Tracking Your Training

24 Feb

Everyone has their own preference for tracking their training. Some people keep it all in their heads. Others have complex, color-coded spreadsheets with different columns and rows for every minute aspect of their lives.

I’ve posted what my training plan looks like before but here it is again for your viewing pleasure:

Basically, I take Hal Higdon’s plan, put it into a spreadsheet, rearrange the workouts so that they work for my schedule (I take Wednesday off because we always have care group or ladies’ night), and make it pretty. Pretty simple.

What happens afterward:

I print the plan out and hang it on the inside of my bathroom closet door.

I stash a pencil in my closet and cross off every workout as I do it with a big X across the box.

If I skip a workout, I scribble it out.

I’ve used this system for all of the races I’ve ever done. I like the paper because I can look at it easily when I’m home (and I can look at the electronic version at work); I get to cross off my workout when it’s done (my Type A personality loves that!); and it’s easy for me to keep track if I switch days. If I do Thursday’s workout on Monday, I cross off Thursday. Then when I get to Thursday, I can easily see which workout I have left to do. There are plenty of weeks when I do every workout on the wrong day. But I’m really trying to not do that this time around because I do plan my workouts in this order for a reason.

After my workouts, all of my stats get recorded on MapMyRun.com:

I’ve also used this program since I started training for my first half marathon in 2008. For each workout, I can record the time of day it was, what the weather was like, my effort level, how I felt, and add notes.

I’ve looked into other websites like Running Ahead and Daily Mile but I just really like MapMyRun. And now that it shows you splits from iMapMyRun, AND they’ve added the Gear Tracker back in (so that you can easily track how many miles are on your shoes), I will never leave. I am a person that if I find something that works, I stick with it. I see no need to keep reinventing the wheel.

{Side note: This sometimes is not a good thing. For example, yesterday, when I put on one of my favorite outfits, I looked in the mirror and saw it with “new eyes” – my cords had gotten a hole so I sewed it up with thread that wasn’t quite the right color and the sweater is from junior high so it has a quite a few pills and looks a little ragged. I realized that these might not be considered “work appropriate” but eh, I wore them anyway. It bothers me when perfectly good clothes have to be thrown out or not worn because they get holes in them. Although that probably disqualifies them from the description of “perfectly good.”}

Anyways, I love MapMyRun. The only thing I wish were different is that you could easily choose which Month/Year you want to view. Right now, you have to scroll back using the arrow button, which works but is time-consuming.

And last but not least, my Polar heart rate monitor produces a fun little report for me every Sunday night at midnight of the week’s workouts. It shows how many workouts I did, how long the cumulative time was, and how many calories I burned. Lately, those numbers have been pathetically small and since my chest strap needs to be replaced (which may not happen any time soon, considering it’ll cost me $35), my “calories burned” has been zero. Which makes a tiny bit sad – even though I know I am burning calories with or without my heart rate monitor, I like to see the numbers! Not having a chest strap also means that I can no longer view my heart rate during my runs. So I’ve been running them by feel.

Speaking of which, last night I headed out for my tempo/hill run after work. The dogs are always super hyper when they get to go on a run, especially after being cooped up all day, so they usually pull me along faster than I want to go and I have to keep yanking on them to rein them in. Well yesterday, my legs felt good. I was tempted to rein it in because What if I go out too fast and screw myself later? Then I thought, Negative thoughts be damned. If I feel good, I’m going to run fast.

So I did.

The last half mile was a 9:09 pace! The hill I ran seems so challenging in the moment but when I look at it on a graph like this, it looks like a negligent bump. In reality, it’s a 100 foot gain in .2 miles. So it’s not the worst hill ever but it’s decent. Add some ice and snow to the sidewalks, two impatient dogs that can run fast on ice, and you’ve got a challenging run!

When I got back from that, I took my laptop to the guest bedroom and biked 7 easy miles while watching The Biggest Loser. Meh. That show is just ok. Too much drama for me. I like to see their workouts and what they’re recommended to eat but that’s about it.

