Tag Archives: exercise

Organizing freedom

22 Feb

A couple weeks ago, I realized that even though I have full days of freedom with nothing that I have to do, and even though I’ve been staying busy with writing, doing errands and chores, reading, and meeting friends for lunch and coffee, my whole volunteering-as-an-editor gig was collecting dust and I had fallen woefully behind on applying for jobs, causing me to apply for a record 15 jobs in one week.

So I decided to organize my freedom by creating a Weekly Schedule. Here ’tis:

Sunday – Free Day

Monday – Study/reading, Household Chores (laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning), Editing curriculum (volunteer gig)

Tuesday – Work on book

Wednesday – Apply for jobs, Freelance writing

Thursday – Coffee with Cathy, Editing curriculum

Friday – Work on book

Saturday – Study/reading

At first, I was pessimistic about my ambitions – since when have I ever been known to follow a schedule like this? I enjoy creating them and fantasizing about my organized schedule but the tedium of follow-through swiftly kills my eagerness. But amazingly, I have actually followed my schedule since I created a week ago. Woohoo! And I do feel so much more organized. Moreover, I have now spent 2 days editing curriculum and finished one whole workbook. Another woohoo!

In addition to my Weekly Schedule, I also created an Exercise Schedule. Normally, I have no problem finding motivation to work out because I honestly enjoy it and love the way I feel afterward. I’m also often training for a race, which is motivation in itself, since I don’t want to go make a fool of myself or suffer through something that could be easy (or at least easier).

But lately, I’ve been enjoying reading and writing so much that it’s been hard to tear myself away long enough to work out. Adding to that, I’m not training for a race (yet), I had been waiting to work out at night with Travis (bad idea), and I’ve been eating cookies of all kinds like it’s my job. So I had been averaging about 3 days a week, instead of my normal 5-6. Unacceptable.

Enter my Exercise Schedule.

Sunday – OFF

Monday – Yoga class

Tuesday – Swim

Wednesday – Run

Thursday – Yoga class

Friday – Bike

Saturday – Free Day (meaning I can do whatever exercise I want)

I think it’s a pretty good little schedule. The yoga classes provide flexibility and strength training and then I’m doing one workout of each triathlon discipline, plus a “fun” day.

However, my stupid little foot has thrown a wrench in my plan. I think it started in yoga, when I noticed that in Warrior 1 and Warrior 2 on the left side, my right ankle collapses to the outside, causing it to get sore and achy. Then I went on two runs outside after a couple month hiatus, which was perhaps a little too ambitious. During my 2nd run, the outside of my right foot started to hurt and ever the idiot, I decided to try to run through it. Bad idea. After a mile and a half, I had to walk and my foot has hurt ever since (about 6 days now). Since I thought yoga would aggravate it, I have skipped the past 2 classes, in hopes that it would get better. But even taking Katy on a 20-minute walk makes it hurt. Poop! So I’m out of running commission for sure, and possibly yoga too. The elliptical is still fine (if I position my foot right) and swimming is totally fine. Maybe I should create a revised Exercise Schedule for the time being… 😉

Anyway, those are my latest attempts at organizing my days of freedom.

 

Tags: , , , ,

Gearing up for triathlon season!

18 Jan

Since going to Mexico, I’ve been a big lazy bum. I worked out twice in Mexico (swimming and elliptical) but since then, I did nothing except take Katy on walks (which is better than nothing). It’s only been a week and a half and I didn’t gain any weight (amazingly, even in Mexico where I felt like I was stuffing my face!) but when I stop exercising, I just feel soft and flabby. I like how exercise makes me feel fit and firm because I’ve used my muscles.

So last night, Travis and I finally went to the Rec (after much hemming and hawing) and then I swam with D this morning. It’s always easier to exercise again when you’ve pushed yourself to just do one exercise session. I realized last night that since I am currently unemployed, soon to have a part-time job, I can take advantage of the classes at my gym that occur in the middle of the day. Yay! There’s a  Yoga class that meets a couple of times a week and a Mat Pilates class on Tuesday. Hopefully those work out (pun not intended)!

Swimming this morning also reminded me of how much fun I had training for triathlons last year. After the half-marathon in November, I was all psyched up to start training for a triathlon but then I lost my job and the reality of me getting a tri bike seems further and further away so all of my motivation fizzled. But I don’t need a tri bike to do another tri. I did 2 last year with my crappy mountain bike and I can do it again! Plus, the triathlon I’m planning on doing with D, the Greeley Triathlon on June 12th, is only a 10-mile bike. And it will be at least a month or 2 before I start biking outside again and who knows, hopefully I’ll have an income by then so I can get a new bike (that would be SO exciting!!)

