Tag Archives: husband

The Writing of the Christmas Letter

8 Dec

When I was in high school, my parents wrote a Christmas letter every year.

But they never mailed it.

They always started arguing over what it should say and how they should jump the hurdle of the “I” and “We” pronouns when just my dad was writing it.

So the letter never left our house.

I love receiving Christmas cards so I was excited last year when I was finally married (finally an adult!) and could write a Christmas letter. We are doing the same thing this year. I am designing it at work (“on my break”) so that I can use Adobe InDesign. I heart that program.

Tonight, Travis and I were going to edit the letter that I had written. He didn’t like the way I had described our skiing adventures (couldn’t stand having me make mention of using my parents’ old ski equipment) so I changed it. But I added the detail that we had gone skiing 3 times in April (which is very strange to me coming from MN) and Travis promptly said “No, that’s too much detail.”

I immediately took offense because Travis is always making fun of the way I tell stories–I give names of all the people I mention as well as the lifelong history I have with them; I set the scene; I narrate. I tell stories in about 10 times the amount of time it takes Travis. (But do I get on him for leaving those details out?)

I know Travis pokes fun at me out of love (I like to think it’s one of my cute little quirks) but tonight, it just made me mad. I just about broke our keyboard. Travis left the room and only came back after much persuading by me.

We continued on, me still very angry, and Travis replying with those sarcastic comments that push my buttons in all the wrong places. I called him a mean name under my breath and that just took the wind out of his sails.

He went and watched TV. I felt bad so I went to apologize. I turned the TV off. He turned it back on. I turned it off. He turned it on. I turned it off and threatened to unplug it, which would make him have to reprogram it after we plugged it back in. He agreed to leave the TV off. 

I apologized for the namecalling. He told me that the Christmas letter was fine as it was (though a few days ago, he said that he wanted to reword the part about him). I asked him if he was sure. He said yes. I repeated the question a few more times and he answered the same.

“It’s fine. You did a good job.”

A comment that appears to be a compliment but is really just a cop-out so that he doesn’t have to deal with me anymore.

I retreated into the office and shut the door. I could hear that he had turned the TV back on. “Ouch. He didn’t even feel the need to apologize? He could just get on with his night like nothing happened? WHY are guys like that? WHY doesn’t my husband understand that I need to be loved right now? I know God is the only One who loves me perfectly…so I should just be content. But it hurts when he does that!”

After about 20 minutes, Travis came in to the office and apologized. He said that when I call him names, he feels completely defeated. I told him that I understood. After all, isn’t that what I’ve learned through reading all those marriage books–that men need respect above all?

I’ve often wondered how married couples make it through all of this “Ness” without the hope and forgiveness found in Christ. If I didn’t have the Holy Spirit and didn’t have the example of Christ to follow, I would…well, I don’t even want to know what I would do. It’s hard to be a sinful person married to another sinful person. But it’s worth it. And it’s possible. God’s grace is amazing.

So the Christmas letter will be edited, printed, and mailed after all. Hooray!

Tags: , , , ,

Christmas fun

7 Dec

Last night, Travis and I braved downtown Denver for the 9News Parade of Lights (the Colorado version of the Holidazzle parade). The traffic getting down there was crazy, parking was almost impossible to find, and there were people everywhere.

I remarked to Travis that it seemed like there were more people at this parade than the one back in Minnesota. He replied, “That’s because it’s 50 degrees outside instead of 15.”

Good point.

The parade had a few cool floats and several high school marching bands that were completely decked out in lights and tinsel. But in the middle of the parade, there was a 20 minute pause. Nobody moved. The marching band in front of us played the same 2 songs over and over while the tuba players spinned in circles.

Overall, the parade was fun but eh. Only Christmas spirit could make me want to go again (but isn’t that why these things are fun in the first place? I LOVE doing Christmas activities like that).

Today was Dare 2 Share’s Christmas party at Dave and Buster’s. It was a lot of fun. We watched clips of A Charlie Brown Christmas (which I have never seen…), listened to the leaders of each department talk about their staff members (something you can do with only 42 employees!), and ate dinner.

After the party was over, Travis and I stuck around to use the Power Card we got from the party as well as a few we had left over from my brother and sister-in-law’s rehearsal dinner. Travis is in love with the hunting games. He could literally play them non-stop. My favorite game is usually Skeeball but tonight, I found a new fave: trivia. I’m not very good at it (especially the sports questions) but it’s fun as all heck!

