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Dustin’ off my running shoes

19 Aug

Ever since we went on vacation in early-to-mid July, I haven’t been exercising much. As in only 3 times in the past month. It’s crazy how time flies! I kept telling myself “Tomorrow I’ll start again.” “Next week I’ll start again.” Then all of a sudden, it was a month later and I have nothing to show for it.

But I’m okay with that. We’ve been really busy with work, moving, unpacking, decorating, watching the Olympics (they only come around every 4 years you know!). But lucky for me, when I get busy, I don’t eat as much. Eating is more of an inconvenience–I am really hungry so I have to eat but I’d really rather just get down everything I have to do. That’s my personality–I hate stopping in the middle of things. Even if it’s a task I loathe and it’s mind-numbing, I will sit there patiently, meting out my time minute by minute, until it’s done. When it comes to food and exercise, though, it means that I don’t gain weight even if I stop exercising (but ONLY if I’m really busy! Other times, it doesn’t work like that.)

So I started exercising again this week. Yesterday morning, I got up and did one of my new workout videos–called Super Slimdown with Ellen Barrett. It’s a combination of yoga and pilates. It was a fun workout and boy did my arms feel it today!

Tonight, Trav and I are going to go on a run. The first run I’ve done in weeks. I have no idea how it’ll go but here’s hoping.

Ever since I completed that half marathon back in May, I’ve been kind of here and there on my exercise routine. I tried to balance it out but it wasn’t exact. So now I have developed a routine. Mon, Wed, Fri, I’m going to do yoga/pilates. Tues, Thurs, Sat (so I can do longer runs on the weekend), I’m going to run. Sat I’m going to do full body weight lifting as well. And Sunday will be my glorious day off (so I can take my 2-hour Sunday afternoon nap without feeling the slightest bit guilty!!)

Now comes the hardest part: sticking with it. 🙂

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My little bro’s wedding

15 Aug

He did it–he finally got married. And to his high school sweetheart no less. He was the one I always told “You’re never going to get married!” because he was glued to his computer chair in front of his computer screen every waking moment during high school that he wasn’t actually at school. But somehow Meg saw through that pathetic exterior to the kind-hearted, intelligent, witty guy my little brother really is. (And he’s gotten a lot cooler over the past 4 years as well–college did wonders for him).

As I stood up with the wedding party during the ceremony and watched Chris smile at Meg, full of love and excitement, I couldn’t help but think back to my oldest brother’s wedding 2 years ago. Back then, I knew that I wanted to marry Travis but we weren’t even engaged and I don’t think I quite understood the beauty and complexity of the pledge they were making to each other in that moment. I was moved far more during Chris and Meg’s wedding, not because they had a better officiant, music, or readings–Jeremy and Jen had a very lovely wedding as well (and I ALMOST cried at their wedding but I held it off!)–but because my understanding is greater. I have an inside appreciation and respect for the marriage commitment and lifelong intimacy–and I’ve only been married for a little over a year! I can’t imagine what it must be like for those married 25, 35, even 50 years (like my aunt and uncle will celebrate this fall).

I also prayed for Chris and Meg as I stood there. Marriage is a blessing but it’s also a challenge. And I really believe that the only way any of us don’t get divorced–or even seriously think about it–is by the grace of God. We don’t have love naturally as humans. Rather, we are naturally selfish, petty, and angry. And marriage has this uncanny ability to bring out the natural side of someone–just ask my husband. I will be honest that there were times during our first year when I wanted to give up–not in the “I want a divorce” sense but in the “This is too hard” sense. But time and time again–and don’t ask me how–God renewed me through the reminder of my marriage vow, that this was for life and that included the really hard times. Praise be to the Lord that He got us through those times and if you read this post, you know that I am out of the weird funk I was in and am loving and appreciating my husband more than ever before.

I pray the same for Chris and Meg. I pray that their marriage is centered upon and rooted in Christ–because human love isn’t enough to hold together over the years. The divorce rate in the U.S.–even among proclaimed evangelicals–will prove that. They need to run to God for satisfaction first and then they will be able to be content with each other. Because if you depend on that person for satisfaction, you are going to be let down again…and again…and again. They weren’t designed or meant to have that kind of responsibility. Jesus was and is meant to.