Now that I have a triathlon picked out, I need to get my training schedule together and figure out when I need to actually start exercising with a purpose. Until then, I will definitely enjoy doing the elliptical, taking yoga/pilates classes, and running when I feel like it. 😉

Tags: , , , , ,

Keeping time

6 May

I think I’ve finally discovered how to handle working at home: treating it like a real job in an office.

Subconsciously, working from home has felt like not working – as in I could justify staying up until 11 and not getting up until 7:30. But then I felt rushed to get in the Word and start working. I never changed out of my pajamas because I exercised at night (why would I take a shower when I would just get all sweaty later?) and after taking a shower, it was time for bed again. I felt like a bum with a job (oxymoron?)

So this past weekend, I decided No More. I was going to start treating my job like a job – and by doing so, hopefully alleviate the guilt and weird “I never left work” feeling that has been plaguing me ever since I took this job.

Well, I’m happy to report that it worked. Today is Day 3 of my “back to work” project and I feel great. I get up at 5:15 and read the Bible, while I eat breakfast and drink my first cup of coffee. Then at 6:15 I go workout (I took today off though). At 7:15, I shower and put real clothes on (novel idea!). At 8:00 am, I sit down at the computer with my 2nd cup of coffee.

I have also decided to start taking lunch breaks. Travis usually doesn’t come home for lunch so I will have time to myself to read – and will hopefully get a lot more read than I do in bed! I haven’t read during lunch yet this week (actually have only taken 1 lunch break yet this week) because I didn’t work Monday, we had a meeting in Boulder on Tuesday over the lunch hour, and I was over at D’s house today during lunch. I took a lunch break yesterday but instead of reading, I blogged. But that is one of my goals as well, so it’s ok. 🙂

I think the reason why I love getting up early to get in the Word and exercise is because I start my day off feeling productive. And I, for some reason, LOVE that feeling. I can think of very few feelings that are better. (So why am I lazy so often, I wonder?) Having more normal hours for work has also helped me feel ok about calling it quitting time after a full day. Who’da thought that I like structure to my day?

On another note, I forgot to post these pics yesterday when I posted about our landscaping.

Travis bought me flowers when he came home from his last levee inspection. What a sweetie!

Travis rubbing Katy's belly. Katy loves that!

Little Katy is so cute.

A pic just because

Now I have to go watch Bones!

Tags: , , , ,

One Month…

16 Feb

until I’ll be sitting on a beach in Mexico with a Kahlua Mudslide in my hand, the sun on my face, and the sand beneath my feet.

Since yesterday marks a month until our vacation, I thought I would give an update on my goals for 2009 and the deal Travis and I have to not eat sweets, except on Sundays.

First, I’ve been doing pretty good with my goals. I haven’t met them all every week (I have ended up missing a day in the Word here and there) but I have met almost all of them most weeks.

Spiritually, I have been memorizing one verse each week, listening to a sermon (besides the one in church on Sunday) every week, and studying my Bible every day.

Physically, I have been exercising 5-7 days a week, though I haven’t strictly adhered to the schedule of what I would do each day. As much as I try to coax my personality into being planned and predictable, it’s just not me. I fly by the seat of my pants, exercise included. So I have been mixing it up between step aerobics (after taking a 2-week hiatus because of the nice weather more given to running), running outside, elliptical intervals, and 30 Day Shred with Jillian Michaels (a killer workout if I do say so myself!)

My eating has been pretty good. I do really well during the week because I have the structure of work hours and I bring all my food to work so I can’t eat more food by just walking into the kitchen. As such, weekends are a little more sketchy. I tend to overeat carbs when I’m tired and lazy, which frequently happens on the weekends (cereal being the most frequent victim).

This past weekend, Valentine’s Day and then our V-Day dinner last night (which was delicious and wonderful, BTW!) should have made out for a huge calorie blowout but I actually planned out my meals, controlled my hunger and kept active. So it was a lot better than it could have been.

Though I have still been counting calories every day in preparation for Mexico, I really want to go back to Intuitive Eating after the vacation. I’m sick of worrying about the calories in every single bit of food and staying under a certain limit. But I will say that it has helped me get an understanding of how much food I need each day, what portion sizes look like, and how much easier it is to eat 500 calories than it is to burn it off through exercise (or even to just cut it out of your diet!).

