Pregnancy #2 Update: 6 Months

19 Dec

24weekcompI was 24 weeks along this past Wednesday – and my belly is definitely bigger than last time! Seems like pregnancy exhaustion is kicking back in because I am very behind on blogging, but just can’t seem to ever bring myself to do it! I’ve been taking naps during Emma’s naps and vegging in front of the TV after she goes to bed (which means I stay up too late, adding to my exhaustion).

The biggest change since my 5-month update is that I can no longer run. I went on a 2-mile run with my friend Brenda the weekend after Thanksgiving weekend and my pelvis was so angry afterward that I could barely walk. So… I had hoped to keep up the more intense workouts for longer this time, but it appears my body has other ideas. For now, I’m sticking with walking, the elliptical and my prenatal Pilates video. We’re talking about joining the Y, which means I could get back into swimming. I’m entertaining the idea of signing up for a local sprint triathlon that is in August next year. It sells out fast, and registration starts on Jan 2, so I have to decide soon!

Besides running, everything else is still going smoothly. Baby is very active! I’m starting to get to the point of pregnancy where it’s hard to sit up, roll over and good sleep is hit or miss (hence the naps). I’m also having weird dreams, which I had last time. But still no food cravings, no face acne and no linea negra (so maybe it’s a boy this time?). I’ve gained about 12-13 pounds so far. When I was pregnant with Emma, I tried to gain 1-2 lbs every week during the 2nd and 3rd trimesters. This time, I’m only concerned about gaining too much! I know now that the weight piles on faster at the end so no need to worry. Plus, I’d like to gain fewer than 35 pounds this time.

We had our ultrasound at 22 weeks. Everything looked great. Baby was laying like a taco, with his/her legs over her head.

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The ultrasound technician was super nice and even did some 3D imaging for us while waiting for the baby to move so she could get a better image of the heart valves.

1509037_850898904940433_6891209828618443299_nI’m still a little apprehensive about not finding out the gender ahead of time, but we’re sticking with it!

I made some more progress on the nursery since my last update – I sewed curtains and stuck up wall dots (from Walls Need Love).

1507940_847382471958743_748364470285530591_n 10628045_847382508625406_6811728264417116824_nI’ve pretty much decided on the other decorations I’m going to do for the nursery, but they are going to be after-Christmas projects. Too much stuff going on before then!

Well, I think that’s about it!

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Emma Grace: 20 Months

6 Dec

Emma is 20 months today! I feel like 24 is going to be here before we know it. (And with it, a brother or sister for Emma!)

This past month has been somewhat of a doozy with Miss Emma (and a mostly undocumented doozy at that – I took hardly any pictures!). We have been convinced that she’s getting her 2-year molars and then no teeth appear. She’s had many rough nights, won’t  nap without being held, is sometimes ridiculously picky about what she eats, seems to be in pain often, is drooling a ton, sucking on her whole hand and often whiny and clingy. But still, no teeth. (Lots of ibuprofen though.)

I think at least part of the problem is that her separation anxiety with mommy has increased exponentially over the past month. She used to just run off at MOPS or daycare to play with toys but now she has to be pushed through the door and held sobbing by someone else while I say goodbye and leave. Breaks my heart. But she gets over it pretty quickly.

People often remark on how busy Emma is and it’s true – she’s a little tornado. I’m going to do a separate post on the messes she makes but suffice it to say, leave her alone for 30 minutes and every room upstairs will be torn apart.

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Favorites this month have been:

* Emptying all the clothes out of her dresser, especially socks
* Being pushed around in the laundry hamper
* Wasting toilet paper, tissues, Q-tips and napkins by ripping them into little shreds
* Sitting on the dogs, or even daddy’s head
* Being rolled up like a burrito in a blanket
* Playing in a fort (under a blanket)
* Sitting in mommy’s closet
* Going down slides all by herself
* Eating applesauce and yogurt (the 2 foods she requests almost everyday)

 

We found out that Emma does qualify for ‘speech therapy’ or whatever they call it. She is in the 6th percentile for language development, which was the cutoff for aid. (But she’s in the 95th percentile for cognitive ability! I’ve always said she has an engineering brain like her daddy.) So that means we have a special education teacher and speech clinician come to our house once a week for the next year to play games with Emma, with the focus of increasing her vocabulary. They also work with us as parents to give us ideas on how to help Emma start communicating, even if it’s just by using sign language. So we’ve started learning more signs and teaching them to her. She’s a lot more receptive to them now than she was even just a few months ago. We’re seeing progress!