And I pray that they have a long life of love and intimacy together. I can see them being the old couple that still kisses and hugs and acts all lovey-dovey after they’ve been together 55 years. But I’m wise enough to not be presumptuous. Such a thing is a gift from God. All married couples need prayer. The biblical marriage dynamic of leadership and submission is so distorted and unnatural (I speak from personal experience) that God needs to be present and working in marriages for it to glorify Him and to accurately represent Christ and His love for the church.

Marriage really is a wonderful thing–so here’s to you Chris and Meg. May God bless your marriage. Enjoy your life together and don’t take it for granted.

Chris and Meg at their wedding

Chris and Meg at their wedding

Travis and me

Travis and me

The other bridesmaids--Meg's 3 sisters and her friend from middle school

The other bridesmaids

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An eventful weekend

4 Aug

My weekend started earlier than I had planned it would. Around 9 AM on Friday, I started having chest pains, so much so that it became hard to breathe. Every time I inhaled, the pain worsen and it was impossible for me to take a deep breath. But I was in a meeting taking notes. At first, I thought it would pass. I had experienced a tight chest before but it went away after about 15 minutes. But this lasted–through our entire one hour meeting. By the time the meeting was over, I knew this was a special case and felt I needed some medical attention–not just because I thought it might be serious but because I wanted someone who could alleviate the pain I was in.

So I told my boss Carol Ann that I needed to go to the ER because I was having trouble breathing. She offered to take me and long story short, that’s what ended up happening. I called Travis on the way there and he said that he would leave work right away to come meet me (and he literally dropped everything on the spot–that sweetie). When we got to the ER (which seemed to take forever), Carol Ann told an EMT standing by that I was experiencing chest pain and having a hard time breathing so they made sure that my oxygen level was good (still 100%) and put me to the top of the list. About 5 minutes later, I was called back into triage.

I could bore you with the details but I won’t. Let’s just say they asked me a lot of questions, many of them 4-5 different times, gave me an IV, did an EKG, drew blood for lab tests, x-rayed my chest, gave me some nasty chalky stuff to numb my throat and stomach, the whole shebang. All of the tests (thank the Lord) came back negative. Turns out I’m actually pretty healthy. They even asked me if I was an athlete because my heart rate was so low (abnormally low–in the 40s–but then it stabilized around 64 or so).

But turns out that I have acid reflux. Some people get it because they’re overweight. Some people get it because. (I can’t help but wonder if all those nights of binge drinking in college has anything to do with this…that was before I was a Christian though! Don’t be getting the wrong idea about me!) Anyway, the doctor told me about the esophagus and the muscle between the ribcage and lungs can get inflamed by the acid. Then those muscles that normally help you breathe feel like sandpaper rubbing together. Beautiful picture huh?

Anyway, I got released with a prescription of Prilosec. I took a nap after getting home and then got up and painted our house (I’m a diehard, what can I say? Plus, 2 of our friends came over and helped us. I couldn’t just sit around!) But Friday night was miserable. I couldn’t lay down any which way without intense pain so I propped 2 pillows against the wall and tried to sleep sitting up. It didn’t work. About 2:30, I got up and went to Walgreen’s for some pain medicine (we didn’t have any at our house because we hadn’t moved all of our stuff down yet). That helped–so I got about 5 hours of sleep that night.

Saturday was Moving Day. We got up at 7 and went to Home Depot because we weren’t quite done with painting and needed to buy one more gallon for the living room. After finishing that, we drove up to Boulder and some of our other friends met us there to help us load the truck. About an hour and a half later, our lives were loaded into a 16-ft Budget truck. We drove down to Boulder and the unloading began. Another hour later and we were done (with that part)! We ate pizza at Beau Jo’s for lunch and then it was back to the grind.

Or not. I tried putting stuff away for maybe an hour or two but I was so in pain (this time it was my collarbone…?) that I eventually had to call it quits (against my stubborn nature). I took some Tylenol PM and watched TV (we finally get some stations!) waiting for it to kick in. I decided to sleep on the couch that night because I was scared of the bed (it was so mean to me the night before). Travis, again what a sweetie, slept on the futon so that he could be close to me. What an amazing man, huh? I actually slept really well on the couch–I could even lie down flat!