We also went in this wacky photo booth and found out what our future daughter will look like:

The composite of our faces for our future child

The composite of our faces for our future child

Matted hair aside, I think our “little girl” is very cute!

I also found out what I would look like as a Southern showgirl and a butch news anchor.

And these were the GOOD pictures!

And these were the GOOD pictures!

We had so much fun that I have to go to bed now.

But not before I say that I got my new Sketchers boots in the mail today and LOVE them. They’re a little tight around my ankles so I’m going to “test drive” them inside before wearing them anywhere but the cuteness factor is through the roof!! (I have been looking for boots for the past 2 years and have not been able to find ANY that I actually like…except for these! YAY!)

Tags: , ,

Happy Birthday to my sweetie!

2 Dec

It’s Travis’ 24th birthday today. I have a hard time believing that all this time, he was just 23. That seems so…young. He said this morning that he felt old…like he’s halfway between highschool and 30 (that’s what he would always tell me to make me feel bad about being older than him…by a year and a half).

I already gave him his birthday present (he wanted to open it on Sunday). I bought him a polo for work, a Avalanche t-shirt, and new headphones for his iPod. He was pumped.

To celebrate, we are going to have some people over tonight. We invited our whole care group, plus a few other friends from church. How many will actually show up, I have no idea. But hopefully people do or else, I know Travis would be sad. I even made his favorite cake–strawberry shortcake. And this year, I made real shortcake from scratch, not angel food cake from a box. 🙂 The strawberries are still frozen though and we’re using Cool Whip. Ah, well. Good enough.

I am very thankful for this day, the day my amazing husband was born. I love him and appreciate him so much. There are so many different things I love about him… he is thoughtful, sweet, handsome, funny, smart, handy, wise, athletic, loving, playful and more. But most of all, I am so blessed by the way he loves me. He will do things differently just because he knows I like them done that way. I can echo Faith Hill’s song… “It’s not right, it’s not fair, what you’re doing over there. Someday I’ll find a way to show you just how lucky I am to know you. Ooo, I love the way you love the way you love me. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. Ooo, to feel the way I feel with your arms around me. I only wish that you could see the way you love me.”

Reading a book the other day, the author said that the way you know a certain person is The One is that they make you want to be a better person. I pondered that for a moment, trying to think of the ways Travis makes we want to be a better person. I realized that the way Travis makes me want to be a better person is not through his hobbies and activities (sorry, no desire to go ice fishing or drink beer with the guys like he does) but through the way he loves me. The way he is understanding and forgiving when I really don’t deserve it. The way he chooses to do things for my benefit and happiness instead of his own. The way he takes care of me when I’m sick, hurt, or sad. The way he tells me that I’m beautiful and a good wife when I’m struggling to believe that’s true. The way he reflects the love and grace of Christ, who is the Ultimate Husband.

My husband isn’t perfect. But he is an amazing man, a wonderful husband, and my very bestest friend.

Tags: , , , ,

Holiday musings

26 Nov

I’m so glad that I have the next 2 days off from work. Not only do I still feel under the weather, there’s not much work to do (can you tell how my job is a rollercoaster–nothing to do one minute, overwhelming the next…don’t even get me started)?

Tonight, Travis and I are getting together with some friends from church for dinner and game night. It is the night we usually have our care group but with a lot of people out of town, we decided to just do an informal get-together. We are having stirfry with (I hope) couscous. Two things I have been craving lately: butternut squash and couscous. I know, it’s weird. And no, I’m not pregnant.

Tomorrow, I plan on sleeping in. Then I will have to cut vegetables for our Thanksgiving dinner tomorrow. We are going to my old boss Carol Ann’s sister-in-law’s house. 2 of my other co-workers (who are married) are coming as well. But we’re not the only ones…there will be 47 of us there. It’s good I grew up with a big, loud family I guess or that might be overwhelming! 

But I still always get a little nervous before meeting a lot of new people at one time. Luckily, I relax after about 10 minutes or so. And if they’re all as friendly and welcoming as Carol Ann, then we’ll have no problem fitting right in!

The day I’m really excited for is Friday though. Travis and I are going to get up early and go shopping for a new DVD player. We saw one at Big Lots for $35 and it’s a VCR/DVD combo, which would be great (we currently have to switch the wires back and forth from the DVD and VCR…yes, I still have VHS tapes. Thanks.) I wish we had everyone’s Christmas list now so that we could do our Christmas shopping when all the deals are going on. But we don’t.