My 30 minutes on the bike revealed that my seat problem might not be totally fixed. It’s definitely WAY better but not 100% resolved. But I wasn’t wearing tri or bike shorts (just my running pants) and I was on a trainer (which just like a treadmill, exaggerates every tiny discomfort because it’s all you have to focus on). The real test will be this Sunday – I’m going to wear my tri shorts and go for an hour. Can I do it?

How do you like to log your workouts?

Are you a fan of The Biggest Loser?

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Favorite Things

23 Feb

My blog friend Danielle is hosting a Favorite Things Link up!

Here are a few of my favorite things:

My Utmost for His Highest by Oswald Chambers

I have read this devotional almost every morning for the past 5 years and STILL love it.

All books by C.S. Lewis 

He was a genius. If I could meet anyone in person (besides Jesus Himself), Lewis would be the person I’d pick.

Nike Zoom Structure Triax

This is my 4th pair of these shoes and they still treat me well. Although, I recently read that the Mizuno Wave Riders are good for wide feet and high arches so I might look into those.

Quaker Oatmeal Squares

My favorite cereal EVER. But I only buy it when it’s on sale but it’s against my morals to buy a $5 box of cereal. Kidding.

My dogs

Even though I get frustrated with their bad behavior, I absolutely adore my furbabies. I think they’re the cutest dogs ever.

This race picture My Brooks Speedy Bullet Jacket

I have worn this jacket for every single run I’ve done outdoors in the past 4 weeks and have been surprised time and again at how well it keeps me warm, even though it is windbreaker thin. Worth all $108 I spent on it.

And that race pic from the Snowman Stampede last Saturday? Priceless. (Was I praying to not die? )

The Subaru Forester

I heart the newest version so much. And I feel so out of place in Colorado without a Subaru. That is the color I would want too. As soon as our Focus dies…

Sushi

We’ve found two great places for sushi in Denver: Namiko’s in Arvada and Sushi Uokura in Golden. We almost always order a California roll, but I like to try new rolls and honestly, I have yet to have a sushi roll I didn’t like.

…………………..

What are some of your favorite things? Head on over to Danielle’s blog and join the link up!

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Eating Plan for Lent

22 Feb

Quickly, I just want to mention that it’s 56* in Denver today. Absolutely wonderful. I just want all the snow to melt already so that I can stop wiping off dirty dog paws!

On to today’s topic:

Eating.

Ever since my January goal of not eating sweets ended, my eating has been kind of haphazard. I do really well until about 4:00 and then the wheels fall off. I get home from work hungry and have a snack before I run. Then I have a snack when I get back from my run while I’m cooking dinner. Then I have a drink or treat before bed.

I also discovered that while my tastebuds enjoyed my new favorite breakfast, my stomach did not. After almost a whole week of feeling incredibly bloated and gassy, I realized that the only consistent thing that had changed about my diet was that I was eating Fiber One and Uncle Sam cereal every day – often combined. Both cereals are high in fiber. And contrary to the hype that fiber should be added to every single food possible, there is such a thing as too much fiber.

My body should be no stranger to fiber. I eat  at least 3-4 servings of fruit and 2-3 servings of vegetables daily, plus plenty of whole grains. So the only thing I could think of was that by adding the high fiber cereals, my body was getting too much fiber. I stopped eating those cereals and within 2 days, I felt normal again. Travis is thankful that I am no longer gassing him out of the house (ah, the beauties of marriage).

Yesterday afternoon, I thought maybe it was just the Fiber One cereal that had been giving me problems. So I ate 1/4 cup of Uncle Sam with some yogurt. Bad idea.

Welp, I guess I’ll just have to go back to my trusty, sugar-filled Honey Bunches of Oats and Frosted Mini-Wheats. Such a hard life…

Even though the fiber bloat is gone, I’m still feeling meh with my body right now. Maybe it’s because I was running 10 miles a week and eating like I was doing 25? I don’t know. But I do know that I have found myself bringing my normal snacks to work, and within an hour of eating a healthy, well-balanced snack, I’m hungry again. I feel like I am always. eating.