Sunday I felt good. I had a little pain in the morning but I took some more ibuprofen and I was good to go. Which was SUCH a blessing from the Lord because Sunday was Apartment Cleaning Day. It took Travis and me 4 1/2 hours to clean our tiny 700 sq ft apartment. But it is DARN clean, let me tell ya. Let’s just see what the landlords think tomorrow at our walk-through.

I even felt good enough last night to put stuff away in our apartment. I was a whirlwind–I unpacked all of our boxes and organized everything but our picture frames (I can never figure out where to put those!)

Anyway, this blog post is way too long now and you’re probably not even reading it anymore! (If you are, thank you for your dedication to my nothingness) 🙂

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What I hate about moving…

1 Aug

Travis and I painted more last night and actually got quite a bit done. We painted the guest bedroom so that is done, except for the baseboards. We also painted the purple wall in the living room. It is now a celery green. But there isn’t an overhead light in the living room and we were painting it at sunset (and it faces east, not west) so there are a few minor spots that we missed with the roller. We’ll try to touch them up. The other wall in the living room that we were going to paint (to cover up some marks) we’re just going to touch up. The couch will go in front of the marks anyway.

Then Travis left for his hockey game so I started working on the trim. I finished one doorframe! Doesn’t sound like much huh? Actually, I got one coat on the closet and door frames of the MB, on the door frame of the GB, and on the door frame of the linen closet. Everything is going to take 2 coats so it’s just a long tedious process.

Tonight, we’re going to paint the office and try to get all the baseboards done in the rooms where we’ll have furniture against the wall. Then we’ll be ready to move in tomorrow and we finish painting over the next week or so.

A reassuring thought, though, while I’m busting my butt doing all this painting (I painted last night from 5 PM-11 PM) is that this is our permanent residence. We can live in this house as long as we want. And we don’t have to worry about our rent going skyhigh or landlords tweaking out. We can make improvements like this and ENJOY THEM for longer than a year! Seriously, I haven’t lived in one place longer than 2 years since moving to college. My freshman year, I lived in the dorms. Then I lived in a house my sophomore year. Then I lived in an apartment my junior year. Then I lived in another house my senior year and stayed there the year after I graduated (because Travis lived only 3 houses away!) Then I moved when we got married. Then we moved to boulder, Colorado. Now we’re moving to Wheat Ridge. And all that since 2002. Whew!

This is what I hate about moving:

Changing your address with the bank, school, work, credit cards, and places you never even think about until you get a forwarded letter in the mail that they had sent to your old address.

Having to throw out perfectly good address labels because you no longer live at that address.

Having checks with the address on them that you lived at 2 houses ago because you didn’t live there long enough to actually use up those checks.

Having mail go to 3 different houses at one time.

Going to all the work of making your residence liveable only to move out a year later.

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I heart my new commute

31 Jul

It only takes me 10 minutes to get to work from our new house. Woohoo! I won’t even mind going to work now…just kidding! If anything, it’s even harder to go to work now because I’m so excited about the house.

We slept on our new bed last night. We bought the Durango from Denver Mattress. It is lovely. It has the individually pocketed coils so that you can barely feel the other person move around. And it’s a queen so we have a lot more space on it than our old bed. I bought new teal sheets (on sale) from BB&B with a matching bedskirt that I just happened to find on clearance (love it when that happens!) We’re going to put the new duvet cover (that I bought with my mom in MN) on our bed and our old duvet cover on the bed in the guest room (Travis wanted a change).

I got our whole kitchen unpacked last night and went grocery shopping. So at least we can eat real food while we’re moving in. It’ll take a little while to get used to a new setup (as it always does) but it’s SO nice to have a bigger kitchen!! The cabinet arrangement isn’t ideal but we’ll make do. After Travis left for his “guy time,” I started to paint the trim until I realized we didn’t have any painters tape (I forgot it in Boulder). Kind of a necessity. So I decided to prime the guest bedroom instead. I got it all done by about 10:15 and then went to bed. I am such a messy painter–I get paint everywhere, including the carpet at least once or twice–so I have paint all over me today!