As far as our little n0-sweets deal, it has been going surprisingly well. There are those stressful days when we both long for chocolate (me) or a Mountain Dew pick-me-up (Travis). But I’d say we have stuck to the plan about 95%. Travis caved and had a pop a few weeks ago and then had some Girl Scout cookies today. I have had a few caramel lattes and frappucinos from Starbuck’s (though they were all skinny ones with no whip!)

In a way, I actually like having this deal going because then I have an excuse to say no when people offer me cookies and cake and candy at work. It’s a strange phenomenon that ladies on The Nest’s Health and Fitness board have observed: eating is a social thing. By turning down someone’s brownies, they somehow feel that you are turning them down as people. Like if you don’t want their chocolatey, gooey goodness, you don’t want to be their friend either.

I noticed this at my last job back in Minnesota. Every Monday, in order to encourage their employees to come to work on time (and let’s face it, come to work period), they would cater in donuts and bagels. Well, donuts pretty much have negative nutritional value and bagels are 300-400 calories of refined carbs that leave you hungry an hour later so needless to say, I always ate my breakfast at home.

Maybe it was their goodwill but I swear, because I was one of very few people who remained at their desk instead of racing to the door the minute the donuts were delivered, people went out of their way to make sure I knew the donuts had been delivered.

“Kathy, there are donuts in the kitchen.”

“Uh huh, thanks!”

“Kathy, did you know that the donuts are here?”

“Yep, thanks! I just don’t want one.”

“Kathy, did you get a donut? There aren’t many left in there!”

“No I didn’t get one but really, I’m O-K.”

Dare 2 Share is not immune to this…but then, I don’t know if any American corporate workplace is.

Anyway, I feel like because I have this deal with Travis, I finally have an acceptable excuse to not indulge every whim that comes along. Because wanting to be healthy and not each tons of extra empty calories is a silly thing for a girl like me to do, right?

Well, this post that was supposed to be short has turned into a post that is accidentally long. So I’m going to go to bed now!

Tags: , , , , , ,

Let’s try this again…

3 Jan

Several months ago, I created a daily plan for the spiritual and physical disciplines. It was great for a little while but ultimately, it fizzled out.

This is one of my biggest personal tug-of-wars: I would love to be disciplined. I envy those who are. I try to be disciplined. I create schedules and plans and task lists. But my personality just isn’t disciplined. I don’t naturally lean toward rules, structure, plans. What usually ends up happening is that my spontaneity and “what I want to do” in that moment trumps whatever I had “planned on doing.”

But doggoneit, I’m going to try it again, as one of my New Year’s Goals is to strengthen my relationship with the Lord. This time around, I’m going to be more realistic than ambitious. I won’t bore you with the minute details but this is the summary of my spiritual plan:

  • Read the Bible and journal my thoughts/observations everyday (I am going to go through all of the epistles, starting with Romans).
  • Pray everyday.
  • Memorize one verse a week (and recite them on Sunday morning).
  • Listen to one sermon a week (not including church on Sunday).

I think that that plan is doable. And let’s be honest, I find plenty of time to watch TV and read magazines…so why can’t I find time to do these things? There is no reason why I can’t.

As for the physical discipline, I am more consistent but I still haven’t really followed a schedule. But here’s my new weekly rundown:

Sunday: REST

Monday: Pilates or Yoga

Tuesday: 30-45 min cardio

Wednesday: aerobics class (at 5:30 AM!)

Thursday: 30-45 min cardio or REST

Friday: aerobics class (at 5:30 AM)

Saturday: Pilates or Yoga

This schedule may change if/when I decide to start training for a race (once it starts getting nice again outside…which should be happening in about February 🙂 ).

Of course, this exercise schedule is a complement to eating healthy. I’m shooting for 50% carbs, 25% fat, 25% protein. I’ve been tracking my food for about a month and I’m surprisingly close to that everyday. I’m hoping that soon, I can stop tracking…it’s kind of a nuisance. I keep telling myself that it’s about being healthy and treating my body with respect because it is a temple of the Holy Spirit–that means not feeding it high-cal, high-fat foods or feeding it too much/too little food. If I fuel my body correctly, it will run correctly and I will live a long, happy life (God willing).