When I read another chapter in Love to Eat, Hate to Eat the other morning, and the author suggested keeping a food log, I decided to try it, hoping that it would help me to be more mindful of when and how much I’m eating. Enter the food log:

Mine looks different than the one she includes in the book, mostly because there is no way I could fit my handwriting into the tiny squares of her graph. But also because I like tracking my food in meals/snacks instead of by food group.

I’m recording:

  • What I ate for Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner and 3 Snacks (including pre-/post-workout fuel)
  • When I ate it
  • What my mood or feeling was when I ate it (specifically if it was emotional or not)
  • How much water I drink
  • If I complete my morning routine of reading the Bible and writing
  • If I complete my training schedule for the day
  • Any victories
  • Areas that need growth

And at the bottom, I have these 2 verses that inspire me to more disciplined eating:

“Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts.” (Romans 13:14)

“All things are lawful for me, but not all things are profitable. All things are lawful for me, but I will not be enslaved by anything.” (1 Corinthians 6:12)

…………………………

For some reason, I have a hard time believing that God cares about my eating habits. But reading through this book with a group of women from church, I am little by little accepting that God does care. Because it obviously affects me a lot and occupies quite a few of my thoughts. So my main goal with tracking my eating this way is to be mindful of when and why I’m eating, so that I stop running to food for reward and pleasure, and start running to God instead.

It just so happens that today is the first day of Lent. In the past, when I’ve given something up for Lent, it hasn’t had the desired result of helping me be more mindful of my relationship with God. But this, I think, has potential. So I am going to commit to tracking my food this way for Lent. 40 days.

Here we go.

Do you observe Lent? 

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Living in the moment, trusting, thanking.

21 Feb

As I started my “day off” yesterday with reading the Bible, I kept thinking of things that I wanted to accomplish. Clean the house, run 3 miles, have lunch with Travis, work on my book, write a blog post, get my bike set up, go through old books, spend time relaxing with a book, catch up on DVR-ed TV episodes, get files off old computer… With each new thought surged the threat of being overwhelmed. There are too many things to get done! But I wanted this day to be relaxing! 

My ability to turn a day off into a stressful situation really is a remarkable talent.

I was able to stifle those thoughts, though, because of something God has been teaching me over the past couple of months. You see, I used to live my whole life like that. I was paralyzed by all the things I wanted to accomplish, and overwhelmed by the things I hadn’t even started. Just like with running, negative thoughts were my companion then too.

I’m too tired to accomplish all of this.

If I do this, I won’t have time to do what I really want to do.

Why am I always the one who has to do this? 

I don’t have enough time to get everything done.

I can’t do what I really want because that’s wasting precious time.

But God has kindly called me back to the present, time and time again, saying, Don’t look at the whole week, the whole day or even the whole hour. Live in the moment and do what is right before you now.

So yesterday, I continued on with my Bible reading, then worked on my book for 45 minutes, went on my run, did strength training, had lunch with Travis, made 3 runs to my local bike shop, and then relaxed. I watched Desperate Housewives, blogged and caught up on quite a few posts in my Google Reader. Did I accomplish everything I had thought about at the beginning of the day? No. But I went through the day peaceful –  because I was trusting God, instead of my own agenda.

Doesn’t this sound very similar to the idea behind running long distances? Don’t focus on the whole distance at once, or how many miles you have left to go. Focus on the present moment. Put one foot in front of the other. Trust your training.

As I was driving to work this morning with a feeling of dread, I was telling God about why I wasn’t excited to go to work, and it dawned on me that my feeling of dread comes from a fear that I’m insufficient. That I’ll be given a task that I can’t handle. I’ve joked about most of my jobs, “A monkey could do it.” But this job? And the job that I had in 2010 that made me so stressed? Definitely not monkey jobs. My job is challenging. And that’s why I don’t like it.

Not that I don’t appreciate a good challenge (hey, I’m training for a full marathon, right?), but I’m terrified of failure. Again, negative thoughts abound.

I won’t have the energy to focus when I need to.

I don’t know how to make the project go better.

I won’t write what they’re looking for.