Tonight, we are going to paint the guest bedroom, prime and paint the purple wall in the living room, repaint another wall in the living room (they puttied holes in the wall without repainting–but they left the paint), and try to get some of the trim done. Tomorrow night we’ll paint the office and more trim. Then Saturday we move in! Yay!

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Excitement kills the work ethic

29 Jul

It’s not Monday but it still feels like it! For the next couple of weeks, it’s going to be really hard to be at work and be productive–I am so excited about our house that I can’t concentrate!! Add to that, we’re going to have so much going on outside of work that I’m pretty sure by the time my brother’s wedding rolls around, we are going to be exhausted (and might not be able to drive back!)

Tonight, we are going to go look at beds again. We have a full-size bed that I’ve had since my sophomore year of college. It’s getting a little old to be in such a small bed. So we’re going to buy a queen. We went looking on Sunday and found a couple that we’re interested in. It’s just so hard to know which one we’ll like! So we’re going to go lay on our 2 contenders again tonight and make a decision. We’re going to have it delivered to our new house and move our full into the guest bedroom. Yay! But that means I have to buy queen sheets sometime in the next couple days…

Then we’re going to buy paint and champagne for our little party tomorrow night. Except Travis is eating dinner with some friends from church so we won’t be having dinner on the floor. Oh well, I’m so excited to paint and be in our new house that I really don’t mind.

We’re also going to pack up the rest of our stuff tonight (like our dishes, computer, DVD player) and bring as much as we can down to the house tomorrow–I want to get as much set up as possible because we have a limited amount of time. Plus, I want to be able to eat actual food for the next week, instead of getting takeout and fast food every day.

Tomorrow, I am going to stop by the house in the morning to put all our perishable food in the fridge. Then, I have to work 😦 but after work, we’re going to pop the cork, toast to our new house, and get the paint brushes out. I am also going to do laundry (way past due) and try to put away all our dishes and pans in the kitchen.

Until Friday, that’s pretty much it but then on Saturday, we’re moving all of our furniture out of our apartment. Sunday, we’re going back to the apartment to clean everything so that we can just be done with Boulder already! (I am SO excited to not make that drive everyday anymore!!) Monday and Tuesday will be unpacking. Wednesday I go get my bridesmaid dress from the alterations place and a mani/pedi. Thursday night, we leave for Minnesota. Friday is the rehearsal and grooms dinner (it starts at 3 in the afternoon!) and then Saturday is the wedding. Sunday we’re planning on just hanging out with family and then Monday we drive back. Whew! It will be a whirlwind of activity but good thing it’s all exciting stuff. Except that part about going back to work on the next Tuesday.

Anyway, I know that I will want to stay up until midnight every night putting stuff away but I cannot let myself–or else, I will not be coherent for the wedding or the drive to MN. I just have to be patient…which I’m not very good at!

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Packing up

26 Jul

The fact that we bought a house is becoming a little more believable every day–because every day we get closer to actually moving in. On Wednesday of this week, the house is officially ours (meaning we aren’t landlords anymore, just homeowners and residents!) I want to buy a bottle of champagne and go to the house after work to eat dinner on the floor and toast to our new house. Yay! I think we might also bring some clothes, toiletries, and our sleeping bags to sleep there Wed, Thurs, Fri night (so that we don’t have to drive all the way back up to Boulder every night.)

So today is packing day. Tomorrow might be too, depending on how much we get done today. And there are the things that we can’t really pack up right now, like dishes, clothes, toiletries–stuff we use everyday. But we’ll at least get the majority of our stuff packed up (like winter clothes, books, decorations, etc.)

I am SO pumped! I went to Home Depot yesterday and got paint chips so that I can decide what paint I want and start painting on Wednesday!

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The Joy of Marriage

24 Jul

Well, it has taken 14 months but I feel like Travis and I have finally gotten into a marriage groove. We understand each other more (but not completely!), have learned what to do and when (and what NOT to do) for the other person, and have adopted our individual chores–Travis, financial and big-picture stuff (like researching vehicles and mortgages); me, cleaning and menial daily stuff (like making lunches in the morning and going grocery shopping).

