical and harsh and unforgiving. It makes me feel superior to some and inferior to others. I have really good days when I think, “Oh, I must be over that struggle.” And then there are bad days when I think, “I’m so fat and disgusting and I feel like a blob.” Then there are days when I wake up and feel good about what I see in the mirror but after eating a little too much at dinner, I swear to never eat again.

I have tried almost everything I can think of to conquer this demon. I’ve reminded myself of truth – that God created me this way and I’m beautiful to Him. I’ve tried to be inspired by other women who are confident in less-than-perfect figures. I’ve ditched the clothes that make me figure-conscious and instead donned clothes that I can feel comfortable in. I’ve traded in my bikini for a tankini. I’ve sworn off sweets for months at a time. I’ve sworn off having rules about eating at all.

And here I still am.

I think this book study will be good for me. I know God wants to change this area of my life (because it is nas-tay) and I have long been trying to fix it myself (like I always do). I think it will not only be good to have other women to talk to about this, but also to have a meeting every two weeks to keep my mind focused on this. And this time, I am not expecting any quick fixes. I am not expecting this problem to be solved overnight, or for me to able to remind myself of truth one morning and have my struggles vanish into thin air. This will take time. This will being reminded of truth over and over and over and over…

The truth that is helping me refocus right now came from John Piper’s sermon called Staying Married is Not About Staying in Love Part 2: Our bodies do not represent who we really are. All along, I have been operating under the purview that I am only as good as I look.

But that’s not the truth – about me or any other person. The truth is that our bodies don’t have the glory they were supposed to have. We lost that glory in the fall. These imperfect bodies remind us that God will someday give us new bodies – bodies that are perfect and beautiful and free of sin. These bodies are vessels that house our souls, which cannot be seen but are precious.

“Let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:4).

Trials in our lives remind us that we don’t belong on earth and someday, we will be with Christ in perfect joy. In the same way, imperfect bodies can remind us that we will be glorified one day – but not today, and not here. Instead of chasing peace and perfection on earth, I can let these trials redirect my gaze to the greater reality of heaven and a new body.

I’m sure this is just the tip of the eating/body issue iceberg so there will be more to come.

What truth helps you accept your body the way it is?

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Off to Minnesota!

29 Sep

I’m so excited to be flying back to Minnesota today. The biggest reason is to see my family at my cousin’s wedding and my sister-in-law’s baby shower. But I’m also excited about the (more) real fall weather that they’re having.

It’s still warmer than I’d like, but it’s better than Denver! Yesterday, it was 90 degrees here. Blah. And although today’s high is only 68, the temperatures are supposed to get back up into the 80s again over the weekend. Quit it Mother Nature! I’ve already put away my flip flops, put our comforter back on our bed, and lit the pumpkin candles. No more harking back to those bygone summer days – it’s time to be fall for real.

This is fall. {source}

Anyway, I almost got everything done that I wanted to before leaving. Tuesday night, I made chocolate chip banana bread while Travis grilled dinner (both turned out delicious!). Then I did the dishes, finished the laundry and got out the outfits I knew I was bringing to Minnesota for the wedding, the groom’s dinner and the baby shower. I came home from my book study to find that Travis had read my blog and cleaned the bathrooms for me. What a sweet husband! I LOVE it when he does things like that for me. Such a load off. So with that, I was able to go to bed and finish reading Managing God’s Money (thoughts to come later). The only thing I didn’t get done was go to Walmart to buy cards, coffee and face lotion. But no biggie. (For me, at least. Travis will probably go berserk when he discovers the coffee is gone.)

Yesterday morning, I got up early again to go run repeats on the track at the gym. Besides one other time when I ran half-mile repeats, this was my first real track workout. The other times that I’ve done speedwork, I’ve either done tempo runs, done .1 mile sprints, or ran fartleks outside using trees as my measurements. It was a great workout – very challenging. I ran 8 x 400 – 400 was 2.5 laps around the track. I did the first 400 in 1:55 but I knew that I couldn’t do another 7 at that pace. So I slowed it down a bit and ran the others anywhere from 2:05 to 2:15. Based on the McMillan Running Calculator using my most recent 10K time, I should be running 400s in 2:05. So I was right on pace!