I don’t have the know-how to be a marketing professional.

When I realized that, and started connecting the dots between the negative thoughts I have while running, relaxing, working, and just being, I was in awe. How did I not know that negative, self-defeating thoughts were so much a part of my life? They’re everywhere!

This is something that still stuns me: I’m a pessimist. All my life, I had been confused by the question, “Is the glass half empty or half full?” (What kind of question is that anyway?) I just assumed I was an optimist because that was the good thing to be. Everyone likes an optimist. Pessimists are annoying. But that’s me.

{see the irony?}

But God has been doing a work in my heart for the past couple of months, ever since I started reading Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts. On Christmas morning, I stood in our church sanctuary, my soul drowning in ingratitude, only focused on how much I wished my life were different. I started reading Ann’s book after that service. In the second chapter, she laid my heart bare: “Non-eucharisteo, ingratitude, was the fall — humanity’s discontent with all that God freely gives.”

After reading that, I saw ingratitude everywhere in my life. In fact, every single one of my struggles could be traced back to being ungrateful. When my schedule was busy, I focused on the one thing I didn’t have: rest. When I was reading blogs, I focused on my lack of readers and popularity. When I was running, I focused on my lack of speed. When I was hiking, I focused on my lack of breath. When I got Christmas gifts, I only focused on what I didn’t get. Instead of being thankful for a free schedule, I focused on not having a baby. I focused on not being busy when I was and on being busy when I wasn’t. I was never satisfied.

And I see all the threads of these struggles intertwining – my perfectionist tendencies, how easily I get overwhelmed, my negative thought patterns, my constant dissatisfaction, my judgment of myself and others, my fear of the future, my confusion about life. All these struggles are just different facets of one struggle: trusting God.

When I worry that I won’t be enough or that I’ll fail, I’m not trusting God to provide grace to me in my moment of need.

When I analyze my life and worry that I’m not living up to God’s expectations for me, I’m not trusting that He’s the One ordaining my circumstances. My days are in His book.

When I whine about my slow running pace or curvy body shape, I’m not trusting God’s loving providence of making me slow and curvy.

When I get overwhelmed by my to-do list and all the things I think I *should* be doing, I’m not trusting that God is intimately involved in my life, and working everything together for my good.

As I learned while reading Ann’s book, being thankful in all circumstances requires us to trust God – to open our hands to “all that God freely gives.” We don’t get to judge what we get, and determine whether or not it’s what we wanted or would have chosen. Instead, we get down on humble knees and receive everything that our loving, wise, faithful, good Lord ordains to give us. And then we trust that He will sustain us and give us strength to be faithful in everything He has allowed.

I have seen over the past 2 months that this actually works. Being thankful in all circumstances – actually being intentionally, mindfully thankful for specific things – produces joy, gratitude and contentment. I’m serious. Try it.

So today, I’m grateful that I have a job writing, and that God has promised to bless me in all that I do.

I rejoice that I have two legs that can run, and without pain! Who cares about speed?

I praise God for guiding me through each day, and for guiding my life as a whole, and for giving me these verses to savor:

“I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me.” (Psalm 57:2)

“My God in his steadfast love will meet me; God will let me look in triumph on my enemies.” (Psalm 59:10)
 What are you thankful for today?

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Training Recap: 2/13 – 2/19

20 Feb

Following suit of the past several weeks, this week’s training was a little on the meager side. But now that marathon training has really started, I am no longer allowed to blow off workouts. It’ll actually work out well because Travis has to work on his Master’s report and study for the Professional Engineer exam every night and weekend, and I can be devoted to my training.

This is a pretty boring report:

Monday: Rest

Tuesday: 2 mile tempo run (19:57; 9:58/mile); physical therapy exercises

Wednesday: 5.14 miles on bike trainer (20:00)

Thursday: Rest

Friday: Rest

Saturday: Snowman Stampede 5 Mile

Sunday: Rest

Yep.

……………………….

