Tag Archives: clothes

And the marathon winner is…

9 Nov

Since work is still pretty slow, I used the majority of last Friday to compare, via detailed spreadsheet, every marathon I could find in the months of March, April, May and June of next year that fit my criteria of being either a big race (5,000+ marathoners) or well-supported by spectators, and being in a location that could double as our 5-year wedding anniversary trip. So I looked up airfare, race reviews, course information, number of participants and local attractions. The (most likely) winner?

The Eugene Marathon on April 29.

Eugene, Oregon, is about 2 hours from Portland and even though it’s a smaller marathon (about 2,000 finishers last year), the race drew 8,000 athletes with the other events and since running is so popular in this city nicknamed Track Town USA, a lot of spectators come out to support. The course is flat and beautiful from what I’ve read. And Oregon is a state that neither Travis nor I have ever been to, but always wanted to visit. I mean, how can you not get excited about the food cart craze?

So I have adjusted both my base building and marathon training plans (updated on this page), since this race is a month earlier than the one I thought about doing in Minnesota. It’s a long {and boring} story about why I decided against the race in MN but it involves a wedding, a bunch of hills and a lack of both runners and spectators.

But I’ve encountered a little hiccup in my marathon goal: a lack of motivation.

It’s a bad sign when I can barely muster up enough willpower to force myself out for a 3 mile run. What is going to happen to me when I have to do 8, 9, even 10 miles on a work day? I’m serious. How am I going to manage that?

I’ve thought about running during lunch (although the max there will be probably be about 5 miles, since I’m slow and lunch can’t last forever). I’ve thought about doing 2-a-days and splitting those long runs into morning and evening runs, or lunchtime and evening runs (I think that would work fine because I’d still have my continuous long run on the weekend). I’ve even thought about breaking up the mileage between the track and the dreadmill treadmill at my gym. Because I don’t think I could stand to run a full 10 miles, either in 100 circles or in place.

I need to dip into my reserve of this:

I’m trying to not think about how much I don’t want to go on a 4 mile run after work today. I’d rather go lay on the couch and stuff my face with leftover corn bread. But that’s what I did last night so… I should probably go.

The deal I’m making with myself is that I have to at least get all my planned mileage and weight training in. If I want to skip my cute little cardio workouts, fine. But no skipping runs. And no skipping weights. Because I am not going to get injured this time. Remember?

The cupcake image reminds me of a shirt idea I had for the marathon – Will Run for Cake. Which turned out to not be such a unique idea after all… I’ll have to change mine to say something like:

That’s a million dollar idea right there.

I like this shirt too (from gypsyrunner.com):

I saw a girl at the Malibu Half last year that was wearing that shirt and I immediately thought, “That’s the shirt I need!” But until I saw them at the Denver Rock ‘n’ Roll expo, I had only been able to find the shirt in cotton. Apparently, those who run like turtles don’t sweat.

Remember that you still have time to enter my 400th blog post giveaway!

How do you stay motivated to train or exercise?

Have you ever done 2-a-days?

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Nifty Thrifty

1 Nov

For some reason, when we returned from our Labor Day trip to North Carolina, I had the wild hair to go to the thrift store and found some great deals. I kept forgetting to take pictures until last night. Here for your viewing pleasure:

2 pairs of pants, 2 skirts, a dress plus a couple of Christmas decorations = $40.

I wore this to my cousin’s wedding at the beginning of October with a black sequined sleeveless shirt, a 3/4 sleeve sweater that matched the blue/purple color, black tights and black boots.

This I wore to my sister-in-law’s baby shower with brown leggings, brown boots and a brown belt.

These pants are from J. Crew and are my best find of all. They fit me well, they’re comfy and they’re very fall-y.

I also really like these jeans from Banana Republic. They’re wide leg so very roomy and comfy. The only drawback is that they’re a size bigger than I would normally buy so I have to wash them often or else they’re a little too big.

I didn’t take an individual pic of the gray skirt but it’s from Old Navy and hits right above the knee. Nice and modest for work (and who am I kidding, I feel exposed with anything shorter that I wear without tights… I’m getting so old and stuffy!) The dress and other skirt were no-name brands.

Unfortunately, I don’t really have any trick or tips to finding good deals. Except maybe find a thrift or discount store that consistently has good stuff? That’s been my secret. Also, be prepared to comb the racks. Patience is golden.