It’s funny – this is the kind of situation that seems like would be hard to not feel like a failure as a parent or wonder why Emma isn’t more like other ‘normal’ kids. But neither Travis nor I feel like that at all. Sure we’re complete amateurs at this whole parenting thing but we love Emma for who she is and she just happens to be behind in speech. It’s nice to have ‘experts’ help us help her. So if you have any questions about our experience, ask away!

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What Emma lacks in speech, though, she makes up for in facial expressions and friendliness. She loves other kids and is so goofy and silly. She’s started walking backwards and spinning in circles. She also does this thing where she flaps her little hands (like a wave) close to her face – pretty much the cutest thing ever. She’ll also open her mouth really wide with a shocked expression on her face while she tickles my head/hair with both hands. Even though this age has its challenges, I love seeing Emma’s personality. It still amazes me that she’s only 4 months from being 2!

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Christmas Thoughts: On Gifts

5 Dec

I’d like to do a short series in the month of December featuring various thoughts I have about Christmas. Here’s the first installation. 

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If I had a penny for every time I heard a Christian lament the gift-giving frenzy that is Christmas in America, I’d be able to buy every Christmas gift I’ve ever wanted.

Don’t get me wrong – I agree that Black Friday, Cyber Monday, Cyber Week, and Christmas shopping in general are out of control. Even though I’ve gone shopping on Black Friday the past 3-4 years (at a respectable hour like 6 am), I refuse to go shopping on Thanksgiving Day. I just can’t imagine ever wanting to buy something so bad that I have to miss out on family time to get it. But I digress…

I think that as Christians, it is tempting to swing the opposite direction of our culture and think that gift-giving at Christmas is bad. I myself, for one, have had the thought during more than one Christmas, “If Christmas isn’t really about the gifts, why are we [meaning my family] still doing that whole thing? Why don’t we just do away with gifts entirely?”

But I think that mindset is missing the point. The problem with Christmas gifts is not that the act of giving gifts is wrong – it’s that the gifts have become ends in themselves. They are often no longer a way to show another person that we care enough about them to spend the time, energy and money to buy something that we hope makes them happy. They are an expectation of the receiver and a duty of the giver.

Deep down, though, I believe that we as humans enjoy giving gifts – even more than we enjoy receiving them. At the very least, we were created to enjoy giving gifts. Why? Because we were created in God’s image and He is the Ultimate Giver. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17).

So at Christmastime, I think that we can embrace giving gifts as a reflection of our heavenly Father’s character and the greatest gift of all, Jesus. Use this time of year as an opportunity to teach our kids the reasons why we give, and allow them to experience giving themselves, not just receiving. Emma’s still a little young to understand the whole concept, but we plan to make giving to the less fortunate one of our family traditions (throughout the year, but especially at Christmas).

And finally for those of us like me, who still struggle a little with the idea that Christmas gifts feel expected and not spontaneous, it can be helpful to remember that giving gifts to those we love is not just a way of being forced to fight the holiday crowds. Instead, giving can be an expression of Christ’s love to them… and a blessing to ourselves in return.

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Thanksgiving Weekend 2014

2 Dec

I had grand plans for Thanksgiving this year, but apparently God wanted to teach me a lesson in slowing down and letting go because things didn’t go quite as planned.

We hosted the big meal at our house for Travis’ immediate family, my parents and my brother. We’ve never hosted a fancy meal for that many people so it was a learning experience! Monday, I went grocery shopping after Emma went to bed. Tuesday, I deep-cleaned the house while Emma was at daycare. So far so good.

Wednesday, I attempted to repurpose an old tablecloth that didn’t fit our new table into a table runner and placemats. Well, somehow I got my math wrong because the table runner ended up being too short and then my sewing machine broke in the middle of the placemats. I ended up borrowing a tablecloth from my mother-in-law. It worked, but that wasn’t the plan! (Luckily, the table runner fits our table when we only have one leaf in it.)

Some more of our fall decorations:

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My parents, Travis’ brother and his girlfriend arrived Wednesday night and we had elk steaks, roasted vegetables and mac ‘n’ cheese for dinner. After getting everyone mostly situated, I hit the sack for an early morning – running the local turkey trot. Never mind that it was supposed to be about 0 degrees at the start.

Unfortunately, that plan got derailed as well because I developed a horrible sore throat and cough overnight that made me sound like a 50-year-old chain smoker. Running outside in the freezing cold probably wouldn’t be a great idea. So no turkey trot. Money down the drain.