Since my speed work usually consists of me going as fast as I possibly can for only 1 lap around the track, I found it a little bit of a challenge to gauge how fast I could go for 2.5 laps without either slowing down at the end of the repeat or getting so tired during the first repeats that I couldn’t do the last repeats. I think I did ok for my first time but there is definitely room for improvement.

I also made sure to stretch really well before heading home.

This morning, I went swimming. The pool was abnormally busy for the early morning but I was able to have my own lane for the majority of my workout. I swam my good ole trusty pyramid – 100, 200, 300, 200, 200 (I added an extra 100 on to the last one because I couldn’t stand swimming 900 and not 1,000). I swam about 65% front crawl and 35% breaststroke. I think I’m going to try to learn to breathe every other stroke during the front crawl – maybe that will help me swim faster? Even if it doesn’t, it will keep me distracted during my swims and get my heart rate elevated higher than just a normal swim.

Since we’ll be staying at a hotel in the Cities this weekend, I’m hoping to get a few workouts in but we’ll see. I’m not a workout nazi and would rather spend time with my family so if it doesn’t fit in our schedules, it doesn’t fit. Plus, I had planned on these days being rest days so if I do exercise, I get bonus points.

I’m very proud of my packing job for this trip – I fit 2 outfits per day + running clothes + running shoes + 2 pairs of dressy boots + hairdryer + straightener in my carry-on suitcase. I was apprehensive if I could make it work but I did! I always show my suitcase to Travis like a little kid – look at what I did! – because he always makes fun of me for bringing back our ginormous suitcase (with only my stuff in it) for Christmas vacation. I tell him that it’s because I bring my winter sweaters along and they take up a lot of space. I’m not sure he buys it.

Are you a light packer or an everything-but-the-kitchen-sink packer? Do you carry on or check your bags when you fly? 

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Back on the Workout Wagon.

27 Sep

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I run across this bridge almost every run I go on (they do allow bikes on the bridge, just not in the river).

Last night, I had been planning on doing yoga when I got home from work but since it was my only free night this week (tonight I have book study, tomorrow is care group and Thursday I fly to MN), I decided to do my “long run” of 5 miles.

It was low 80s and sunny but since it’s not humid out here in CO, it actually felt really nice outside. I took the pooches out for the first 1.5 miles, then dropped them at home, and ran another 3.5 (crossing the bridge above). My legs felt great – strong, stable. I felt like I was cruising! My first mile of the last 3.5 was at a 10:50 pace and I swear there was another 10:30 mile in there somewhere (according to my math-while-running) but my pace came out at 11:23/mile for the whole run (58:39 for 5.15 miles).

I have to admit, I was more than slightly disappointed. I think even shooting for an 11:00/mile pace for this half marathon relay is going to be a stretch. Has my 10:00/mile pace vanished forever? What once seemed slow now seems so fast that it’s out of reach. Hmph. I am not a fan of getting older. Hopefully once I start doing speed work again, my pace will pick back up.

But anyway, with the exception of my disappointing pace, it was actually an excellent run. So there’s that.

I think one of the reason I was so slow last year (consistently running 12:30-12:45 pace) was that I didn’t engage many of my leg muscles when running – like I wasn’t using muscle to propel myself forward but just inertia. Sometimes it seriously felt like I was running in place. Last night, I concentrated on using my muscles to push me forward, even when my legs got tired. It’s kind of hard to explain but you know how when you sprint, you kind of sink down into your legs and don’t do as much vertical movement? It’s like that, only not as intense. Anyway, it makes my legs feel stronger and less achy. My injury last year has made me very distrustful of my legs and knee joints. I just keep thinking that any run, the pain could return. I’m going to try really hard to not let that happen this year!

After my run, I vacuumed, washed laundry (still have to put it away), and did the dishes. We ate the Zesty Black Bean Chili from the crockpot for dinner. While the soup was delicious and I really liked the consistency of the wheat berries, man, that soup was spicy! The recipe called for a can of chipotle peppers in adobo sauce – they definitely cranked up the heat. It was borderline too spicy for me but Travis really enjoyed it. I froze the rest of the soup, so that Travis will have something to eat over the weekend while I’m gone. (Because even though he can cook and grocery shop, he refuses to.)