So this is my attempt at being disciplined. Maybe I should set up a reward system…like a bulletin board that I get to put stars on for every week that I achieve my goals 🙂

That was actually supposed to be a joke, but now I’m seriously thinking about it. That could be a good motivator… 

Just want to wish everyone good luck with any New Year’s Resolutions Goals that they’re making! I’ll continue to update with my victories and losses–let me know yours too!

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Back home.

30 Dec

Well, we made it back to Colorado. Our drive back was uneventful, thank God. We left Rochester around 9:15 AM and drove into our driveway in Wheat Ridge around 9:55 PM. Not bad.

I always feel weird saying we’re “back home” because in my mind, it’s an enigma. I feel like Minnesota is home. When people asked me about my plans for Christmas, I always said “We’re going back home to Minnesota.” But then, when we drive back to Colorado, we’re coming back to the place we live 50 weeks out of the year. We own a house here. We have jobs here. Our church is here. We have good friends here. It has definitely become more familiar and comfortable to live out here but I don’t know if it necessarily feels like home…or if it ever will feel that way.

Anyway, for our last few days in MN, Travis and I hung out with my family in Rochester, where I grew up. I hadn’t been back in about a year and a half, on account of Travis’ cat allergy (last year’s Thanksgiving and Christmas were celebrated at my parents’ cabin in Pine City, MN). But this year was supposed to be different. Travis had gotten acupuncture treatment for his cat allergy and the doctor had proclaimed at his last checkup that Travis was cured. Well, he wasn’t. His allergy is still there. It may be slightly weaker but nonetheless, we were forced to retreat to the Extended Stay America instead of the nice, cozy, queen bed downstairs.

Friday night, after Travis and I arrived in Rochester, my whole family (minus Jeremy and Jen, who couldn’t come up because of Jen’s new job) ate dinner and watched Wall-E. I think that is such a cute movie. Wall-E has cute, little puppy dog eyes. Waaaaaalllllleeeee!!!

Saturday, we had breakfast around 9:30, then opened presents (I got a new 4.5 quart saucepan!), and then went to see Seven Pounds at the theater. That was a good movie. It was all I could do to not break down sobbing at the end. So sad. Travis and I were talking about it later…the movie really illustrates humanity’s desire (and need) for a Savior. [Warning: spoiler.] Tim (Will Smith) gives his life, organs, and house to help 7 people as a way to repay the 7 deaths he caused (including that of his fiancee) in a car accident. At once, his ultimate decision seems both selfless and selfish. Selfless because he’s voluntarily giving up his possessions and even his life to help random people (who he has proven are “worthy” because they are “good people”). Selfish because the decisions are motivated by his own personal guilt. He gives his life to save 7 others’–but only after he first destroyed 7 in the first place.

It’s a wonderful, heart-wrenching story, really. But it made me think about how much more amazing the true gospel is. Jesus didn’t do anything wrong. There was absolutely no reason why He should even think twice about dying for us to have life. And yet, He did. Moreover, Jesus didn’t prove that we were essentially good people. In fact, we’re the very opposite of good. We’re depraved. We’re children of wrath. We can’t do and don’t do anything right or good on our own merits. Like it says in Isaiah 64, our good deeds are like filthy rags to God. But still, Jesus died for us. He died that we may have life. And while for Emily (Rosario Dawson) in Seven Pounds, the gift of life meant not being able to spend that life with her love, Tim, we in Christ not only have life but life with Christ. He is risen and alive. That was the purpose of His death and resurrection: so that we could be with Him in heaven forever.

Anyway, I would definitely recommend seeing that movie. After the movie, we dropped Travis off at the hotel so that he could rest in a cat-free environment and the rest of us went to the house and played Chickenfoot with dominoes–a very fun game might I add (especially with my family, who gets all riled up when someone thwarts their strategy). Then we picked Travis back up and drove to Mantorville to eat dinner at the historic Hubbell House. Very cool. I love seeing pictures and reading about people who lived hundreds of years ago. Ulysses S. Grant and Charles Mayo are 2 of the many famous people who have eaten there. But if you ever go there, though, don’t get a salad. They’re nothing to talk about.

Sunday morning, after a quick breakfast at Panera with the fam, Travis and I started the long journey back to Colorado. And so ended our Christmas Vacation. It went by so fast and it was felt very different not spending Christmas Eve with my family, doing our traditions of fondue, present opening, and the candlelight service at our church. But alas, getting older means letting go of things you used to do and people you used to see. Life moves on.