And my latest find…

Skinny jeans. (worn with a top I also found at the thrift store)

I wore them to work today with my calf-high brown boots – on the outside! First time I’ve ever been able to do that. I don’t feel quite as poser-ish as I had initially thought I would. But I do feel slightly poser-ish. I think, for me, it’s because I would never have bought skinny jeans, except that they practically allow me to tuck my jeans into my boots. Not that I have anything against them – clearly. I’m just not a person who really wears trends unless I really like them. I do like these jeans though – they’re like 18% spandex so they’re very comfy. And good to have for holiday season. 🙂

Do you shop at thrift stores? What’s the best thing you’ve found?

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What I picked up…

31 Oct

Saturday morning, I made a very necessary run to Walgreen’s for coffee and then spent a long time in the morning researching in the Bible what I wrote in my recent post on grace. I think this is going to be the hypothesis or main focus of the book I’m slowly attempting to write.

After getting dressed, I decided what to make for dinner (usually I choose 3 recipes, but this time, I chose 4 because of the little butternut squash from our garden I want to use up):

Minted Rice with Garbanzo Curry

Chicken and Dumplings

Tomato Tortellini Soup

Butternut Squash Lasagna

Then I made my shopping list, and went to my favorite grocery stores: Sunflower Farmer’s Market and Safeway.

Here’s my haul:

Pantry Items: 2 loaves of bread, instant brown rice, condensed tomato soup, vegetable broth, tomato sauce, garbanzo beans, raisin bran granola, Multi-Grain Cheerios, Hint of Salt Triscuits, cinnamon sticks, whole cloves, sun-dried tomatoes, butternut squash puree, cream of chicken soup, cream of mushroom condensed soup, dried apricots, walnuts, chocolate chips (which I realized after I took this pic should have been included with the baking stuff)

Baking Goods: 2 cake mixes (bought to make these easy pumpkin cupcakes and they were Buy 1, Get 1 Free), Bisquick, brown sugar, white and semi-sweet chocolate chips (also B1G1)

Produce: baby carrots, Honeycrisp apples, bananas (usually I buy more than this but we have quite a few vegetables left over from last week)

Perishables: shredded Parmesan, shredded mozzarella, half & half, pepperjack cheese, roasted red pepper hummus, mint leaves

In case you’re curious, I spent a little less than $100 on all of that (plus sandwich bags and Febreze, unpictured).

Then I checked out more books from the library than I could possibly read before their due date (thank goodness for online renewal!):

I started reading Beautiful Outlaw by John Eldredge and LOVE it so far.

I also set out our green tomatoes in the sun to ripen.

{Notice Katy in the window – that’s how she alerts us she wants to come in.}

Instead of diving right into the books though, I went on a 3 mile tempo run with the dogs (32:43) and then did the first 30 minutes of YogaX.

Saturday night, we babysat a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old for some friends. It was so much fun! As I sat by the 1-year-old’s crib waiting for her to fall asleep, she rolled over and I was struck by how much they are little people, with little quirks and personalities. And I realized, if I can be so fond of someone else’s kids, how much am I going to love my own kids someday, whether they are biological or adopted! I am still praying for the grace to wait patiently until the time is right for us to try. Soon…

Sunday, we went to church, ate lunch (leftover Tortellini Soup, which was delicious but very rich – would be good as a small appetizer instead of the main course, or with less cream), and after starting laundry and cleaning the bathrooms, did Travis’ favorite thing – shopping. Like a lot of men, he is very hard on his clothes and has one by one destroyed his good work jeans by either getting them irreversibly dirty or wearing  holes in the knees, until he was down to one pair of jeans. So shopping it was. I was also on the hunt for a pair of skinny jeans to wear under my new boots.

We looked at the thrift store first because I have been able to find a lot of good deals there for myself, but there wasn’t a good selection. So we headed over to the Eddie Bauer outlet at Denver West. Travis has had luck there in the past with finding jeans that don’t have holes or any weird washing technique. Often, men’s jeans are very “trendy” and Travis is not. So he sticks to brands like Wrangler, Carhartt, and Eddie Bauer.

We found a couple of great pairs of jeans on the $19.99 rack – it was such a good deal, I was worried that they had been misplaced there (having worked in retail myself and seen that happen many a time). And I was right. They rang up at $49.99 each. But when we said that we had found them on the clearance rack, the clerk was amazingly nice and gave us the sale price. I was floored. He saved us $60!

After that, I asked Travis if I could take a quick detour into a store called Papaya. It looked a lot like Forever 21 and I found that the prices were similar as well. I found a pair of skinny jeans for $24 that fit me well. They’re just a little bit long, so they bunch up around my ankles like this, but since other people wear them that way, I guess it’s ok… Sometimes I feel like such a poser wearing fashions like that! I even felt like the girl manning the dressing room at Papaya gave me a look like “What are you doing shopping here?” I guess I am almost 30… And when I shop at stores like that, I have to get over any hangups I have ever had about pants sizes because the reality is, when a size 6 adult woman shops at a store for juniors, she’s going to be more like a size 11. (Is it just me or have juniors pants gotten smaller since I was a teen? I mean, who can possibly wear those size 1 pants?)