After shopping, we’re going to decorate for Christmas. I already started a little (I love Christmas way too much to have it last for only a month!) but we still need to put up our tree and hang the lights outside. We’re going to decorate our lone tree in our backyard because we look out at the backyard a lot. It’s my family’s tradition that we listen to Manheim Steamroller while decorating for Christmas and opening presents. I told Travis that we must carry on the tradition. Maybe we should start our own tradition as well…something like hot chocolate with a little Peppermint Schnapps? 🙂

Saturday we’re going to The Nutcracker with our friends Paul and Carrie. Our other friend Amy is performing in the ballet, which is the main reason why we’re going. I’m really excited (I love doing Christmas-y things! And I love the ballet!) but Travis wishes we were going to see The Nutcracker on ice. Maybe next year…

Sunday we work in the Toddler classroom again (we did last Sunday too) and then the day is pretty much wide open. I will be baking a cake though because it is Travis’ 24th birthday on December 2nd.

I am very thankful for Thanksgiving and the break that it brings from the daily grind. I am thankful that we decided to say here instead of doing the weekend marathon, driving to MN and trying to see both families. Whew! I get tired just thinking about that. I am thankful most of all for my husband, who makes life just that much sweeter. I am so blessed by him.

Another great thing about Thanksgiving is that it means Christmas is almost here. Yay! It is seriously one of my favorite times of year (and now that I live in Colorado, it may just be my #1 favorite, since the previous #1 was fall and well…they don’t really have fall out here–at least, not MN fall). I love the excitement, the coziness, the family, the cheer, the generosity, the colors, the snow, the cold, the songs, the services. I love that Christmas is the celebration of Jesus’ birth because the atmosphere of the season is so fitting. It breaks my heart to know that not every one in the world can celebrate Christmas like we do–and I’m not talking about the presents. I’m talking about the family, the food, the togetherness, the warmth.

Travis and I donated 2 shoeboxes full of toys and school supplies to Operation Christmas Child this year again (though we were a little more prepared than we were last year, when we ran around buying our stuff before church the day it was due). Last year, we got to go volunteer at one of their processing centers in Denver. We missed the boat on that this year, which is a bummer, but hopefully next year, we’ll do it again. 

The Lord miraculously worked it out that Travis and I get to go back to Minnesota for 10 days over Christmas. We’re leaving on the 19th (driving) and coming back on the 29th. Because we want to go to Mexico with my family in March, we were planning on taking a shorter Christmas vacation (I have only 10 days of vacation a year…and I have to accumulate them). But I have 3 holidays (Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, and the day after). So yay for us!

After hearing tragic stories of people losing their jobs, being foreclosed on, and the other sad things that are happening, I am reminded of all the little things that I have to be thankful for: a roof over my head, food on the table, friends and family who care about me, a loving husband, a job that pays the bills (and is rewarding too!), and most of all, a Savior in heaven and a Father who loves me more than I can fathom.

Tags: , , , ,

Little joys

28 Oct

Ever since my restless post a week ago, I feel like I’ve been more aware than usual of little things that I enjoy, as if God is reminding me that life is supposed to be enjoyable and not just an endless journey toward an ever-heightening goal.

I enjoy crisp fall weather, soft cool breezes and lazy sunshine.

I enjoy writing (in my blog!) and talking to old friends (talked to one of my college roomies last night).

I enjoy taking care of my husband, buying groceries and washing clothes.

I like cooking new recipes and trying new things in the kitchen.

I like keeping a steady exercise schedule and eating right most of the time.

I like changing things up, like my hair, clothes, or even my blog (thought I can’t figure out which layout I want to switch to!!)

I enjoy my job and the responsibility and sense of importance that it gives me.

I love my husband, all his silly nonsense and the way he loves me like no one else ever has–or will (except Jesus!)

I love learning new things about God, having the eyes of my heart enlightened, beginning a prayer only to have a revelation and sit in silent awe.

I enjoy having holidays and family time to look forward to. (And having the chance to go to Mexico for a week in March!!)

I love cats (though I can’t have one) and dogs (though we’re not going to get one for a while).

I love the feeling of fall and Christmas. Heaven must feel something like a hybrid of those 2 things.

I love hope. Without the hope of a life after this one, none of this means anything. Because without the hope of salvation, this world fades away into nothingness, like it never existed.

I am thankful to God that “according to His great mercy, He has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead…” (1 Peter 1:3) It truly is what makes life worth living and what causes and enables me to strive for more…it doesn’t end here. I have an eternity in heaven.

Tags: , , ,

A morning thought

12 Sep

I was thinking this morning about my friend Charlotte. She’s going through a stage of life right now where there are a lot of unknowns and what she had been expecting to happen in her life isn’t happening (she was going to go abroad but then got married!)