This morning, I finally got up when my alarm went off at 5:30, instead of hitting the snooze or resetting it for a later time. I did 60 minutes of Yoga X (the video that made me so sore last week) and was pleasantly surprised that after 45 minutes of pretty intense Vinyasa yoga, they go into doing balance poses – which although still challenging, don’t make me sweat like a man. I think I could do all 90 minutes if I ever have the time. But don’t worry – I still got my butt kicked today. I am so pathetically inflexible right now! In future triathlon seasons, I must find a way to fit yoga into my routine. It sucks having to gain back all the flexibility I lost since April.

I was nervous about being incredibly sore again tomorrow, so after I showered, I put Biofreeze on the parts that had been sore before – my hamstrings and biceps. I got several free samples from races this summer but had yet to try it. Holy cow that stuff is intense! It felt like I had sat in the snow for 10 minutes, then gone into a hot tub. Not painful, just…well, for lack of a better word, freezing. I put my clothes on and it felt like the back of my pants and sleeves were wet. So weird. Luckily, the feeling went away after 25 minutes or so. We’ll see if it was worth it tomorrow morning!

On the docket for tonight:

  • Finish laundry
  • Make banana bread while Travis grills dinner (brats, potatoes, and zucchini)
  • Book study
  • Pack for MN
  • Clean bathrooms (if I have time/energy)

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It’s amazing what you can accomplish…

26 Sep

…when you don’t workout!

My weekend was lovely and productive. But I didn’t do a single workout – unless you count walking my pooches and watching them smear their poop all over Wheat Ridge sidewalks.

Friday night, I finally repainted my toenails while watching Parenthood – love that show! I went to bed around 9:30 (I don’t even feel the need to justify that) and read for a while while Travis played hockey.

Saturday, we got up bright and early for coffee with Cathy (me) and The Forge at church (Travis). Then we went home and while Travis watched football, I made my grocery list and went grocery shopping.

On the menu for this week:

The Zesty Chili is cooking in my crock pot right now.
With my refrigerator and shelves fully stocked, I set to making zucchini bread and muffins with one of our last zucchinis (single tear! not really – we’re kind of burned out on zucchini) and this gooey deliciousness for our care group BBQ on Sunday.

While my bread and muffins baked, I did the massive quantity of dishes that baking always produces, walked the pooches, and got ready for our date night: Yogurtland + Cheap Seats. Woohoo! The date literally cost us $13.

I got Mango Pineapple + Coconut + Peach and topped with a little bit of: kiwi, raspberries, pineapple, gummy bears, and cheesecake squares. Mmmmm… Travis had never been to Yogurtland before. As he was eating his delicious concoction, he said, “I understand what all the rage is about now.”

{Apologies for the bad pic.}

After Yogurtland, we saw Captain America for $7 total. It blows my mind that two people can see a movie at the discount theater for less than the price of one ticket at the main theater. Yay for discount theaters! (If this one ever goes out of business, I will be seriously sad.) The movie was great. As much as my sophisticated taste thought I would hate all of the Marvel Comic movies, I have to admit that I have loved each of them (I have seen Thor, both Iron Man 1 and 2 and now Captain America). The only one I haven’t seen is The Hulk – which I guess I’ll have to remedy before The Avengers comes out next May.

Sunday, we went to church and then bought a baby gift for my nephew, due in January! I bought 3 items from their registry, plus one fun thing (that I will mention later in case my sister-in-law happens to read this). Still very hard to believe that I am going to be an aunt. (I guess technically, I already am an aunt since Travis has a nephew but it feels weird to call myself his aunt…)

Then I finally tackled our messy office. It went from this:

To this:

Organization – welcome back.

I also downloaded all of our pictures from our camera onto our computer and deleted them off our camera, printed out our confirmation emails for the Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon Relay, and sent pictures of Charlie to the vet who rescued her.

By 3:30, it was time to leave for our care group BBQ. I didn’t take any pics (stupid!) but a fun time (and LOTS of good food!) was had by all. I ended up feeling a little sick to my stomach by the end of the party so when I got home, I changed clothes and spent the rest of the evening on the couch (instead of cleaning and baking like I had hoped). Oh well. I watched the season finale of Drop Dead Diva (my #2 favorite show ever, after Bones) and the season premiere of Desperate Housewives – which was “eh.”