I told Travis as we were leaving that I’m going to be sad when I can no longer shop in stores like that, either because I’m too old or because I can’t fit into anything, because those stores are so cheap! Shopping in adult stores meaning paying adult prices. Ugh… I don’t want to grow up. 

After our shopping trip, I called my mom, finished laundry, cleaned the rest of the house and then went on a 4 mile run (43:30) with Travis and the dogs. The pooches were still exhausted this morning!

Have you read any good books lately? Do you ever feel weird wearing trends?

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Birthday Presents!

11 Aug

One side effect of having oodles of downtime at work has been a growing list of things I find that I want to buy. And it has grown faster than my paycheck. So I made a list of things I was looking at and casually sent it to Travis, saying if anyone *happened to* ask him what I wanted for my birthday, he could tell them those things.

So while my birthday presents this year weren’t really a surprise, they were exactly what I wanted. And I am very thankful to those who gave them to me!

Here’s what I got:

New running shorts and tanktop from my mom and dad. They are the Run Lux II Short shorts and tank from Saucony and they are awesome. The fabric is really soft and the shorts don’t ride up at all. I even wore them for my 7-miler last week and still love them! Both the tank and shorts also have small zipper pockets for stowing keys and chapstick. (I wear a medium in both.)

Sugoi Women’s Blast Tri Tank from Travis’ family and New Balance Women 2 Go capris from my parents. Love and love!

I’m a huge fan of the big pocket and reflector details on the back of the tank. The capris also have a pocket on the outside back and inside front. (I also wear a medium in both of these.)

I am planning on wearing my new tri top for the Olympic Tri (coming up in about 2 weeks!) and can’t wait until the weather cools off a bit so I can wear the capris for running (they’re cute enough that I can just wear them around too).

And they have magic powers to make your butt look good.

And last but not least, my present from Travis: 2XU compression tights (I don’t have a picture of me wearing them but they are just as tight as the capris, only the legs are longer).

I have worn these to bed about 4 times and I really believe that they help my legs recover from hard workouts. I wore them last week after my 7-miler when my legs were really sore. When I woke up the next morning, my legs felt almost brand-new. Other times, I’ve noticed that while my legs are still a little sore from hard workouts, they’re not as tired. These will also be great to wear for running in the fall/winter! The only thing I’m not wild about with these tights is that they only come down to a couple of inches above my ankles, so they’re not as long as I would like. Otherwise, I think they’re definitely worth the pretty penny they cost.

I had decided I wanted the Vensah compression tights because they don’t have the goofy X’s all over them but I didn’t like the waistband on them (too much muffin top action). The waistband on the 2XU tights fit me much better.

I love getting new workout clothes! With the exception of a new tri outfit at the beginning of this season, I haven’t bought any since last spring! Thanks Mom and Dad, and Al and Beth, and my hubby Travis! I’m so fortunate to have such generous parents, in-laws and spouse!

{These are my honest opinions and I am not being compensated in any way – my family spent their hard-earned money on these presents!}

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Fashionistas Sweat Too…

26 Jul

Hi friends!  While Kathy’s away in Minnesota (which I am so excited about because it means I get to see her in person!), I am stopping by to say hi from B. in the Know.

Now, I am a huge fan of fashion.  Hence the whole writing about fashion daily.  But just because one enjoys fashion, does not mean giving up being active.  And with that, being active does not mean having to give up looking stylish.  We mustn’t be afraid of the sweat – that extra glow can add to the look.  Plus, doesn’t every fashionista want to stay healthy?!  Well, that means it is time to break a sweat.

I am personally a huge fan of yoga.  I like to include Sculpt (yoga with weights), Vinyasa, and then a little dance mixed in (have you tried Zumba yet? It is one of my favorite classes – an hour to shake your hips and dance?!  Yes, please).  It is a good combination that works well for my body since I do not have the world’s greatest knees (thank you stunting and tumbling…aka competitive cheerleading) for running, and let’s be completely honest – I’ve never loved to run.  It was not an instant discovery of what was best for me, but I am so glad that I kept looking for that form of working out that was great for me – because now I go because I want to be there, not out of obligation. I get the workout my body needs, but also leave feeling oddly rested and refueled because it is something I love.