It reminds me of a time in my life when things were very up in the air. And I absolutely hated it. I bucked against almost the entire time I was going through that stage–which just happened to be about two years. It was when I was dating Travis. I knew 4 months into our relationship that I wanted to marry him. I had never been more head-over-heels, butterflies-in-my-stomach in love with someone. He was everything I had ever wanted in a man–and there were even things about him that pleasantly surprised me. I remember thinking on more than one occasion that I didn’t know someone could be so wonderful and amazing.

But he was a little more conservative and cautious in his emotions. Looking back, I know it was very good for our relationship because he was very level-headed and has a strong character–he doesn’t get swayed by emotions or abandon his convictions because of a certain set of circumstances. So even when I pressured him numerous times to say that he wanted to marry me, he wouldn’t–because he wasn’t ready.

The reason why I had such a hard time with waiting and not knowing was: 1) unbelief in the goodness of God and 2) I had been hurt a lot in high school. I didn’t trust Travis. I had never dated a guy (including the boy I dated in highschool who I thought I wanted to marry) who made decisions while thinking about how they would affect me. All the boys I had dated were selfish and immature and would act impulsively at the drop of a hat, scarring my heart in the process.

So those 2 years of waiting in suspense, of not knowing whether Travis loved me enough to marry me or not, of wanting so desperately to be married, were honestly the hardest years of my life. Travis and I are very different people, who both came into our relationship with a lot of baggage from past relationships and hurts. We remarked numerous times during our dating relationship that if we didn’t believe in the sovereignty of God, if we didn’t believe that we were together for a reason and that our relationship was bigger than just the 2 of us, we would not have stayed together. But we clung to God and the hope of His plan for our lives–we went forward in faith, waiting. I did a LOT of waiting on God during that time. I cried out to Him daily, sometimes hourly, about my fear and my heart.

There was a quote that I repeated to myself over and over again during that time. It was written by Elisabeth Elliot as part of a bigger poem but the part that really resonated with me was “And so, not even for a light to show the step ahead, but for Thee, dear Lord, I wait.” Faith is walking forward in the darkness and trusting when nothing is certain or makes sense.

Here is the whole poem (this is what I emailed to Charlotte this morning):

I wait
Dear Lord, Thy ways
Are past finding out,
Thy love too high.
O hold me still
Beneath thy shadow.
It is enough that Thou
Lift up the light
Of Thy countenance.
I wait–
Because I am commanded
So to do. My mind
Is filled with wonderings.
My soul asks “Why?”
But then the quiet word,
“Wait thou only
Upon God.”
And so, not even for the light
To show a step ahead,
But for Thee, dear Lord,
I wait.

Tags: , , , , ,

Our first anniversary is today!

19 May

A year ago today, Travis and I got married. It’s hard to believe that it’s been a year but so much has happened during that time. We moved to Colorado where we didn’t know a soul, got new jobs in different fields than we had worked in before, started going to a new church, met new friends, bought a new car (well, new to us), and are now planning on buying a house.

We have also learned so much about the importance of communication–and the results of miscommunication. I learned to accept my husband as he is and not expect him to be what I consider ideal–especially since I don’t really know what this is. I have found a new appreciation for Travis and all that he does for me and our marriage and am realizing more and more everyday how much I take him for granted. He is truly my best friend. So often when we’re spending time together, I realize that I don’t ever concentrate on our interactions–they come so easily and naturally that it really feels like he is my other half.

So to celebrate this milestone, Travis surprised me by taking me to a secluded mountain cabin about 30 minutes from Woodland Park (very close to Pikes Peak). The cabin had a great view of Pikes Peak, a hot tub outside, and a big bed, comfy couches, great deck, full kitchen, and satellite TV. What more could you ask for?

When we first got to the cabin, I took some pictures and then read for a while on the deck in the sun–one of my very favorite things to do. After reading, Travis and I watched some TV and then made dinner. After that, we went in the hot tub and then opened presents. I bought Travis The Resurrection of the Son of God by N.T. Wright–a book he had showed me at Borders and said he wanted. It’s 800 pages long and very up Travis’ alley–an academic book that’s hard to read. Travis bought me a picture of me running the half marathon and put it in a blue metallic frame. I love it! I had wanted to buy a picture from that race… I think I look pissed in the picture though. Travis said that I just look determined. 🙂

Today, I “slept in” until 7:15 (I fell asleep at 9:30). I ate breakfast in bed and then made some for Travis. We watched TV for a while and then went in the hot tub again. After that, we packed up all our stuff and headed to Mueller State Park, where we did a few moderate hikes. My legs were sore from the race on Sunday so I didn’t have much energy to hike. The snow-covered mountain ranges around there are so beautiful.