I spent the majority of my day off today driving to and from my local bike store, Wheat Ridge Cyclery. I ended the triathlon season last year vowing to not ride my tri bike again until I got it fitted because it was just painful to ride. As it turned out, my friend D has done a lot of research on the angles and measurements for a correct bike fit and last Saturday, I took my bike over to her house and she helped me adjust my bike as well as we could without buying new parts. We came to the conclusion that 1) I needed a new stem that would bring my handlebars up and back and 2) I might need a new seat.

I was hopeful that my bike would be comfortable to ride without sinking more money into it but during my quick bike ride on Wednesday night, I only made it 20 minutes before I couldn’t take it anymore. I needed a new seat.

So during my first trip to the bike store, I bought the Specialized Windie XC Sport (143 mm) for $65.

The sales guy recommended it because it had a long nose, which is good for tri bikes where you’re sitting farther forward on your seat than you do on a cruiser, and the cutout, which helps alleviate pressure on the pelvic bone. It also has minimal foam padding, which the sales guy said is optimal for longer rides – lots of padding will make your butt go numb after 2-3 hours on the bike. That is completely counter to logic in my opinion but I took his word for it.

I took it home and tried it out but while I didn’t have any pelvic pain, the seat made my sit bones hurt. I figured it was because the seat was too narrow and of course, this seat has been discontinued so no one has the wider size.

Back to square one. On my second trip to the store, I grabbed the Specialized Ariel Comp Recreational XC (155 mm) for $90. It still has the cutout but has more padding, which I thought might help with the sit bone pain.

It didn’t. And it brought back the pelvic pain.

I decided to see if a new stem would help. Even with moving each seat as far forward as it would go, I still felt too far from the handlebars. So I went back to the store (it sounds ridiculous, but the store was only about 7 minutes away).

The sales guy brought me a “80” length (mm?) stem with a 17% (?) angle for $60. (I know nothing about bicycles.)

My old stem was a 100 and had no angle.

That actually helped a lot. The second seat I bought still didn’t feel good so I ended up putting my old seat back on, just to see. That ended up being the most comfortable combination of the day. And if I can avoid spending $90 on a new seat, I definitely will.

So I’ll get back on the bike every couple days over the next few weeks and see if this really is the solution. I really hope it is so that I can start riding my bike on my trainer without grimacing!

What, you don’t ride in jeans and slippers?

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Race Redemption: Snowman Stampede 5 Mile

19 Feb

Saturday morning, I did not want to race. I woke up with a slightly congested head and I was tiiiired. Travis was too. We were crabby to each other all the way to the race. The 5 mile race started at 9:00 and the race site was about 30 minutes from our house. I had wanted to leave between 7:45 and 8:00; we ended up leaving around 8:05. I wasn’t too worried about it because I wasn’t taking this race that seriously. The idea of beating my most recent (and only other) 5 mile pace of 9:59/mile was laughable.

We parked our car by 8:35, easily grabbed our bib and timing chip, went to the bathroom, and before we knew it, it was time to go. We didn’t have time to go back to our car to stow our race shirts, so we just wore them underneath what we already had on. It was 15 degrees as we lined up at the start line. I was wearing my 2XU compression tights (I think those tights have magical powers) with my UnderArmour tights over them; wool socks; a long-sleeve t-shirt (and race shirt) under my bright yellow Brooks jacket; stretchy gloves; ear warmer; and sunglasses. Even though we didn’t have a ton of time between when we got to the race and when it started, we didn’t feel rushed at all.

We even had time for a pre-race picture:

The first mile of the race was really congested. Travis ran at my pace and we tried to find a balance between getting around people and not burning up all our energy. There were so many people that we didn’t even see when we passed the first mile marker. The first time I looked at my watch was when I heard some women near us talking about pace. My watch read 11:38 and I really hoped that that was not our pace. The effort I was putting forth definitely felt like more than that!

Between Mile 1 and Mile 2, we could see the lead runner coming back on the other side of the river (showoff). I kept running at the fastest pace I felt was maintainable for another 4 miles. We got to Mile 2 at 21:38, but we were also running faster at this point than we had been at the beginning so I couldn’t really tell what our pace was until Mile 3. But I was satisfied to know that we were at least running faster than a 10:45/mile.