I would be sad that our vacation is over and that we’re back in Colorado without our families if it weren’t for our upcoming trip to Puerto Vallarta in March. My parents’ Christmas presents to all of us kids (and signficant others) was a weeklong stay at the all-inclusive Vallarta Palace. We just have to pay for our own airfare, which Travis and I did yesterday. We were able to find tickets for about $500 a person out of Denver, which is a lot better than flying out of Minneapolis–tickets out of there are more like $700 a piece! Yowsa! My parents, 3 brothers, and their wives/girlfriend are all going, as well as my uncle, aunt, and their 3 sons. A big, fun-loving group! I can hardly wait.

Our upcoming Mexico vacation and the overabundance (and overconsumption!) of Christmas cookies and sugary treats have led Travis and I to a sort of detox plan: we can’t eat sweets (chocolate, ice cream, donuts, candy, cake, bars, etc) or drink soda until we are sitting on the beach in Mexico, with a waiter asking us what kind of free alcoholic beverage we would like to sip while watching the dolphins swim through silver hoops. If you remember, I have been trying to limit my sweets intake for the past several months but to no avail. Finally, Travis has agreed to do it with me (and in fact, it was his idea!) so I think this time it will work. I can let myself down, but I can’t let Travis down. We’re also going to keep each other accountable for exercising at least 3 times a week (I’m shooting for 6 days a week but realize that may not always be possible). Travis also wants to learn about portion sizes so that he knows how much he is eating (I can tell you right now that he eats about 3 servings of cereal for breakfast and about 2.5 servings of pasta when we have it for dinner).

Here’s to a healthy 2009 and 2 Mexico-ready bodies by March 15th!!! Wish us luck!

Tags: , , , , , ,

To blog or not to blog?

18 Oct

I am going to warn you now that this post could be scattered and random, since I have quite a few thoughts in my head and they are not all completely related… Also, I am using my laptop to type this and for some reason, it thinks that I want to search for something on the web page every time I want to insert an apostrophe. So I will not be using many contractions, even thought it makes me sound kinda stuffy.

I started my blog back in January because I love to write. I double-majored in Journalism and Spanish in college so pretty much all I did in college was write. I learned that to really hone your writing skills and produce any work worth reading, you need to constantly practice. Writers need to force themselves to write, even if it is one of those days that putting words on paper seems like pulling teeth.

Well, with a full-time job to work, a house to clean and manage, church activities to attend, and House episodes to watch, I do not have much time to write. I am toying with the idea of working 4 10-hour days (my work changed the HR policy for hourly employees to allow them to do that). I could use that day off to write and volunteer at a pregnancy center. But with my old boss leaving and a lot of stuff going on right now at work, it does not seem like I am going to be approved for that work situation anytime soon.

All that to say, I started a blog so that I would have some outlet to write, with some chance that other people would see and read it besides me. I had also planned to post my memoir on my blog pages. That has not really happened yet…

When I first started my blog, no one but my husband knew about it (but he did not even read it–and still does not!!) I used to frequent the Nest message boards a lot (not anymore) and put a link to my blog in my board signature, as well as my email signature. So people found and read my blog that way. But I did not physically tell anyone that I had a blog.

I have recently discovered that I am not the only person who did not tell anyone about their blog. The reasons for not doing so are different for each person. For my blogger friend Leah, she did not tell anyone because she wanted to maintain face-to-face communication. For my real-life friend (and I just discovered, also blogger) Katie, she was afraid to tell anyone because of what they would think about what she REALLY thinks. For me, I just could not figure out a way to tell people I knew about my blog without feeling like I was saying “Check me out! I am sooooo awesome!”

I never had the intention that my blog would be the blow-by-blow of my life (some people have blogs like that, that is their prerogative). Instead, I wanted to muse on the random NESS of life and the different things I was learning about God. And I think (and hope!) that for the most part, my blog has not been a bunch of fluff and description about what I actually DO every day, but rather deep (or at least deepER) thoughts about life, love, and God.

So this morning, when I was thinking about where I have been lately with the whole eating/exercise thing, I thought about blogging about it. But then, I was scared about my friends back in Minnesota reading about it. Because for some reason, I have always felt the need to keep secret my struggle with body image, eating, exercise, etc. I do know that I have talked about it with a few girls (and I talk about it with Travis, who tries to understand as well as he can as a guy) but by and large, I keep it to myself.