Things I wanted to get done that I didn’t (and need to before leaving for MN on Thursday night!!):

1. Vacuum. Dog hair is everywhere!

2. Laundry. Overflowing.

3. More baking. Specifically chocolate chip banana bread and pumpkin bread. Mmmm…

I also need to work out every day this week (since I will probably be taking off 4 days back in MN). I’m thinking a couple of runs, some yoga, and some time on the bike. We’ll see…

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Sickness + Sore Muscles = Suck

23 Sep

Yesterday, after typing up my marathon training plan, I was all gung-ho to get back on the exercise horse. So I ran to the Rec (3.15 miles round trip) and did 30 minutes of intervals on the elliptical while I was there. I kept an eye on my heart rate but I was so tired and sluggish that my problem wasn’t keeping my heart rate low enough, but getting it high enough. My run was at a 11:50/mile pace but it felt a lot slower.

I did the first 30 minutes of Yoga X (from P90X) on Tuesday morning and I am just now getting over the soreness. And it was weird soreness – the front of my biceps and my hamstrings. Weird. My arms were still so sore yesterday that they hurt while I was running. It always amazes me how the human body adapts to exercises. I can do an Olympic triathlon and hardly be sore at all but I do 30 measly minutes of yoga and I can barely walk. What’s up with that? Anyway, I also had high aspirations to do strength training last night but after 15 lunges on each leg, discovered that my legs were completely shot.

Then during the night, Charlie woke up at 3 am and started whining and banging around in her crate. I either have the world’s best hearing or have a mother’s sixth sense because I can hear Charlie over a fan and through a closed door. Grrrrr… I got up once and told her to stop whining. She kept doing it. Travis was moving around a little then so I asked him if he thought she had to poop and if I should let her out. He said “Maybe” and “Probably” and then very chivalrously offered to let her out himself. As he stumbled over to the closet to find some shorts and rummaged around for 30 seconds, I told him I might as well do it since I was already wide awake and was fully clothed. So he went back to bed.

Charlie did have to go. As I put her back in her crate and went back to bed, I thought about how our relationship with Katy is so different from ours with Charlie. Katy is very predictable and always has been. So if she pooped or puked inside the house, you knew there was something wrong – it was so out of character for her. But Charlie has seriously been (to use Winston Churchill’s description of Christopher Columbus that I learned in college) “a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma.” We have not been able to figure her out. There is no predicting what she will or will not do.

But I feel like we’re making very slow progress with this. This morning, when I sitting at the kitchen table eating breakfast, Charlie went over and sniffed at the laundry room door (the way they get outside). I let her out and she went and did her thing. Yay! She didn’t poop inside! Progress!

The downside of getting up to let her out was that I couldn’t get back to sleep for the life of me. I think I finally fell back asleep around 4:30. I don’t know why but when I go to bed, I don’t have any trouble falling asleep. But when I try to fall back asleep in the wee hours of the morning, I always have tons of thoughts running through my head – about work, what I’m going to wear, what I’m going to have for breakfast, if I should work out in the morning or wait until after work, what I’m going to bring for lunch, etc. This stuff does NOT need to be decided at 4 am!

"Yeah, I'm a lot of work."

Needless to say, working out this morning did not happen. I actually didn’t get up until 7:30! Katy started doing her low groaning thing in our bedroom around 6:30 because she wanted to be fed. So I got up, fed them, put Charlie back in her crate and went back to bed. But I just laid there, psyching myself out, paranoid that they were whining. Bah! So I got back up at 7, put them in the backyard (with Charlie on a cable so she couldn’t jump over the fence like she does all the time now), and went back to bed for another 30 minutes. Again, no sleep. Just too lazy to actually stay out of bed. I think I’m understanding my husband more these days…

And on top of everything, I woke up feeling more sick than I did yesterday. This cold is tougher to kick than I thought! So I guess I should ease off and do some more yoga and easy cardio.