The sun was out in full force now and even though it was probably still only 20 degrees or so, we started getting a little too warm. I took off my gloves and ear warmer and since my glasses were fogging up (go figure), I pushed them up to the top of my head. Travis was glad that he was wearing shorts and wished that he also had taken off his fleece.

At the turnaround point, we crossed over the river and headed south along the other side.

We hit Mile 3 at 31:20 (sub-10-minute mile) and were still passing people but my negative thoughts reared their ugly heads. I can’t keep this up for 2 more miles. All of these people I’m passing are going to pass me back before the race is over.

Luckily, since I had been thinking about my mental running battle this week, I was able to fight those thoughts. Yes, I can keep this up for 2 more miles. I’ve already made it 3 miles at this pace. Just focus on the stretch I’m running right now. I can do this. I’ve got this.

Having Travis with me was a good encouragement too. (Doesn’t he have a cute smile? It makes me melt.)

We finally hit Mile 4 at 41:15 (another sub-10!) and I was definitely feeling tired. Travis helped me to keep my pace up and I noticed that I had started to run with my head tilted to one side (a sign I was getting tired) so I tried to be mindful to keep good running form. We crossed back over the river and I recognized where we were. The finish line was close… I could hear the announcer over the speakers. I could see hear people clapping and cheering. Then I could see the finish line through the trees.

We rounded the corner, pushed the last hundred feet, and were done. Official time: 51:30, 10:18/mile. 265/440 overall.

Looking at my splits, I think I would’ve beaten my previous 5 mile time if we hadn’t had to fight so much congestion during our first mile:

 

But it is what it is. I’m just glad that I got out there, ran a fast race, stayed positive, and didn’t give up. 

After the race, we grabbed some bagels, orange slices (my new favorite post-race snack), and stretched a bit. There was a vendor giving out samples of Athlete’s HoneyMilk (which I LOVE) so I had one of those too. Then we headed home, showered and made French toast. I ate mine with syrup and warm berries. Mmmm…

We spent the afternoon organizing our home office in preparation for Travis starting to work from home next week and I took a glorious 2-hour nap. For dinner, we ate Qdoba and then went to a friendly pool tournament with some of Travis’ work buddies. The buy-in was $5 a person and we had an odd number of people so I ended up on a team with Travis and his friend Dave. Our team ended up winning and then the 3 of us played cutthroat to decide who would win the pot. Somehow, I ended up winning. We did give Dave his $5 back, plus an extra $10, since he was definitely the best player on our team (and I most definitely was not) but I walked away $20 richer (not counting our original $10)! Sweet! Travis and I are going to use the money to go out to lunch tomorrow, since I have the day off. I’m thinking Yogurtland. 😉 $20 will buy me quite the dish.

I’ll be posting race reviews later this week, for this race and the Ralston Creek Half. The short version is that both races were very well-organized and I would totally recommend them.

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New Job for Him, and Hills for Me

17 Feb

Thanks for the encouraging comments on my post yesterday. I was having a rough day all around – mostly because I was absolutely exhausted. I may or may not have slept through an hour-long conference call… and then slept for 10.5 hours last night.

After work, I went to a going-away happy hour for Travis and one of his co-workers because… Travis got a new job! Next week is his last week at his current company and he’ll start his new job the following Monday (2/27). He’s pretty excited. He’ll be doing the same type of engineering (hydraulics and hydrology – what they call H&H) but he’ll be with a smaller company (1 of 2 full-time employees) and will be working from home. He’s also getting a fairly significant pay raise, which will definitely help us be more aggressive in paying off our mountain of student loans.

The thing I’m actually most excited about with this new job, though, is that the dogs will no longer have to live 80% of their lives in our laundry room. I’m really hoping Katy will mellow out – she kind of went berserk when I started back to work after being unemployed and hasn’t gone back to being her regular self.

