Tag Archives: joy

A heavenly country

20 Feb

Everyone has their own interpretation of heaven. Some people think that it’s an endless expanse of sky with white puffy clouds and nothing to do but play harps and eat Philadelphia cream cheese. Others think that heaven doesn’t exist at all. Once you leave earth, there’s nothing. Or maybe they think that heaven is part of earth, like the white sandy beaches of the Cayman Islands. Some people might think heaven is whatever you loved on earth all together in one place, like in the movie What Dreams May Come.

But for Christians, it’s none of those things. Instead, it’s a city where the streets are gold and there are no lamps and no sun; nevertheless, it is always day because the light of the Lamb reaches to all places. It’s the presence of God, intimate and forever. It’s no longer having sinful flesh but rather, gloriously resurrected bodies. It is perfection beyond any human expectation or imagination.

That’s what I have to look forward to. That’s what makes my life here on earth worth living and indeed, worth enduring. Even though my daily troubles seem puny compared to the human suffering I hear and read about–like just tonight, I read about female genital mutilation in countless third world countries–my life wouldn’t be worth living if I didn’t have such an end. I am always confounded by those who don’t believe that anything happens when we die. My roommate in college believed that. What do we have to live for if there is nothing after this life?

Moreover, if the glorious new earth described in the book of Revelations is not true, and if Jesus Christ did not die and rise again for the forgiveness of sins, we who are Christians have nothing to live for either. As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 15: “…if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins.” Christians–and I believe all people–need something to live for beyond this life. For “…If in this life only we have hoped in Christ, we are of all people to be pitied,” because this life is hard and messy.

I have felt that truth about life living out in Colorado. I love my job and the people we’ve met and I’m with my wonderful husband. So I have a lot to be thankful for. But I miss my friends more than anything. Humans were made for community. Not just Christians but humans in general. I believe that God designed us to need each other. So leaving behind my very best friends has been very hard.

I feel at times like Travis and I are going through life alone, just the two of us vs. the Great Big World. It may be because when we became Christians 4 years ago, the first Body of believers we plugged into was a group fully bought into the value of discipleship. We had the importance of one-on-ones and intentional relationships drummed into our heads day after day. And I loved it. I loved being in a discipleship group and meeting once a week with a group of my girlfriends. We talked about boys, bodily functions, random things, and the Bible. We related our insecurities, our longings, our struggles, our joys and successes. I felt so close to those girls, not only because we shared the bond of the Spirit but because they bared their hearts to me and I to them.

But out here, I have not found this. I have met some great women through our church that I am excited to get to know. But it seems that the potential of that deep relationship forming is small when we only get together once every other week and everyone has husbands, kids, and full-time jobs. It looked different as a college student in a campus ministry.

So I have been delighted by the reminder of my real home: heaven. C. S. Lewis writes in his book The Great Divorce, “I believe, to be sure, that any man who reaches Heaven will find that what he abandoned (even in plucking out his right eye) has not been lost: that the kernel of what he was really seeking even in his most depraved wishes will be there, beyond expectation, waiting for him in the ‘High Countries.'” The fellowship I so desire, the bridge over the gap in human intimacy and vulnerability, will be waiting for me in heaven. And more than that, it will be beyond expectation: all believers will be together in perfect union as we worship and adore the Lamb of God forever.

Humility and prayer

16 Feb

Yesterday I had a meeting with the “big wigs” (so to speak) at my company and a marketing consultant. We were discussing our branding/marketing strategy. My boss seemed a little anxious about the meeting–she just really wanted it to go well.

So I was a little anxious too. I read branding terminology as I ran on the treadmill. We went to the meeting a little early to discuss branding and marketing before the consultant showed up. And the meeting went really well. The consultant was very easygoing and since there were 6 of us there, there wasn’t really a spotlight at all. It was the longest meeting I’ve ever been in–it went from 9:30 am to 2:30 pm. I liked it because it made the day go by really fast.