But more than all that, I feel like I finally appreciate him. When we were dating, our relationship was too exciting for me to appreciate Travis. I didn’t need to appreciate him. I was so head over heels for him that anything he did was good enough (except waiting so long to propose!) But then we got married and after the newness, excitement, and “I’m a wife; now what?” wore off, his idiosyncrasies and little quirks drove me up the wall and seemed so rampant in daily life that I couldn’t focus on anything else. “Who is this man I married?” I thought. Bitterness and annoyance took root in my heart. There were times I couldn’t stand being by Travis. He would try to hug or kiss me and I would push him away saying that “I was in the middle of something” and that the way my personality is makes me hate stopping something right in the middle. Each time I pushed him away, I knew something wasn’t right with me.

One night about every other month, something would happen–either sexual disappointment, an argument, or my stubborn emotions not being what I thought they should be for my husband–and I would break down into deep, heaving sobs for 10-15 minutes. It was always good to have my loving, tender husband there at those moments of need. Those times grew my appreciation of him.

But to my dismay and helplessness, those times of sorrow over our marriage and my emotions toward Travis didn’t change anything. I continued on, liking a emotionless zombie, desiring for my heart to change but feeling like my hands were tied over what to do about it. I read marriage books and articles. I read Bible passages about marriage and Christ’s love for the church. It’d work for a while. But there were so many things about our marriage that I was unsettled about. Where was the romance? Where was the feeling that I was finally with my soul mate, the man chosen for me by God? I did feel like Travis was my best friend, but a little bit too much like a friend. I wanted a passionate marriage filled with sexual chemistry and intellectual foreplay. Instead, our marriage was butt-slapping and wrestling.

I kept thinking about the people I knew who said that marriage was wonderful. They said that they loved their spouses more that day than they did on their wedding day. I couldn’t help wonder about my own affections. I knew I still loved Travis–I was committed to him for life–but why didn’t I FEEL love for him? Why was I so cold-hearted? Why couldn’t I change?

I would love to say that I was faithful in prayer but I wasn’t. I’d pray about it for a few weeks after one of my sobbing episodes and then life and marriage would go back to normal–not bad but not great. But then one day, something changed. I can’t put my finger on it and I can’t even remember what exact day or month it was. But something in my heart changed. I wanted to cry, it felt so wonderful.

I loved Travis–and felt it.

I knew that God had flipped the switch in my heart and I am still so thankful to Him for it. It is a reminder that in my flesh, I don’t naturally love anyone but myself. Only through the power of the Holy Spirit in me do I love my husband–and my Lord.

Since that day a few months ago, things have only gotten better. I don’t get as angry with Travis during fights, I don’t let his little quirks get to me (I just laugh at them now because they’re his quirks), and I have made a concerted effort to kiss and hug Travis slowly and passionately, like my lover, not my buddy. I have also seen the impact of my relationship with the Lord on my relationship with my husband. I can’t expect Travis to fulfill my every need. Jesus alone can satisfy. I have seen the ways I’ve failed and sinned against Travis and felt like I could finally DO something about it. And you know what? It has fanned the flames of our marriage.

The past few weeks of our marriage have felt like a honeymoon. I love seeing him after work, I love kissing and hugging him, and I love sharing my life with him. This is what marriage is supposed to be like. Now I can say with those other married couples that I love Travis more today than I did on our wedding day. Praise be to our faithful Father in heaven!

Speaking of which, our photographer just sent us all our wedding pictures burned onto a CD (he kept the rights for a year but we did get a wedding album in October 2007). Here are a few of my faves:

A sweet kiss

A sweet kiss

Sophisticated

Sophisticated

My favorite picture--so relaxed

My favorite picture--so relaxed

Our first dance as husband and wife to "Love of a Lifetime"

Our first dance as husband and wife to "Love of a Lifetime"

The head table with the bridesmaid bouquet

The head table with the bridesmaid bouquet

Me and my dad during the Father-Daughter dance

Me and my dad during the Father-Daughter dance

Tearing up the dance floor

Tearing up the dance floor

The happy couple

The happy couple

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My birthday sandals

22 Jul

I wore them to work today! I thought they might give me blisters when I first tried them on but I wore them all day long, and did a decent amount of walking to the bathroom, the printer, and across the hall, so I think they’re going to be ok! Still won’t be wearing them to the airport or the mall… but I can wear them to weddings and church!