After sleeping in until 7:00 this morning, I feel more human but I’m still planning on not doing a workout tonight, and on going to bed at a grandma time. Last night, Travis and I both went to bed at 8:30, no joke. He had stayed up really late the night before playing a hockey double-header and I had gone to bed too late all week long. No shame. I’m taking full advantage of blowing off workouts while I can because for the next 18 weeks, there will be none (or very little) of that ::knock on wood::.

Speaking of the next 18 weeks, I got inspired today and updated my training plan with intentional hill days:

After looking more closely at the elevation profile of Mayor’s Marathon, I realized that its hills are similar in length and climb to the ones I ran during the Ralston Creek Half. So… I have to start training on hills, and real hills, not the wimpy little things I was calling hills. Lucky for me, Colorado is full of them.

I thought this article was really helpful about defining the different types of hill work and several articles (including that one) say that because hill workouts are so intense, they should only be done once or twice a week. I went for once a week during the first half of my training, and then once every 2 weeks for the last half. I didn’t want to be too ambitious because this is still only my first marathon.

As with everything, I’m going to continue to play things by ear. If I’m feeling strong, I’ll incorporate some more hills. And if I’m feeling tired or injured, I’ll back off. Adding the hill designation to my schedule was just to get the hill workouts on my radar and give me something of a strategy with timing.

And the most exciting part of my day… it’s Friday and I get a 3-day weekend! Glorious.

Do you get a 3-day weekend?

 

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A Mental Game

16 Feb

I have to admit that the humbling experience of last Sunday’s race has sort of taken the wind out of my sails. It’s not surprising I guess. Just like I can have a runner’s high for the week after I blow my race expectations out of the water, I can also have a runner’s low for a week after failing yet another half marathon PR attempt (and getting my butt kicked in the process).

Travis and I are registered for the Snowman Stampede 5 mile race this Saturday. Part of me is hoping for redemption. Flat course and temp in the low 30s? You’ve got this. Part of me doesn’t even care. I’m slow. I suck. So be it.

After we busted out 2 miles on Tuesday night in 19:57 (say what?), Travis told me that he thinks my problem is mental. I am able to run faster than I give myself credit for.

I agree that running is a mental sport. You don’t come by a PR easily – you have to fight, dig deep, lay it on the line, and cry tears of simultaneous joy and pain. And in those last miles of a tough race,  my mental state often gets the best of me. I have loads of negative thoughts running through my head:

I can’t do this.

This is too hard.

It doesn’t matter anyway.

Why the f*** am I doing this? 

During the race on Sunday, I was battling those thoughts from the start line.

It’s too cold.

I can’t breathe.

My legs won’t move!

I have 13 miles to go?!?!

Even during my run with Travis on Tuesday, I was holding myself back with negative thoughts.

I can’t run this fast.

My legs are going to wear out.

I’m going to burn out after a mile.

According to iMapMyRun though, I ran the first mile in 10:09 and the second mile in 9:48.

Which makes me tempted to say that Travis is right – I can run faster than I think. But I have to say, after years of being disappointed by my running pace and missing race goals left and right, I allow myself to ask the lurking question I haven’t wanted to acknowledge – Why do I spend so much time on a sport that I’m bad at? Why do I have a hobby that makes me frequently feel insufficient and incompetent?

As I’m staring down this goal of a marathon, and preparing to start training for real next week, I feel scared. Unsure. Do I really want to do this? I’d be lying if I said I just wanted to finish. I want to reach a goal. I want a time I can feel good about, even if only in my own eyes.

There are days when I can graciously accept that I just was not created to be fast. Then there are other days when it makes me frustrated. Discouraged. And I question why I do this in the first place.

I think every runner, no matter how fast or slow, gets to this place. The place where pace, cadence, distance, races, and goals fall flat and you have to go back to square one: reminding yourself why you run. Most runners I know don’t run because they love winning. Or because they love beating other people. They run because they love it, pure and simple.

So that’s where I am. Reminding myself that I run for the love of it. No matter how slow I go, no matter how much I walk, no matter how many minutes tick by past my goal, no matter how “poor” of a runner I feel like, I’m out there because I love running.

Why do you run?

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3 Losers and a Winner.