One thing that has also been a bonus to doing yoga is discovering all of these wonderful yoga clothes – workout clothes that are cute – who knew?!  There is the obvious brand that sticks out (Lululemon), but my personal favorite would have to be Prana.  A couple other great places I always look for clothes are REI, Midwest Mountaineering (a local Minneapolis store), Victoria’s Secret (love their yoga pants – and they’re way better priced than some alternatives), Lucy, and even GAP.  I have found that having cute clothes to wear while working out helps me enjoy it more.  I used to do the whole baggy t-shirt look but it made me feel frumpy, and honestly, it got in the way of the poses.  So, slowly (which was important, in order to not blow the budget), I started weeding out t-shirts and replacing them with cute workout tops – and now, I would never go back.  The movement is easier, better, and all around more enjoyable.

Do you invest in any of your workout clothes?  What sport or activity do you like to do?  Is there a specific style for that?

Thanks for letting me say hi!  You’re welcome anytime over at my normal home!

Much love,

B

Photo credits 1, 2, & 3

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Keeping an Eternal Perspective: Clothing

7 Jul

{This is the second installment of this weekly series.}

For the past several years, I’ve been wrestling through the practical implications of my faith in Christ. If I say I desire to glorify God and that He’s my greatest treasure, what effect will those declarations have on what I buy, how I spend my time, and what my goals are? While God has given me a lot of insight and I am more at peace about these things that I was before, I still struggle with feeling guilty for buying new clothes, spending 6 hours a week training instead of volunteering, and doing things I enjoy just for pleasure’s sake.

Last weekend while we were backpacking {sorry that I haven’t posted pics yet – last night was busy!}, I had some time Sunday morning to sit alone with my Bible. The passage in Matthew 6 caught my eye:

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

“The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness! “No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and money.

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

These verses showed me the following:

1. God gave me these convictions – I didn’t come up with them on my own.

Ever since I started to analyze my motives and why I do certain things and don’t do other things, God has been changing the way I look at the world. It started out as guilt from buying another $25 t-shirt that I didn’t need when that same money would buy food for a month for a kid over in Africa. It morphed into guilt from doing anything with my time that I alone enjoyed – I was convinced that that was the epitome of selfishness. I couldn’t escape the guilt. It was everywhere. A caramel macchiato from Starbuck’s. A pedicure. A good book. A nap.

But looking at these convictions a different way, I see them as God’s way of inviting me into a life of infinite joy (to quote C.S. Lewis again) – a life of love, selflessness, freed from the snares of material possessions and keeping up with the joneses. He has given me a desire for a simple life:

  • to wear the clothes I own
  • to make wise purchases (after researching options nonetheless!)
  • to fully use everything I do spend money on (and make sure I’ll fully use it before buying it)
  • to treat my possessions well so that they last
  • to only replace things when they need replacing
  • to make the effort to be creative in making things last longer

Anyone who knew me in college would not recognize the girl writing this post today. I am that different in my approach toward money. And God has shown me that this is His work in my life, refocusing my attention on things that are unseen and eternal, rather than things that are seen and transient.

Oswald Chambers’ devotional yesterday said it perfectly:

God gives us a vision, and then He takes us down to the valley to batter us into the shape of that vision. It is in the valley that so many of us give up and faint. Every God-given vision will become real if we will only have patience. Just think of the enormous amount of free time God has! He is never in a hurry. Yet we are always in such a frantic hurry. While still in the light of the glory of the vision, we go right out to do things, but the vision is not yet real in us. God has to take us into the valley and put us through fires and floods to batter us into shape, until we get to the point where He can trust us with the reality of the vision. Ever since God gave us the vision, He has been at work. He is getting us into the shape of the goal He has for us, and yet over and over again we try to escape from the Sculptor’s hand in an effort to batter ourselves into the shape of our own goal.The vision that God gives is not some unattainable castle in the sky, but a vision of what God wants you to be down here. Allow the Potter to put you on His wheel and whirl you around as He desires. Then as surely as God is God, and you are you, you will turn out as an exact likeness of the vision. But don’t lose heart in the process. If you have ever had a vision from God, you may try as you will to be satisfied on a lower level, but God will never allow it.

It has been a long, hard struggle to get to where I am in accepting that God is in this. That God is calling me to a simple lifestyle and to give up caring about fashion, money, beauty, decorating, etc.

That said…

2. Sanctification looks differently for everyone.

I have just recently realized this on an even deeper level. For so long, I had been frustrated with feeling guilty for shopping “just because” because I had a list of reasons why I believed I could shop in faith. We tithed every month, I wasn’t spending an extravagant amount of money, and the biggest one, I saw other Christian women doing it. If they could do it, why couldn’t I?