There are quite a few people at my work, men and women both, who openly and frequently talk about their efforts to be healthier, lose weight, exercise, train for an event, etc. It seems strange to me that it is like that, since I am so the opposite. Maybe I feel that way because I have been told so many times before when I even mention something of trying to lose weight/tone/eat better “You do NOT need to lose weight!! You are already skinny!” Or maybe it is because I feel like I struggle to make it not an idol, rather than, like other people, struggle to make it even remotely a priority. Whatever the reason is, I never chime in on what I am currently doing to “maintain my physique” because I would just feel exposed.

As I had all those thoughts, I realized that my intention for blogging had slowly been morphing without my knowledge or consent. I read somewhere online, when researching a better blog name (which I finally came up with!), that you can’t write anything without thinking about a certain audience. (Side note: I just discovered that my apostrophe button has now decided it will work and give me an apostrophe! YAY!! ””””’ Look at all those!) I have been tempted to filter what I blog about according to my audience. That defeats the whole point of my blog!!

So, in the name of not filtering my blog, I will write about what I’m tempted to not write about: my struggle with eating/exercise/body image.

I will first of qualify this by saying that I know that I’m not fat. I would like to lose a few pounds but I’m sure the majority of women fall into that category with me.

My biggest struggle lately has been eating horribly. My parents were out here for a weekend and then Travis parents just left yesterday after being out here for a whole week. For some inexplicable reason, I eat like a horse around my family. Thanksgiving and Christmas last year were anomalies in my holiday eating habits (in that I didn’t eat like a pig). I know that a lot of people struggle with eating around the holidays–but me, I just struggle with eating around my family. (Doesn’t help either that the exercise is pretty much non-existent when I’m around them).

When I eat horribly, I get bloated and feel gross. So I wear baggy clothes, which makes it easy for me to continue to eat horribly. And when I already feel gross, I feel like “Well, why not eat another bowl of ice cream?”

I envy those people who are even-keeled, who eat the same way all the time, who respect their internal fullness mechanism and stop when they don’t need anymore. I tend to be more of an emotional and spastic eater. I will eat a huge dessert when I’m already stuffed to the gills because I want dessert. I will eat ice cream, chocolate, and sweets even when I’ve decided not to (anyone who has read my blog consistently knows that!) because I have this puny little willpower. I eat when I’m bored or especially when I’m tired. I love cereal so much that I’m tempted (but lately have refrained from) eating 2 big bowls for breakfast.

I don’t really struggle a whole ton with the exercise part. I really do enjoy exercising (except for when I’m in a funk…then doing anything but lie on the couch seems like an extraordinary amount of effort). I have been going to aerobics classes at the Wheat Ridge Rec Center. I love them. They are challenging (exertion-wise AND routine-wise) but fun, the time goes really fast, and I push myself more than I would if I were by myself. I just need to get my eating under control.

Back in Sept, I had written a post about imposing a no-sweet rule on myself for the rest of Sept. Well, if you couldn’t tell, that didn’t really happen. After a week-long gaffe, I got back on track…for a while. But the end of Sept and early Oct have been pretty pathetic. But last night, I decided that I was sick of feeling nasty. I know that it affects the way I feel about myself and it affects my marriage (when you don’t feel sexy, it’s hard to act like you do!!) And I know that God doesn’t want me to beat myself up all the time over the way I look–He doesn’t want me to disrespect or abuse my body either, through under-training and overeating, or even the reverse.

There have been periods of time when I felt very in control (in a good way!!) of myself–what and how much I ate, how much I exercised, etc. I felt great being in control–but it’s the time when I drive myself into the ground and get discouraged that seem to be the hardest to get out of. I don’t want diet and exercise to rule my life–I want it to be a natural part of it. I don’t want to throw caution to the wind but I don’t want to be a Nazi about it either. Only the Lord can help me find the happy medium–because I can’t do anything loving for a body that I hate. I need to believe that I am beautiful the way I am but that God has called me to something better–He has called me to ENJOY the body that I have been given. I know that I enjoy my body the most when I take the best care of it–by feeding it healthy foods and moving it through exercise.

I also have been researching ways to prevent breast cancer, osteoporosis and heart disease–very real threats to women. I want to live long and be able to move around a lot when I’m older. So that is also motivation for being healthy now.

I guess my motivations for staying healthy are morphing as I get older and grow in my Christian walk. I keep hoping for the day when I wake up and I no longer struggle with wanting to be thinner. It hasn’t come yet. So I guess I will have to just keep on moving forward in faith, asking the Lord to free me from this idol and struggle, and give me life in His ways.