Then we drove back to Boulder and are planning on watching “Secondhand Lions” and drinking champagne. So relaxing and nice.

See pictures from our weekend getaway here.

Tags: ,

Men, women, and dishes

8 May

This could go for just about any aspect of cleaning but this morning it happened to be involving dishes.

I typically get up about 30-45 minutes earlier than Travis. It takes me about 15-20 minutes to shower, do my hair and makeup, and get dressed (+10 minutes if I have nothing to wear). I then make lunches for me and Travis, eat breakfast, and possibly iron his shirt, make the bed, do the dishes, and maybe read the Bible.

Travis stumbles out of bed half-awake around 6:30. He takes a shower for 10 minutes, then shaves, then gets dressed. He eats breakfast and reads his Bible for about 10-15 minutes. Then he grabs his lunch, puts it in his backpack, brushes his teeth, and is ready to leave.

So this morning, as usual, I was running around after eating breakfast, trying to get my running stuff together, brushing my teeth, making the bed, etc. The sink was piled high full of dishes. I was going to ask Travis to do the dishes but he was reading his Bible. Dishes aren’t more important than God…(although, if he shouldn’t be bothered to do the dishes instead of reading the Bible, then why should I be?) so I let him be.

I was a little bitter that Travis was reading while the dishes obviously had to be done (you literally couldn’t fit much else in the sink). But I realize he’s male and I’m female. What I notice, he doesn’t notice. What I think about, he doesn’t think about.

Proof of this: When I saw the pile of dirty dishes in the sink after breakfast, I made a mental note, “Must do dishes before going to work.”

When Travis saw the pile of dirty dishes in the sink after breakfast, he wondered, “Where I can find a spot for my plate?”

I just have to laugh at him. Men.

Tags: ,

Loneliness and Isolation

5 May

So Travis and I had a couple of long, good talks yesterday about how sad, lonely, and isolated we’re feeling out here in Colorado. We haven’t talked to our friends from back home since we saw them in MN at the beginning of March. No, we haven’t called them but phones work 2 ways–and they haven’t called us either. Add to that, the last couple of times we’ve talked to them, it has been us calling them. I can’t remember the last time they called me to talk.

We didn’t spend any time with people from church or work this weekend since we were up in Fort Collins for the race. Travis was feeling bummed because there are times when it feels like we don’t hang out with anyone outside of work. He’s discouraged with his mens’ group because he really wants to get to know them and share his life with them but he’s limited by where we live (20 miles away from all of them) and by how it seems that they all know each other already and Travis is an outsider.

I really enjoy my womens’ group and we have some good discussions and the vulnerability is growing. But outside of that group, I feel like those women don’t have a very big interest in hanging out with me. Some of them are 10-15 years older than I am so it’s hard to get together for coffee or even to relate to each other.

But alas, all these are excuses and rationalizations for the hard, cold truth: it’s hard being out here. It’s hard to be in between friend circles–we don’t feel like we have close friends back home anymore (hard to be close when you no longer share anything in common) and we don’t feel like we have close friends out here.

There are times when I get jealous of the married couples who I know are still living in Minneapolis around all their friends, who can go over to their houses and enjoy deep, meaningful friendship. Compared to our life out in Colorado, I can’t imagine that their lives are anything but easy (even though I know that’s not true). Friends do so much for your spirits and joy. And it seems like life would be so much easier with friends.

There are times when I think about moving back to Minnesota. But I believe that God has led us out here for a purpose and that my going back would be my fleshly response to this trial and not my following the Lord in faith.

I have been kind of half-hoping for a struggle like this that will push me to the Lord and cause me to need to seek Him and His comfort daily. So I am taking this struggle and running to the Lord with it. Praying for deep friendships out here in Colorado. Praying that God would reveal how He is my ultimate friend and fulfills every longing I have–even this desire to be known and cared for. God knows me and cares for me. Travis and I must cling to that hope and reassurance in this time of loneliness.

But some good news: Travis and I have been so in love lately. The Lord has been so faithful and good to us in our marriage for the past 2-3 weeks. My enjoyment of Travis and desire to be close to him–both emotionally and physically–has skyrocketed. I love my husband. I love my Lord.

Tags: , , , ,

Newer Entries →