I’m feeling very relieved that I only have to run 5 miles in the half marathon relay! And that today is Friday! Our weekend is pretty open so far – I’m having coffee with my friend Cathy tomorrow and then we’re having a “last of the summer” care group BBQ on Sunday afternoon. My only goal is to get our office cleaned up. That has been my dumping ground for the last 4 months and it shows!

Do you have any plans for the weekend?

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Marathon in 2012

22 Sep

Marathon Training Plan

So remember when I said I was excited to not have a training plan since triathlon season is over?

Well, that’s not really going to happen.

You see, I want to run this little thing they call a marathon in May 2012 (I’m eyeing the Stillwater Marathon in MN, which should be the last weekend of May). While I had been {stupidly} thinking that I could sit on my butt until January rolled around and then start a training plan, almost every website and person I’ve talked to has said that I need to be running 15-25 miles per week before I even start the training program. And since I’m not the world’s smartest runner, I guess I’ll trust them…

Since I’ve been training for triathlons and not concentrating on running, my weekly mileage has been somewhere in the single digits. Paltry. All of this means that to avoid injury, my marathon base building starts right after the Denver Rock ‘n’ Roll Half Marathon Relay. Real marathon training starts on January 23.

To be honest, I’m kind of excited. Marathon, here I come! You will not evade me in 2012!

But since I have really missed doing yoga, pilates, the elliptical, and yes, even weight-lifting, my base-building plan includes 2 days of cross-training and strength training, 3 days of running (1 regular, 1 speed, 1 long), and 2 days of rest.

Base Training Plan

I think I can handle that.

For my marathon training plan, I used Hal Higdon’s Novice 1 Plan but I might sub out the runs on Monday for the same amount of cross-training, depending on how I feel. I think coming up with training plans is so stressful. I’m wary of running 4 days a week because I got injured last year from over-training. But if I don’t add in that extra day, my mileage won’t be that high. I decided to put the run on the schedule and will play it by ear whether that day should be an easy run or cross-training.

Like I have mentioned before, I am going to do things differently this year for marathon training. Last year, I signed up for the full Malibu marathon but ended up running the half because my IT band flared up. So as you will note on my training plan this time around, I will strength train. I will do speed work. I will stretch. I will cross-train (mostly on the bike and in the pool).

I posted these plans on my new marathon page for future reference.

I have discovered one more thing that I think will help me a lot:

Heart rate training.

I bought a heart rate monitor back in 2009 when I was training for my first triathlon. But I don’t use it like you’re supposed to. I only wear it to time my workouts and know how many calories I burned. And sometimes I like to look at my heart rate for fun.

Well, since things have slowed down at work and I just read the SELF cover story featuring Lauren Graham, I’ve been doing a little research about why staying in your aerobic zone is so beneficial. Here’s what I found:

The more work you perform aerobically, or in the presence of oxygen, the more efficient you are. Prolonged aerobic training produces muscular adaptations that improves oxygen transport to the muscles, reduces the rate of lactate formation, improves the rate of lactate removal, and increases energy production and utilization. These adaptations occur slowly over time.

So why haven’t I been doing this? I asked myself.

The hard part of base training is having the discipline to train at these low intensities. It may mean running very slowly or even walking. It may mean separating from your training group in order to pursue your individual goals. It also means avoiding the contest of egos that group training often turns into. If you can find a training partner with similar goals and fitness level you may be able to train with them, but more often than not what I see is a base work gone awry. Even spending short amounts of time above your aerobic zone degrades the work out.

The area between the top of the aerobic threshold and anaerobic threshold is somewhat of a no mans land of fitness. It is a mix of aerobic and anaerobic states. For the amount of effort the athlete puts forth, not a whole lot of fitness is produced. It does not train the aerobic or anaerobic energy system to a high degree. This area does have its place in training; it is just not in base season. Unfortunately this area is where I find a lot of athletes spending the majority of their seasons, which retards aerobic development. The athletes heart rate shoots up to this zone with little power or speed being produced when it gets there. {source}

Hmmmm… so you’re saying that I’m such a slow runner because I’ve been refusing to say in my aerobic zone? You mean I have to slow down to get faster? I can do that.