15 Feb

My cupcakes lost.

I confessed to Travis that I wouldn’t have voted for them either. The cupcakes tasted too much like chocolate cake and I really don’t like chocolate cake.

Travis told me that I didn’t even know what the other options were.

I don’t need to know.

Loser #1.

……………………..

Saturday night, we went to a college hockey game. Travis and I both had season tickets almost every year in college and whenever the Gophers come out to Colorado to play DU (we drove down to CC in Colorado Springs once but it’s a haul just for a game), we try to go to one of the games.

Traffic on the way down was hideous. But we made it with plenty of time to park, eat at Noodles & Co (which really brought back the memories, since I worked at Noodles my senior year of college), and walk to the stadium. The cold walk brought back memories too – of freezing our butts off every time we stepped outside December through March. I have to say, I don’t miss the tingling sensation of your legs thawing out.

The game was really good – the Gophers scored 2 goals in the 1st period.

But then they let one slip in the 2nd. And another in the 3rd. The game went into overtime and almost immediately, DU scored and the Gophers lost. Seriously, Gophers. You were ranked #1 in the nation and you couldn’t win the one time we get to watch you all year?

Loser #2.

……………………..

Pictures from the race were finally online yesterday.

Let’s just say they’re not my greatest looks.

First, I faked my happiness {nobody’s that happy during a race}:

And then I didn’t give a crap:

Yes, that was the finish line.

Not even pretending to care.

Loser #3.

………………………

Last night, I cooked salmon, dill couscous, and brussel sprouts for dinner. Why I decided to cook (what I thought was) one of the most disgusting vegetables for a special dinner is beyond me. I had tried them once a couple years ago and hated them. But I guess I like a good underdog so I gave them another chance.

Dear Brussel Sprouts,

Just when I thought you couldn’t possibly be any dumber, you go and do something like this…

and totally redeem yourself!

Signed, 

Your Valentine

I prepared them using this recipe, except that I omitted the cheese because they were so good.

The Winner.

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V-Day Cupcakes and February Goal

14 Feb

Yesterday, Travis entered a dessert contest – a $5 donation to the Children’s Home got him a chance to win (what, I have no idea). So he texted me around 3:30 –  would I “help him” make a dessert (aka make a dessert for him)?

Lucky for him, I like baking.

Unlucky for him, I refused to go to the grocery store. That’s why I dragged my butt to the store on Sunday night!

Lucky for him, I had a box of Red Velvet cake mix in the cupboard that I had actually been thinking about making for Valentine’s Day dinner anyway. So cupcakes it was. And what says Valentine’s Day more than Red Velvet?

Usually when I make cupcakes, they are hideous but delicious. This time, since it was for a contest and all, I decided to use a trick I had read about – piping the frosting onto the cupcakes using a Ziploc bag.

After I baked and cooled the cupcakes, I whipped up some frosting using powdered sugar, butter, milk and vanilla (recipe from Betty Crocker cookbook). Cream cheese frosting is 1,000x better but I really didn’t want to go to the store. I spooned the frosting into a Ziploc freezer bag, cut a small portion of one bottom corner off, and piped away. Some sprinkles and sugar hearts later, and I have to say that they are the best-looking cupcakes I’ve personally ever made.

Travis better win. All’s I’m sayin’.

……………………………

I did a pretty goal job on updating you all on my January goal but I’ve been mums-the-word on my February goal (except that it’s posted here). I haven’t forgotten about my goal of reading or listening to the entire Harry Potter series – in fact, I’ve already listened to the first book and have a pretty good start on the second.

But I’m not going to finish all 7 books in one month, let alone the shortest month of the year (thanks for nothing, leap day). So it’s more of a rolling goal that I plan to be done with as fast as I can listen to the books. I can hook my iPod up to my new car stereo and I’ve been listening to Harry Potter on my drive home every day. And if you’ve never listened to the Harry Potter audiobooks, you should. The reader won an Emmy/Grammy (??) for his performance. He does different voices for each character and really helps you get into each scene. I’m enjoying them a lot. Anyway…

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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