There! I blogged about it. I don’t feel better–it’s still a nasty struggle–but i don’t feel worse either. Because I know other women have this struggle. And if you have any advice or tips, I’d love to hear them!

Tags: , , , , ,

Funk Free

3 Oct

The funk I was in a couple weeks ago is gone!!

I have been going to aerobics classes at our neighborhood Rec Center. The 2 classes that I’ve gone to so far have both been some version of step aerobics. The first one was 5:30-6:30 in the morning. It’s hard to get up for a class that early but I did–once. It was a good class–it was mostly 30 and 40-year-olds. I was by far the youngest one there. It was a little challenging (mostly to figure out what the instructor was doing!) and the ab workout was killer.

The other class I went to was from 5:30-6:25 PM and it was a younger crowd. There were probably 3-4 other women my age, others in their 30s and 40s, and 1-2 looked like they were even older than that. The instructor wasn’t a skinny minnie–she had a little extra weight on her. But man, did she have endurance. It was an entire hour of high-intensity aerobics. I kept up for the first 30 minutes but after that, I was seriously contemplating just getting up and leaving. But it was a good workout and I know that it will get easier the more I do it.

So I’m interested to see what the class is like tomorrow…hard or moderate? I’m sure it won’t be easy but I hope that I can at least keep up with these old folks! These aerobics classes are kind of like hiking–I think that I’m in pretty good shape until I go hiking or to one of these classes. Then I’m like “Man! I really need to work out more!”

On a completely different note, Travis and I went out to eat tonight and then to the Avs preseason game against the Chicago Blackhawks. I’m pretty sure the Avs lost (we left early). And now, I’m going to go watch Season 2 Disc 1 of House!!! We got through one whole season!! (But sad day, I missed the new House episode this past Tuesday. I’m hoping that NBC still posts past episodes on their website so that I can catch up before the next one).

Update 10.4.08: I went to the Cardio Kickbox class this morning and it was SO fun! It was challenging but I kept up with most of it (there was one point where I was so out of breath that I had to stop moving but other than that, I kept up). We got out the clappers and pounded them with jabs, hooks, uppercuts, and kicks. I had never done that before and it was really fun! I will definitely go back. 🙂

Tags: , , ,

I suck.

19 Sep

This is my 101st post! But that isn’t why I suck.

I suck because I made it one day (and that by cheating) without sweets. But it’s only partly my fault. You see, the day after my last post (where I had “committed” to not eating sweets until at least the end of Sept, with the exception of Sundays) I decided to bake peanut butter cookies for Travis and the guys in his Bible study. And my Bible study was the next night at our house so I figured I’d have treats for the ladies too.

I did really good while baking them–I didn’t eat any of the dough, even when it was sticking to my fingers from making the little balls. Instead of licking it off my fingers, I just washed it off, down the drain. Good, delicious dough, wasted. But I had made a commitment.

Then Travis came home and ate one of the cookies. After his first bite, he said, “Mmmmm…” which made me curious if they were good. So I asked for a small bite. He gave it to me, to my surprise (I was expecting him to say “But Bub, you weren’t having sweets until Sunday, remember?”) I felt a little cheater-ish but I didn’t have a whole cookie!

But then the next day at work, one of my co-workers had baked bars to thank me and Travis for helping them move some donated office furniture. I put them in my locker immediately with the plan of bringing them straight home for Trav. After lunch, though, I heard one of my co-workers, Mandy, say that she wanted something sweet to eat so I offered her one of the bars. (At least I can share my sweets, even if I can’t stop eating them!) I gave one to Carol Ann and Jen too and then…I ate one myself.

And I ate another one for lunch today.

And I had a cookie last night at our women’s group.

And like 4 slices of tomato basil bread from Panera today.

Whoops.

I suck.

Add to that, when I got home after work today, I read Newsweek for a while and then took a nap. I just did not have energy or motivation to do anything else. Yesterday, though, I did go grocery shopping after work and then on a run before making dinner. So I’m not a complete bum. Just a little one.

I hope that this funk I’m in ends soon. Or else I’ll run out of excuses.

Tags: , , ,

In a funk

16 Sep

For the past couple of weeks, I’ve been in a funk. I just feel icky–not like I’m getting sick but I am just exhausted and lethargic a lot. When we first moved into our house, I feel like I didn’t take any rest–I was just go, go, go because there were so many things I wanted/had to do. But now, man, I get home, lie down on the couch, and I’m out.