A recent situation opened my eyes. There is a young married couple at our church whose wedding I attended. The toasts given by their families and friends all praised this couple for being very godly and strong in their faith. The time I had spent around them in a group setting seemed to agree with those assessments. I viewed this couple as two people who “had it together,” especially in their approach to money (which moved them up a notch in my book). Then I spent some time one-on-one with the woman and heard about their marital struggles, ones very common to young married couples. I realized that they were just human too.

And that got me thinking… those women with the latest fashions at church – I don’t know what’s going on in their hearts. They very well might be able to buy new clothes in faith, but that also could be an area of their lives that God hasn’t yet refined and sanctified.

All that to say, I can’t judge which of the Spirit’s promptings I’m going to follow or not based on what other people are doing. Oswald Chambers’ devotion for June 28 says, “At first, Jesus Christ through His Spirit has to restrain you from doing a great many things that may be perfectly right for everyone else but not right for you.” These things that I have been fighting may be perfectly right for others to do, but not me. I have to pay attention to my personal convictions.

All this time, I had wanted to go back to the way things were before. I was rejecting this new way to live. Instead of viewing it as God’s invitation to me into greater, deeper joy resulting from letting go of materialism and my own assessment of What I Should Be Able to Do With Christian Freedom, I had been fighting it and thinking there was something wrong with me, since I was struggling with this and no one else was. But as I drove to work yesterday, I realized that in doing that, I was assuming that I should be “above that.” I should be above materialism and selfishly using my time for myself. Well guess what? I’m not. God wasn’t fooled for one moment either. He knew all along what I’m really like on the inside. The joke’s on me.

3. For me, buying new things should be the exception and not the rule.

You remember my sandal post from a while back? I still haven’t bought any. I can’t decide which ones I want. Actually, I had decided which ones I wanted but then they were out of my size. Boo. I just don’t want to buy the wrong ones and then regret my decision. So I’m at a standstill on that one.

But I don’t feel guilty about wanting those sandals. The difference between this purchase and other past purchases that have given me guilt is that: 1) I’ve been wanting these sandals since I started my new job 2 months ago and 2) They wouldn’t be just another version of something I already have 10 of. So those are my new guidelines for purchases (notice that I said guidelines, not rules): Wait until I know of something I would really like and would be very useful to me. Research the options and pray for the Spirit to convict me if I shouldn’t buy them. Go purchase said item sans guilt. My other strategy is to mention all of the things I would like to Travis “just in case someone asks what I’d like for my birthday.” 🙂

My cousin is getting married on July 30th and I’ve been thinking about buying a new dress for the occasion. I might go peruse a thrift store to see if there’s anything good but otherwise, I feel like the best decision would be to wear a dress I already own – I have one that is great for summer weddings and I’ve only worn once or twice.

Oh and I’ll wear my new sandals. (I’m going to go look at some tonight.)

What does all of this have to do with keeping an eternal perspective?

For me, the question underlying all of this is: Where does my happiness lie? Is my happiness wrapped up in having cute clothes? Or is it in knowing that Christ died for me and I’m going to heaven someday? Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? When I see a chunk of my paycheck every month going to our church, Campus Outreach, and our Compassion child, am I thankful to God for allowing me to participate in growing His kingdom? Or do I wish I could use that money to go on a trip to Hawaii?

Christ didn’t say to store up treasures in heaven instead of on earth just because that’s a good thing to do, or because they really need more treasures up there. Instead, He said this: “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” God knows our humanity. He knows that we focus on what we treasure. So He says, “Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.” He wants us to keep an eternal perspective.

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Simplifying.

22 Apr

I am on a simplifying kick right now. About a month ago, I took 4 or 5 boxes of clothes, home goods, and books to Arc Thrift Store. Then I went through all of my old magazines, recycled all the ones I’ve read (after ripping out articles I wanted to keep) and making a stack of ones I want to read, which I am slowly but surely making my way through. Once I done with a magazine, I either flag the recipes I want to try and add them to my kitchen stash or I throw it in the recycling bin. I have also started buying groceries for only one week at a time and choosing recipes that include ingredients I already have in my cupboard (some of which have been sitting in there for quite a while).

The way I used to operate was “Buy more.” If I wanted a certain kind of tea but didn’t have it, instead of drinking what I did have, I’d go out and buy more. If we ran out of bread but had buns left, instead of using the buns, I’d go buy more bread. If I saw a nail polish at the store I liked, instead of trying to think if I already had a similar color at home (which I most likely did), I’d just buy more. The result was food going bad, closets packed to the gills, and a bunch of stuff sitting unused. (And I am not a hoarder!)