Being sick also meant that I couldn’t help out in the kitchen much, since who wants a sickly person making their food? Instead, I took a nap, a long hot shower and directed people to where things were and what else had to be done. (I must admit, it was nice in some ways.)

The most important things though – food and family – were perfect. We all ate until we couldn’t eat anymore and enjoyed conversation, watching Planes, Trains and Automobiles, and playing Big Buck Hunter.

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Teeny tiny tableIMG_6055 (Large)

Emma was not impressed with the Thanksgiving fareIMG_6056 (Large)

Quick family picture in the single digits!IMG_6058 (Large)

 

The cute cupcakes that Travis’ bro and his girlfriend made

Everyone left that evening except my parents and brother. It was nice to have some extra time with them.

Friday morning, Travis and I headed to our 21-week ultrasound while my parents and brother watched Emma. Everything looks great! I have my 22-week appointment with my OB tomorrow.

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Legs up over the head

After my parents and brother left, it was Emma’s naptime – which, these days, means time for mommy or daddy to hold Emma for a nap. She was a little sick and we’re pretty sure she’s getting her 2-year molars. She’s been putting her hands in her mouth a lot, drooling up a storm and seems to be in pain quite often. Poor girl. After Emma’s nap, we attempted some Black Friday shopping but Emma had a meltdown so we just came back home.

Saturday, Travis’ uncle got married so we journeyed down to the Cities for the wedding. It was nice to see his extended family again, and Emma actually did really well. There was another little girl there her age and Emma walked right up to her and gave her a big hug. So cute! I am proud of Emma for being so friendly and outgoing.

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Eating a tide-me-over at McDonald’s before the wedding

Sunday, we went to church and then hung out at home until our date night! Some friends watched Emma while Travis and I went to Mockingjay Part One. It was good – different than the other Hunger Games movies and a little slow at first, but we enjoyed it overall. Then we grabbed a quick bite at Buffalo Wild Wings before we picked Emma up.

It was a fun weekend! Unfortunate that I had to get sick (and am STILL sick) but such is life, right?

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Adding My $.02 to the Age-Old Debate

20 Nov

Since everyone and their grandma has opinions on the working vs. stay-at-home mom debate, let me throw mine into the mix.

I went back to work 3 days a week when Emma was about 4 months old. I was blessed to have such a long maternity leave – I think both Emma and I needed that time together. But even though I was a little nervous at the thought of someone else taking care of Emma, I was ready to go back to work. I needed some structure to my week and was looking forward to having a reason to shower and get dressed nicely.

I enjoyed working 3 days a week. Having 3 days at a computer allowed me time to think coherent thoughts and feel accomplished in a professional sense. It also enabled me to send personal emails, schedule appointments, and play fantasy football (haha) during random downtimes. Even though getting bottles ready, pumping and commuting an hour each way made those days a little hectic, it was nice once I got to work to be able to breathe and have a break from baby stuff.

Working those 3 days also made the days I stayed home with Emma extra special – we stayed in our jammies until noon, did random stuff around the house, ran errands and hung out with friends. I felt more energetic and creative as a mom when I was with Emma as a result of having the time away from her.

When we moved to Minnesota, I stopped working. My employer had already made a special concession to let me go down to 3 days – I doubt they would’ve approved working from home on top of that. I wasn’t sure I wanted to stay anyway. On top of no longer working, we lived 10 minutes outside a town of 300 for 3 months. Talk about a huge shift.

I knew that I couldn’t judge what being a stay-at-home mom is like based on those 3 months, so even though I wasn’t *loving* it, I was patient. I have now been a SAHM with Emma for about 9 months – equal to the time I was a working mom. Emma and I have gotten involved and have a fairly regular weekly routine, so I feel like I have a fairly accurate idea of what being a SAHM is like. And I can say that I prefer working part-time. Don’t get me wrong. There are many things that are great about staying home full-time. I like the ability to get things done during the day instead of taking care of them after work or on the weekends. I like cooking dinner at a reasonable hour. I like seeing Emma grow and learn new things, and being the one taking care of her. I like going to playdates and MOPS and spending time outside.

But just like working outside the home has its challenges, so does staying home. You don’t get a break. You have a little needy person (or persons) with you constantly. It’s impossible to get anything done without being interrupted and some days, you need an extra gallon of patience that never seems to arrive. So sure, hypothetically you have all the time in the world to bake and clean and craft and Facebook, but in reality, you’re just chasing a kid around all day, keeping them from injuring themselves, drawing on your furniture or yanking on the dog’s tail.