But the thing that quieted my heart the most was knowing that it wasn’t my preparation or knowledge–or my boss’–that would make the meeting go well. It was God’s sovereignty. I knew I could trust Him with it all. When I was tempted to continue reading my branding glossary at breakfast instead of the Bible, I reminded myself of that truth and got in the Word instead of relying on myself and my own efforts.

As I sat there not knowing what to read and feeling anxious against my will about the meeting ahead of me (as well as the other work I had on my plate), a verse popped into my head about anxiety. 1 Peter 5:6-7– “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him because he cares for you.”

As I read that, I realized that my anxiety over the coming day was a form of pride. I was assuming that I knew how the day should go and that my worrying and thinking about it would aid in it going that way. This verse shows the correlation between humility and prayer. So often, I don’t bring my anxieties before the Lord. I do remind myself of truth but because I don’t cast my anxieties on the Lord, I still retain control over the situation. I don’t have to acknowledge my dependence on Him. I don’t have to humble myself before the Lord.

But I see in 1 Peter 5 that one of the ways I humble myself before God is bringing my cares and anxieties before Him, committing them into His hand, entrusting the outcomes to His gracious and sovereign will. And not just in theory or in thought but in action and in words. Prayer comes out of a humble heart. And a humble heart naturally moves to prayer. Because when we are willing to recognize and acknowledge our own insufficiencies and weaknesses next to God’s sufficiencies and strengths, we are not only humbled, we are also moved to prayer.

Sad day just got better!

28 Jan

Travis called about 1 hour ago and said that we did get approved for the car loan! YAY! Prayer definitely paid off. We are going to drive down to Colorado Springs tomorrow morning around 10:00 to go to the bank and do what we gotta do. I’m so happy that we’re going to have 2 cars at this time tomorrow!

The joys and trials of marriage

16 Jan

Last night, Travis and I were talking about the mystery of two becoming one in marriage. He remarked that, when we got married, we inherited each other’s lives. He inherited my family, hobbies, and credit history and I inherited his. While it is easy to see how our families and hobbies have changed us (I would never go hunting or fishing if I hadn’t fallen in love with a man who does!), the other things are less obvious.

When I was single, I could do anything I wanted because I didn’t really have anyone to answer to. My roommates would never comment on my eating 2 or 3 bowls of cereal in a row. No one cared if I didn’t do laundry for a month at a time or spent hours pampering myself with pedicures and face masks. I could read in bed all day or watch movies all night.

With marriage, that all changed. I see my husband every day: I wake up with him, go to work with him, eat almost every meal with him, hang out with him, and go to bed with him. Granted, our situation may be a little different than some (we just moved to a new state in Sept. ’07 where we knew no one). But marriage, by and large, involves spending quite a bit of time with that one other person. 

But then, isn’t that the point of marriage? It’s also the most wonderful part about marriage. You marry the person you’re absolutely head-over-heels for because you’ll see them almost every day for the next (God willing) 50 years of your life.  More than feeling completely consumed with love for your spouse (because as any married person knows, that feeling isn’t there 24/7), marriage is about friendship. It’s about two people sharing their lives so intimately and completely that they forget what life was like without the other person. They start knowing what the other person is feeling just by looking at their face. They know instinctively what their spouse’s reaction would be in a certain situation. When I can sense that Travis is joking, despite his best efforts to put on a serious face, I realize that, little by little, we are growing in oneness.

But there are those situations that serve as a jarring reminder that, no matter how one you can become with one another, you are still two very different people. Over time, the differences seem to multiply: differences in opinions, personalities, hobbies, priorities… You can know your spouse’s opinion without even asking and you can still not agree with it. That is where the phrase “Agree to disagree” becomes useful.

At the end of the day, though, I view all the components marriage as purely rewards. There is nothing I would change about my marriage or my husband. Nothing can beat walking through life with your best friend, who is there to listen, understand and support you. The good times show me how I have been blessed by the Lord’s grace. The hard times show me how I have been blessed by the Lord’s mercy (through Jesus Christ).