But now, I am on a quest to eliminate all the excess by systematically using up everything I currently own before buying more (if I need to). I have already gotten rid of everything I didn’t need: mugs we never used, duplicates of kitchen gadgets, a plethora of water bottles, clothes that are just a bit too tight or short left from my pre-Christian days. Now I am getting rid of all the things that I will use, just not all at once. For example, tea bags. I really want to go buy a delicious flavor of Tazo tea but I’ve made a deal with myself that I have to drink up all the tea I currently have (because if I go buy more tea, I’ll never drink the stuff I have right now).

The point I want to get to is that I have nothing cluttering up my home that I don’t actually use on a daily, weekly, or at least monthly basis. If I haven’t used something in years, I have to either use it now or throw it out. It’s amazing how mentally freeing this concept is! Clutter in my house actually adds clutter to my mind. When I don’t have a ton of stuff to worry about, organize, or keep track of, I have time to focus on what really matters.

The other day, I was in Target and happened to spy a very cute purse. I was tempted to buy it because I did still have some Blow Money (cash I can spend on anything I want) left for the month. But I reminded myself, “Simplify,” so I walked away. And I didn’t feel deprived! I already own more purses than I want to but I can’t quite bring myself to get rid of them yet. The question in the back of my mind is always, “What if I regret getting rid of this?” (which isn’t completely crazy because it has happened in the past). So I’m taking things in stages. The first stage is to just not buy more.

My current experiment with this is groceries. Travis and I have decided on a monthly grocery budget of $300. That’s $75 a week. I can buy fruits and vegetables for a week, plan 2-3 good meals (banking on the leftovers for lunch), and still have money for snacks like crackers and cheese, yogurt, cereal, etc. But this month, we hosted a barbeque for friends, which totally threw all of our numbers off. The result has been that we ran out of grocery money on Wednesday, with 10 days to go in April. Whoops.

The old me would beg Travis for more grocery money. We can’t possibly subsist for the next week on what we have in our fridge and cupboards!, I would say. But the new me told Travis about our dilemma and said, “I want to do an experiment to see if we can really make this work. Do I have your permission to not buy any more groceries in April?” (Historically, when we have run low on food, Travis has whined, “We don’t have any food around here!” If he agreed to my experiment, no whining would be allowed.) “You’re asking to not spend any more money? Heck yeah, I agree!” Travis replied.

So the experiment is on. It shall be interesting. I’ll post again in a few days to let you know what we’re eating…or not eating. 😉

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A Shopping Hiatus

21 Nov

Yesterday, I went shopping at Old Navy. I have been on the hunt for a classic, slim jean skirt that I could wear in the winter with my boots. After a few unsuccessful attempts, I finally found exactly what I was looking for at Old Navy on the clearance rack for $8.50. Can’t beat that.

While I was there, I also found a tank top for $3.75, a sweater for $6.00, another sweater for $9.50, and a scarf for $12.50. In college, I never bought things off the sale rack – I felt like it was too much effort. Now, not only am I surprised by how often I find great deals, I am also surprised at how rewarding it is to save money!

All that aside, I left Old Navy feeling slightly guilty. Even though I had only bought things that were on sale (with the exception of the scarf), and only spent $44.34 on 5 items, something didn’t sit right. I went next door to Michael’s and bought some wooden letters to spell HOPE, which I am going to paint pink and orange, decorate with sequins and polka dots and hang up in my office, as well as a basket that I’m going to fill with lots of food and goodies for my friend D for Christmas. That was another $32.67.

As I pulled out of the parking lot with my purchases, an unsettling yet subtle feeling of guilt stole over me. The same feeling I have any time I buy clothes, accessories, or shoes for myself.  Frivolous things. Unnecessary things. Things I cannot justify needing in any way, shape or form. The feeling is then compounded by spending money on anything additional, even if they’re groceries.

At first, it was the needy, hungry kids over in Africa with their sad puppy dog eyes that gave me guilt over a new sweater. Then, it was the homeless in Denver who needed a Thanksgiving meal that cost the exact amount of a new pair of shoes. And just recently, it was the realization that I was shopping for myself during the holidays, when “everyone else” is shopping for other people.

Most forms of guilt are from the devil. I know this because the Bible explicitly disputes the things the devil tells me to feel guilty about. Like I’m not good enough. I can never change. I’m not a loving person. I only think about myself. In Christ, those things are utterly untrue.