Based on a few different calculators I found for Maximum Heart Rate (MHR), mine seems to be somewhere around 195. That means my Aerobic Zone is somewhere around 157 – 171. My heart rate is usually around 160-165 during a regular run, so that’s good.  Easy recovery runs are supposed to be done in the Fat Burning Zone: 143 – 157 beats per minute. I hardly ever do runs that slow.

I hope this knowledge impacts the way I train – so that I can make sure to not overdo things and see the benefits promised by aerobic training. And if it doesn’t, oh well. I’m just doomed to be slow.

I would, however, like to keep up the pace I have been running (11 min/mile) and possibly even improve that. I think the strength and cross training are going to be key.

Now I just need to find the motivation to finish my training plan for this blasted half marathon relay! We found out that it’s not split into two 10Ks – the first leg is 7.8 miles, the second is 5.3. So Travis decided to do the first leg. I can’t lie – I’m relieved. It’s not that I’m sick of training – it’s that I’m sick of trying to balance everything and constantly strategize about when to fit workouts in. I have so much other stuff that I want to (and have to) be doing! (What really should go is this job thing. 😉 ) But I’ve been thinking – working out is not only important because of my athletic aspirations, it’s also important because it keeps me healthy and enables me to keep up with the other areas of my life. So behind God, my husband and church (oh and work), exercising has to be a priority. No matter what else doesn’t get done.   

Any advice for me on my marathon training?

Do you pay attention to your heart rate during training?

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No excuses.

20 Sep

I’ve been noticing something lately: I hold Travis to the ridiculous, unrealistic standards that I hold myself to.

This isn’t exactly a news flash.

But it is something that I’ve been seeing with new eyes.

I’ve noticed it mainly in regards to the triathlon Travis just did. Over the months leading up to it, I was tempted to (and honestly, sometimes did) nag Travis about training. In my head, you just follow the plan. Not brain science.

I chalked Travis not following the plan up to his being lazy. Or indifferent. Or silently wishing he hadn’t been talked into doing a race.

Surely he doesn’t have a good excuse.

Now, I am reminded that he is working full-time and getting his Master’s. Oh and his job shipped him out to Timbuktu Utah to do God-knows-what (which they’re talking about again, if you can believe that!) for a couple weeks. Then there’s that little thing called a house, the yard I look at through my window, the car I drive to work every day, those things happening at church, and that thing called hockey that always happens after I’m in bed. Oh and bills.

He might be a tad busy.

You see, Travis did get distracted from training. He did allow other things to get in the way. But they were things like fixing our car himself to save us $600. And shooting us two antelope so we won’t starve during the long, cold winter. And refinancing our mortgage to save us money.

I want to say, “There’s no excuse. You didn’t follow the training plan and that’s all there is to it.”

But I really should say, “You were busy. You have a lot going on. It’s totally understandable. And you did a fantastic job anyway!”

Here’s what I actually said: “You should go disqualify yourself from the results.”

Let me explain: Minutes after I crossed the finish line on Saturday, Travis informed me that he “had run the entire run course on the road.” Since the run course was mostly on a sidewalk or trail, I assumed Travis had run the wrong course. How would he know if the course he ran was 3.1 miles? He wouldn’t. Ergo, he should disqualify himself.

What he really meant was that instead of going back up on the trail at the end of the run, he accidentally just stayed on the road until it met up with that trail. It was pretty much the same distance either way. Oh.

Needless to say, Travis’ enthusiasm was completely deflated with my no-nonsense response. Poor guy. Here he is, just completed his first triathlon and I tell him to go disqualify himself. It was a misunderstanding, I swear!!

Anyway, that whole situation has shown me that I hold Travis to unrealistic standards. Like when he gets sick and wants to just lay on the couch. My natural inclination is to say, “Oh quit being a whiny baby. You’re not that sick.”

Or when Travis remarks to me that 3 minutes is pretty good for his first transition and I reply, “Well, a good T1 is actually only 2 minutes.”

Men aren’t the only ones who say stupid things without thinking.

Because I expect too much of Travis, I hardly ever encourage him – I’m too busy fixating on what he hasn’t done or hasn’t done well enough.

In reality, he does a lot of most things right. He deserves more credit than I give him.

So I’m going to try to let go of my expectations, have faith in Travis’ abilities, and look for the things he does right. I think he’d appreciate that.

 

 

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