More than that though, I miss the personal fulfillment of working. When I gave birth to Emma, I became a mom, but I didn’t stop being me. I am happier and more myself when I have a creative outlet, a personal goal, time to think and accomplish things without a little person tugging on my leg or the worry that naptime will be over soon.

That’s me though. I am not a natural ‘kid person’ and never have been. Some people are, and that’s great. Some moms love staying home, and that’s great. Some moms love working, and that’s great. There are tradeoffs, sacrifices, challenges and benefits of each way. I truly believe that every family needs to do what is right for them. Travis and I are fortunate to have the financial means to make the choice freely. I know other families do not have that option.

What I would like to see is for women to stop picking sides and declaring which way is ‘right’ or ‘better’. Just the other day, I read a supposedly objective essay on this debate, and the author was clearly biased toward staying home (because she happened to be a SAHM). Just because you do things one way doesn’t make it the right way. And let’s be honest, fellow SAHMers – do we REALLY want all of the college-educated, intelligent, driven women to check out of the workforce once they have kids? Do we REALLY want a society run by males? We do not! Women are a crucial part of the workforce.

I realize that I may come across as slightly hypocritical by saying that, since I am not currently working outside the home. Even though I would prefer to work part-time, I have found that the number of professional part-time jobs out there (especially where I currently live) are virtually nonexistent. I know plenty of women who work full-time, but I personally would prefer not to (and I’m blessed to have that choice). So that might make me a hypocrite, but so be it.

Anyway, those are my thoughts on the age-old debate of working vs. stay-at-home mom. Neither is easy. Both have challenges. Both have rewards. All moms love their kids.

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Pregnancy #2 Update: 5 Months

19 Nov

I’m 20 weeks along today – halfway there!

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Never mind that bad picture…

Here’s me at 20 weeks with Emma:

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We have our ultrasound the day after Thanksgiving but we’re still planning on keeping the gender a surprise until the baby is born.

I feel bad saying this but honestly, this pregnancy has been pretty much a breeze so far. I’d say that I’m a little more tired than usual, but I was used to taking naps during Emma’s naps even before I got pregnant so… I guess that’s pretty much the same. I’m still attempting to get up before her in the morning, but she has decided recently to start waking up at 6, which is as early as I’m willing to get up. Frustrating…

I haven’t had any weird aches or pains (that last, at least), I’m still sleeping pretty well (on my stomach sometimes even!), and I haven’t had really any food cravings. I’m still running – we signed up for a Turkey Trot 5K on Thanksgiving so I’ve been “training” for that by running about twice a week. I’ve worked up to 2.5 miles so far. Even though I had gotten back into running shape last spring, I wasn’t running more than a couple miles at a time all summer. Now that we seem to be in the thick of winter, I’ll probably be done running for a while after the race (unless I join a gym).

I started feeling the baby move a couple of weeks ago. The movements are very slight flutters at this point, but fun to feel and also reassuring that the baby is doing well. I’ve gained about 12 lbs so far.

We finally made some progress on the nursery this past weekend. My parents were up so we moved the futon downstairs and painted. We had a gallon of paint left over from when we painted our main room, and it was the color I had decided to go with anyway, so it worked out! I LOVE it.

Before

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I bought some wall dots from Walls Need Love after seeing them on Pinterest and plan to do a design like this or this. I am going to spray paint the lamp we already have – gold for the shade and navy blue for the base. And just today I bought fabric to sew curtains – it’s a navy blue and white fretwork design (which I just happen to be obsessed with).

I went through Emma’s baby clothes and we have only a few gender-neutral things, so I’m going to look around for some more in newborn / 0-3 month sizes.

And Emma is crying again from her cough that will. not. go. away. so that’s all I have for now!

 

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The Importance of Eternity

12 Nov

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If you’ve read my blog for a while, you probably know that I spend a lot of time focusing on accepting the circumstances God allows – true joy comes from surrendering to His plan. It’s waaay easier said than done because to be honest, I often don’t like the circumstances He allows. They’re hard. They hurt. Sometimes they just plain suck. But the truth remains: If I want joy, I must humbly submit myself and my life to God.

I still wholeheartedly believe in this and the book I’m working on is about how I got to that place. But I’ve noticed a potentially bad result of that mindset: forgetting eternity.

Finding joy by accepting what God allows isn’t just about making this life more bearable. The Bible is full of verses about the importance and benefits of trials, suffering, and persecution in a believer’s life. But the reason WHY those are so valuable is eternity.

The apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 15:19, “If in this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.” God is our hope and joy in this life only because He’s our hope and joy in the next. There is no gospel without eternity. We cannot let go of this life and truly trust God with everything unless we are staking our hearts on another life, a better one – one spent face to face with Him. Paul also wrote, “My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better.” (Philippians 1:23b)

It’s good to give thanks for God’s daily, tangible blessings and provision — doing so helps me connect the larger reality of the gospel to my everyday life. But it’s best to give thanks for salvation through faith alone in Christ alone. Only that will never change and never be taken away.

Though Satan should buffet
Though trials should come
Let this blessed assurance control
That Christ hath regarded my helpless estate
And hath shed His own blood for my soul

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Emma Grace: 19 Months

11 Nov

Emma’s favorite things at 19 months:

  • “Cooking” in the kitchen with water20141006_175336
  • Playing outside (but not riding in the stroller, or walking when she’s supposed to)
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  • Playing in the car20141021_122013
  • Eating pickles… for breakfast20141024_074543
  • Jumping! This was in the bouncy house at the fall festival but she loves jumping on her toddler bed (the only thing she does on it right now) and on the trampolines at ECFE.20141024_194211
  • Helping Mommy and Daddy with whatever they’re doing (this was taken while cleaning out a cooler from elk hunting)
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  • Making messes! Specifically with towels, dishes, paper, and balls.20141027_092235
  • Finding water outside while playing in the rain. Water!!!20141027_171959
  • Other things that Emma loves (and I don’t have pictures of):
    • Coloring
    • Getting messy with finger paints, mud or food
    • Dogs
    • Playing with other kids
    • Looking at books by herself
    • Riding in the ‘race car carts’ at the grocery store
    • Climbing on things she’s not supposed to, like our side table or entryway bench

Since I said I’d mention it, we had the first of Emma’s evaluations for a speech delay, and their conclusion was what we had known – she’s on track in every area except speech. We’re going to have 2 more evaluations done, and then I’ll post the ‘results’ or what ‘treatment’ we’re going to do.

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Worth Repeating {11/10/14}

10 Nov

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Being a stay-at-home mom is hard. I struggle with loneliness (because you’re alone, and yet not) a lot, even though I’ve been getting back into the swing of normal life. My kneejerk reaction to emotions that I don’t like is numbness – going through life on autopilot. But depending on God during the hard times meaning acknowledging the hardness, and trusting Him to be sufficient in the midst of it all.

That’s why I like this quote that I found on Pinterest. Such a great reminder that the hard times have their purpose.

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In the Swing of Things

9 Nov

One of the hardest things about moving back to Minnesota was the ‘stalling’ of normal life. We spent 3 months living in a town an hour away from where we knew we were moving, so it was very impractical to get involved in anything, in either place. Our lives were essentially on hold – especially, it felt, for me. I was a stay-at-home mom for the first time since being on maternity leave. I didn’t have a house to manage, decorate or organize. I didn’t have any activities or obligations. I was floundering.

God used that season to test my faith, and stretch me beyond my comfort zone. I was reminded that growth never comes from doing what’s easy or comfortable – only from being pushed beyond what we think we can handle. That said, I’m glad that season is coming to a close!

Emma and I finally have some semblance of a ‘normal’ weekly schedule. (With Travis’ crazy work schedule, our family’s schedule still isn’t normal, but hopefully it will be more so by the beginning of next year.)

I joined MOPS, which meets about 2 Mondays a month (some months only 1).

I enrolled Emma in an Early Childhood and Family Education class, which I attend with her, called Time Together on Thursdays. We do crafts; learn animals, songs and sign language; and play with other kids.

We have been going to the same church for the past month or so. We’re not ready to commit to being members yet, but we like what we’ve seen and heard so far. And we’ve met a lot of great people, which has been so nice.

I’m in a book study with 3 other ladies on Thursday nights. We’ve been reading The Home Experience by Devi Titus and while she’s very southern and some of her suggestions are impractical for mothers of preschoolers, it has been a great encouragement in this season of staying home to study how being a wife and mother is a valuable, worthwhile calling, and how I can bless those around me by taking it seriously.

And finally, starting next week, Emma will be going to daycare one day a week on Tuesdays – so that Mommy can have a break and pursue her dream of writing a book!

It is very nice to have life starting to look more ‘normal’ again. I’m glad, though, that it has taken as long as it has, because we have been able to be intentional about what we’re filling up our weeks with, instead of just adding stuff for the sake of being busy.

Now if my husband were just able to stop working so much, we’d be set!

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