But when it comes to clothes and the like, there are no Bible verses to back me up. In fact, the only verses I can find actually point to the opposite:

“Keep your life free from the love of money and be content with what you have” (Hebrews 13:5).

“For they gave according to their means…and beyond their means, of their own free will” (2 Corinthians 8:3).

“Do not let your adorning be external — the braiding of hair, the wearing of gold, or the putting on of clothing…” (1 Peter 3:3).

“But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content” (1 Timothy 6:8).

“But God said to [her], ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the [clothes] that you have [amassed], whose will they be?” (Luke 12:20, bracketed words changed for emphasis)

“If you would be perfect, go, sell what you possess and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow me” (Matthew 19:21).

“Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions” (Luke 12:15).

All of these are very persuasive but none penetrated deeper into my heart than Romans 14:23, “For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.”

Even though I don’t believe that shopping or clothing are sins in and of themselves, and I do believe that many Christians can shop and buy clothes in faith and with thanksgiving, I cannot escape the fact that I, right now, am not one of them. My guilt cannot be rationalized away. Believe me – I’ve tried!

I’ve tried to tell myself that since we donate to our church, support 2 campus ministering couples, and sponsor a Compassion child, I can spend some money on myself. I tell myself that I don’t buy clothes very often – maybe once every couple months – and that I usually find the good deals. I analyze each purchase to make sure it’s exactly what I want and that I love it. I try not to buy things that look exactly like something else I already have in my closet. And hey, I’m a lot more financially responsible than I used to be!!

My heart doesn’t buy it.

Alas, I have come to accept that since I cannot buy clothes in the freedom of faith that I am pleasing God, buying clothes (or shoes, accessories, purses, etc) is, for me, right now, a sin. As I was driving home feeling guilty, God asked me, “So if you feel so guilty every time you shop, why do you keep shopping?” I paused… and then said, “Good point.”

The deep feelings in my heart about this are written very succinctly by Thomas Merton, “The more goods I  keep for my own enjoyment, the less there are for others. My pleasures and comforts are, in a certain sense, taken from someone else. And when my pleasures and comforts are inordinate, they are not only taken from another, but they are stolen. I must learn to deprive myself of good things in order to give them to others who have a greater need of them than I.”

I cannot escape the conviction that I should not be buying more things that I don’t need, at the expense of giving those resources to someone who could really use them. I have been fighting this feeling while continuing to shop because I wanted to know WHY I felt this way. It’s not a sin to shop – so why can’t I shop? But this morning, when I stopped and asked myself why this fight continued and I didn’t just yield to the conviction that shopping was a selfish desire and repent, I realized I hadn’t conceded because deep down, I want happiness in the forms of clothes. I wanted that more than I wanted to obey.

“Surely God isn’t asking me to give up buying new clothes,” I thought.

“But what if He is asking that?”

“Then I guess I have to give it up.”

So here I am, still not understanding exactly why this is a conviction of mine, but out of love for God and a desire to be obedient, I am going to stop buying clothes. I figure I have about 7 years before I’d literally need anything new. (Good motivation to workout I guess!) And I will only start again when I can do it in faith. Sans nagging voice in the back of my head telling me my money would be better spent elsewhere. Maybe this is the beginning of something big.

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Ashamed of Affluence

24 Sep

[Disclaimer: This post is not meant to judge, since I am guilty of these same things! Instead, it is meant to be thought provoking and perhaps convicting. In my own life, those have already happened and now I want these convictions to inspire change in me.]

Last night, our church had our 2nd Focus meeting, when all the church members and prospective members come together and the pastor teaches us about what we, as a church, believe. This class is kind of review for me and Travis since we just took the new members class at Grace last year.

At some point during the night, they ask questions to the congregation like “Anyone in here have a birthday today?” or “Who in here has the highest college GPA?” Whoever has a birthday or the highest GPA gets a prize (book, gift card, etc.) Those are fun questions and it’s always interesting to see who answers what.

But there are a couple of questions they asked that just don’t sit right with me. The first night, they asked, “Who in here has the most pairs of shoes?” Last night, they asked, “Who in here has the most purses?” It probably goes without saying that women won both prizes.

And that’s entirely my point.

What would a church in Africa, a church that has a dirt floor and a couple of poorly constructed benches, a church whose members are in actual danger of dying from starvation or disease caused by dirty water, think about us? Why is a sort of accepted practice, ney even a joke, for women to be such overconsumers, especially in Christian circles?

How can we sit in our comfy warm homes surrounded by mounds of clothes, shoes, and purses and not care about those who have ONE pair of clothes, NO shoes and NOTHING to even put in a purse?