Here I am with my new shoes:

Me and my golden birthday shoes

Me and my golden birthday shoes

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Vacation in Minnesota

19 Jul

*Sigh.* I love summer in Minnesota. Being back here makes both Travis and me wish somewhat that we didn’t live in Colorado. But I keep reminding myself that 7 months out of the year, I am VERY glad that I live in Colorado because of the weather and all the stuff to do. But you can’t beat Minnesota lakes in the summer. Even though there are lots of mosquitoes and humidity, I still love this state in the summer. It just smells a certain way and it reminds of me of growing up.

I did have a great birthday. Very lowkey but it was a lot of fun. We went tubing and skiing on the lake again and went fishing in the evening. We caught about 15 sunfish total and kept about 8. We fried the fish the next morning for breakfast (they were actually really good, even though I’m not a huge fan of fish for breakfast). After eating our burgers, salad, and corn, we started a bonfire right next to the lake. Around 10:30, we went back inside and had cake and ice cream. It was a very good birthday!

On Wednesday morning, Travis and I woke up to a good ole Minnesota thunderstorm. I LOVE thunder and lightning when it’s lightly raining outside. We left for Nevis, MN, around 10 AM after eating breakfast and cleaning the kitchen up from the night before and got up to Nevis, where his parents live, around 1:30. We played baseball in Nevis with his younger brother, nephew, and Mom and then went to see Wall-e, which was really cute. I also opened my presents from Travis and his family–Travis gave me a pair of sandals from Victoria’s Secret that I really wanted 

My birthday sandals

My birthday sandals--I got the gold ones.

 and his family gave me a gift certificate to Target (which I’m going to use for house stuff!!) My parents’ present to me came about 3 months ago in the form of a Coach purse which I am loving.

On Thursday, we went fishing at the crack of down. I caught a 3-4 lb. smallmouth bass, along with a bunch of small panfish. Travis and Matthew (his bro) caught some Northern pike. We didn’t keep anything. After eating breakfast, Travis, Matthew, Drew (his nephew who lives with Trav’s sis in NC but is up here for a month), Beth (his mom), and I all went to the World of Christmas, which is an amusement park. We rode the bumper boats (where I got soaked!) and the go-karts; walked through a maze; had water wars (I got soaked then too!); jumped on a bungee cord thingy; and played mini-golf. It was a lot of fun. Then Travis and I drove an hour and a half to Grand Rapids, where his dad, Al, has taken a new job. Beth and Matthew will move there as well but they’re still working on buying a house. Al gave us a tour around his workplace (a redi-mix plant where he’s a manager) and around the town of Grand Rapids. 

Yesterday, Travis and I slept in to about 8:45 and then ate the continental breakfast at the posh hotel that his dad is staying at. Al’s hotel suite is bigger than our apartment in Boulder! The hotel is brand new too so everything is really nice. We took showers and hung around the hotel for a while and then drove back to Nevis. We went fishing again, Travis, Matthew, and Drew in the fishing boat, and me and Beth in the canoe. We caught a bunch of small sunfish and kept 3 but ended up throwing them back because 3 isn’t enough to fillet and fry. After dinner, Travis and I drove to Park Rapids (about 20 min away) to visit one of his friends from HS, Jesse, and his wife, Emily. We toured their business and new house and caught up. It was fun.

Today, we have been kind of lazy. It was raining all morning so we just hung out inside, took a tour of the state land around their property that is being logged, played Bocce ball, read, took a nap, etc. It’s good to have a lazy day or two on vacation.

But I can’t believe that it’s already Saturday and tomorrow we fly home. It’s bittersweet–bitter because the end of vacation is always sad and we won’t see Trav’s family again maybe until October (if they come to my bro’s wedding in August, we’ll see them then too). Sweet because we’ll see my family again in August but also because in the meantime, we get to move into our new house!! Now that our vacation is almost over and I have the house to look forward to (and we saw Jesse and Emily’s new house last night), I am getting really excited about moving in and decorating. There’s a lot we want to do and our only limitation is money. (Ah…money.) But my mom’s gift and Beth’s gift have definitely helped!!

Ok, I’m done now.

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