Like Sunday, after church we helped some friends move some paving stones to their house. When we got home, I ate some cheesy bread and then proceeded to take a 2-hour nap. It was one of those naps when you wake up from time to time, half of your brain telling you to get off the couch and do something productive, while the other half of your brain is dead to the world. The feeling of your body being one with the couch, like you couldn’t even move off the couch if you wanted to. That’s how the nap felt. Then, when you do get up an absurd number of hours later, you feel groggy and lazy for the rest of the day.

Today, I left work a little early because I’ve been working some overtime out of necessity (things are C-R-A-Z-Y at work right now) and trying to make it up, since I don’t get paid for it (oh, the luxuries of working for a non-profit). I came home and read the new Newsweek for about half an hour, at which point I started to nod off. I had been planning on reading a little and then going on a run before Travis got home. But obviously, my love for naps defeated my current apathy of running. I slept for a good hour and a half. While I absolutely love the feeling of a nap, I hate the ensuing feeling of being a bum and having nothing productive to show for a good chunk of my day.

That is one of many reasons why I feel like I’ve been in a funk. I know that I’m not getting enough sleep at night. I should really be in bed by 8:30, falling asleep at 9:00, so that I can wake up at 5:30 with a good 8.5 hours of sleep (the amount I really need). But I find myself getting in bed around 10:00, 10:30. Way too late!

Another reason is that I’ve been watching House like it’s my job. It was the season premiere tonight. I thought it would be on at 6:00 here because it was 8/7c. But I guess not…because it came on at 7:00 here too. Travis made a good point about 7:00 being prime time. We also have Season 1 Disc 3 right now…only 13 more to go until we’re all caught up!

Yet another reason is that I haven’t wanted to run lately. It has felt like pulling teeth. I feel like I should still want to run, like not running would be wrong. But I don’t entertain the thought of running in the morning at all and I have a hard time motivating myself to run after work. I have found, though, that the prospect of going to the gym and doing the elliptical or aerobics classes is appealing. So I am going to join the Wheat Ridge Rec Center. It’s cheaper than the Y and a decent gym. The Y is nicer but it is $24 more a month. Bush League!

So needless to say, my exercise schedule hasn’t been followed to a tee. I have been doing Pilates/Yoga about 3 times a week so I’m not a complete bum, but the cardio has definitely been lacking. After such long, stressful days at work, I’d rather curl up with a bowl of ice cream and watch some TV, rather than go pound the pavement–which is, needless to say, what I have been doing.

Which leads to yet another reason why I’m in a funk–my eating habits since we’ve moved to our new house have been horrible. I was doing really well for a while but I tend to get pretty lax when I feel good–it’s counter-intuitive I know but somehow when I feel good because I’ve been exercising and eating right, I then feel like I can eat 4 slices of pizza and a bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough and skip that day (or 3) of running and not gain weight–like I’m immune to the calories now or something. But the worst part about is that once I start eating poorly, it’s so hard to get back to eating right–so as you can guess, I haven’t. I haven’t gained much weight (maybe 1 or 2 pounds but I prefer to think that the scale is just wrong every morning for weeks in a row), which is a good thing. I just feel like a fat blob.

And the hardest part about it is that I know what makes me feel that way–eating ice cream everyday on top of little candy bars at work and light frapps from Starbucks. I have tried numerous times over the past several months to stop eating so many sweets. Most of the time, I don’t even make it a day before caving.

This is what I wrote about me and sweets a few months ago:

“There’s only so long that you can sit in front of chocolate, hearing it call your name and resist. Willpower has a time limit. I’m a ticking timebomb in front of sweets. As soon as the timer gets to zero (willpower), I explode and devour everything in sight.”

But tonight at the gym, I decided that I’m sick of feeling gross and flubbery. I am going to cut out sweets–except for Sundays. (I may be ambitious but I am still realistic!) No chocolate (ouch), no candy (oooo), no ice cream (uuuuhhhh). It’s gonna hurt but it will be worth it!!

So here’s to no sweets. I did it for Lent; I can do it again. And I am going to do this until at least Sept 30th–21 days from now because that is how long experts say it takes to form a habit. Hopefully I can kick my chocolate-tootsie roll-ice cream-gooey goodness addiction for at least that long. Wish me luck!

Tags: , , , ,

← Older Entries
Newer Entries →