I’ll tell you how: Satan. Satan is the sneakiest, craftiest being on the planet. He is SO crafty that I guarantee you that today, after writing this post, I will wish I had a new pair of pants, new shoes, or see a cute purse that I’d like. Guarantee it. Satan uses this covetous desire in my heart just about every time I step into the sanctuary at church. I’m ashamed to admit that there are many times when I’m so distracted by my envy of other women (whether it be me wanting cute clothes or to be skinnier) that I can’t pay attention to God at all. I hate it. I hate how Satan distracts us.

Oswald Chambers writes in My Utmost for His Highest on September 18, “[Satan] does no come to us on the premise of tempting us to sin, but on the premise of shifting our point of view, and only the Spirit of God can detect this as a temptation of the devil.”

Satan is continually trying to distract us from what really matters. There is a part in The Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis where I believe the uncle demon tells the nephew demon that his goal is just for his target to be comfortable and to think that everything’s ok. Then he will have no need for God.

I believe Satan and his demons do have that agenda and I fall into it often. Just a couple of weeks ago, I asked Travis if I could buy some new clothes. As if I don’t have enough in my closet already!

But here’s the thing. In her book Dangerous Surrender, Kay Warren talks about being gloriously ruined for Christ, meaning being so disturbed and unsettled by the physical condition of other people, by the evil things that happen in this world, that you can never go back to your pleasant, naive little life.

I am almost there.

I would say I’m fully there but then 2 paragraphs ago, I was telling about my desire for new clothes.

I think my personal problem is that I haven’t yet gotten involved in being the solution to these woes. I see the problem but have yet to do anything about it. There are a lot of reasons why I haven’t: busyness, indecision, fear, indifference at times.

But I’ve heard it said that when you’re the one who sees a need, God intends that you be the one who fills it. And I am ready. I am ready to be used.

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I rule.

21 Sep

All of my recent posts have been self-loathing and bemoaning my laziness. But this one will champion my productivity and ambition! A good change of pace if you ask me…

What did I do today exactly? you may be asking. Well, let me tell you.

1. Read my Bible and Day 31 of The Purpose-Driven Life

2. Went to church

3. Went to Walmart and bought toiletries, a plant, a pot, and some soil

4. Went back to church for a children’s ministry meeting

5. Potted new plant and repotted old plant

6. Emailed 3 of my old friends to see what they’re up to

7. Went shopping for hiking pants and scored a $9 North Face t-shirt as well as awesome-fitting ski pants AND hiking pants (I have such a hard time finding pants that fit, that whenever I do find pants that fit, I pretty much buy them regardless of cost. The hiking pants are The North Face and were $50. The ski pants are Columbia and were $65 on sale. Was it my shopping day or what? See pics of my finds below).

8. Called 3 girls from care group to catch up

9. Made 3 cards–a baby shower one, a sympathy one, and a so-sad-you’re-leaving one

10. Went to Home Depot to buy Travis a part he needed for his DIY plumbing job (more about that below)

11. Did laundry

12. Cooked dinner and did the dishes

13. Researched identity theft and submitting a fraud report to the Social Security office (one John Glenn has his name under my SSN! He hasn’t yet spent the millions of dollars I don’t have but I don’t want some guy’s name under my SSN!!)

14. And now I’m blogging!!

It has been a very productive day, I must say. And I love this feeling!! I don’t think I’m quite out of my funk (especially the eating junk food and exercising part) but at least I wasn’t a bum today!

So here are the pics of my way-awesome purchases today:

My sweet-o snow pants and new t-shirt

My sweet-o snow pants and new t-shirt

My ski pants from the front

My ski pants from the front

Close-up of my $9 t-shirt score--LOVE IT!

Close-up of my $9 t-shirt score--LOVE IT!

My hiking pants from the front

My hiking pants from the front

From the back

From the back

My butt--to show how good they fit!

My butt--to show how good they fit!

They're amazing!!

They're amazing!!

Travis was very productive today too, except he has only been working on one stinkin’ project since we got home from that church meeting–installing a pressure-reducing valve on our main water line. The water pressure in our house is something like 130 psi–twice what it’s supposed to be!! So in consideration of our pipes and water fixtures, we’re putting a valve on the water line to reduce the pressure. He’s also putting a water shut-off valve in our coat closet so that we don’t have to go all the way into the crawl space to shut the water off in an emergency. Travis had some defeats at first with the soldering but he’s gotten a long way–as I type, the water is shut off so that he can connect the PRV with the main water line. My fingers are crossed for him!

Our coat closet currently

Our coat closet currently

Travis is down there!

Travis is down there in the crawl space!

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