Tag Archives: work

Maintaining the Balance.

14 Jun

When I trained for my first triathlon back in 2009, I went all in. In addition to three workouts of each discipline a week, I was doing two days of full-body strength training. I still remember one night when I did a workout consisting of: 6 mile bike, 2 mile run, 6 mile bike, 2 mile run. While it got me into great shape and I was running faster than ever before, after that race was over, I realized that it was just too much.

I had started making frozen pizzas and macaroni and cheese for dinner, stopped cleaning my house and reading books, and felt exhausted constantly. So I cut my training back to two of each discipline a week and no weight training. It was amazing the difference it made in my energy levels, specifically dropping the weight training. I was slower in my second triathlon but I had recovered my life and my sanity.

So that’s where my philosophy of endurance training comes from. I am not willing to sacrifice my life just to be a little faster. I need time to relax. I want to eat homemade meals. I like a clean house. I want to spend time with my husband and pooches. I need time with God every day.

But I also realize that with a longer distance comes longer training times. If I want to race an Olympic distance, I have to train for one.

Like almost everything in life, there must be a balance.

After thinking about this quite a bit over the past couple of weeks and getting Travis’ blessing for me to spend more hours training (I want to make sure that my training isn’t going to be a sore spot in our marriage), I have decided to commit to training for the longer distance – with a caveat: I have to keep my priorities straight.

And those priorities (in order) are:

1. God (daily time in the Word, prayer)

2. Husband

3. Church / Fellowship

4. Job

5. Taking care of our dogs

6. Taking care of my home (cooking, cleaning, laundry)

7. Triathlon training

At times, I have felt guilty for spending so much time training. Should I spend this time helping others? Being less selfish? Should I give the money that I spend on race fees to homeless kids in Africa? That’s my never-good-enough fears kicking in. But I believe that God has given me my love and passion for endurance sports and that when people do things that they thoroughly enjoy, they showcase the glory of God because they are living according to how they were created. So I do believe that I can glorify God and train for triathlons.

But like I said earlier, there must be a balance. That balance can be summed up in two words: God first.

As I discovered earlier this year when I was unemployed, walking in fellowship with God makes all the other things in life fall into their proper places and gives everything the balance its supposed to have. Since I started back to work full-time, I have been letting training usurp my time with God. And I noticed things unraveling. I was dealing with the same problems I had been dealing with a year ago; struggling with materialism, jealousy, and anger; and feeling far from God.

No more!

I am committing to a daily 30 minutes (at least) with God and if I have to skip a workout to make that happen, so be it. Triathlons are transient; God is eternal.

Practically, I am planning my daily time with God to be in the morning, when I am most alert and in need of a reminder of eternity. I think I will still be able to fit in my whole workout (when I’m just doing one discipline) or part of my workout (when I’m doing more than one) in the morning as well. But I might be switching to night workouts anyway because Travis has agreed to do a triathlon! We haven’t decided on a race yet but it will be in August or September. I’m very excited to be able to share this passion of mine with him and to have a new training partner!

I am also going to start listening to sermons and worship music while I run and bike. I used to do this all the time but lately have been listening to Lady Gaga instead (total extremes, huh?).

I am planning on giving a training update every Monday (so that I don’t inundate this blog with training updates) and while I’m doing that, I’m also going to give a spiritual update. How is my relationship with God? Am I growing in being a servant to others and being a light in the workplace? Or am I sliding easily into worldliness, thinking only of new clothes, fitness goals, and vanity? Working in a secular environment is definitely a challenge – to both keep myself from being pulled into the worldly mentality of expensive things, big houses and nice cars as well as be bold in sharing the truth of the gospel. But I have found that its much easier to rise to that challenge when I’m reminding myself of truth daily by reading the Bible.

So that’s my training (and life) philosophy. We’ll see if I can handle the Olympic time commitment!

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Goodbye reading goal?

23 May

This weekend was extremely productive. For some reason, I have started waking up without an alarm clock. I still set it because I’m very wary of this alertness before the crack of dawn. So after going to bed at 10:30 on Friday night (because I was absolutely exhausted), I woke up at 7:15 on Saturday. After watching the morning news, getting in the Word, eating breakfast, and waking Travis up for our bike ride in Boulder, I gave both pooches a bath and dyed my hair. (I used the new Clairol Nice ‘n’ Easy Foam color – it was very easy to use and I really liked how my hair turned out… except that it’s almost the same color it was before I dyed it.)

Then came our bike ride in Boulder – 17 miles around the Boulder Reservoir. I’m very proud of my husband for surviving it, considering he hasn’t ridden a bike in a couple of years. And I was very pleased with our time: 16.73 miles in 1:04. I’ll ride faster during the race because I was purposefully riding slower than I would have for my husband, who was riding an old mountain bike. So not only was he not in biking shape, he was riding a heavy, knobby-tired hunk of metal. Isn’t he the sweetest for coming with me?

After our bike ride, we ate lunch at Harpo’s Sports Grill (we had a gift cert), then went home where Travis mowed the lawn and I went to pick up my prescription (and a few other non-essentials) at Walmart. Travis had suggested I buy him a gun safe as an anniversary present so we went to Gander Mountain for that, and then to the liquor store for tequila so we could make frozen margaritas with our new full-size blender (Travis’ present to me). Mmmm…. margaritas.

On Sunday, I got up at 6:30 to run 5 miles, then we went to church, REI, and then the nursery to buy plants for our vegetable garden. After planting and fencing off our vegetable garden (no pooches allowed!), I went to the grocery store, finished doing laundry, and went to bed at 9:45. Whew!

One unfortunate side effect of this busyness, however, is that my reading has plummeted to being almost non-existent. In the past month and a half, I haven’t finished a single book. I’ve read maybe a grand total of 30 pages. Sad day. Part of the reason for my hiatus has been that reading mentally stimulating books when I have a thousand things going on just isn’t possible. I can’t engage with the book. Instead, I end up either reading the same paragraph over and over or reading several pages only to realize I’m completely lost. The other part of the reason is that it just isn’t a priority right now — and it’s not going to be until life slows down a bit. What happened to the days and nights on end of having nothing to do? Oh wait, they all got channeled into my time at work.

It doesn’t look like it’s going to better any time soon either. This coming weekend, we’re camping and while I might be able to fit some reading time in while Travis is fishing, it will be minimal. The weekend after that is my first sprint triathlon, the Boulder Sunrise; the weekend after that is the Greeley Sprint Triathlon; the weekend after that, we’re going to visit friends down in Divide, CO; and the weekend after that, we might have a barbeque at our house. There is some downtime in there and I am for sure going to need some rest after doing back-to-back triathlons – but it’ll probably come mostly in the form of naps. I am really looking forward to a weekend with nothing we *have* to do (if it ever comes…) so that I can sit down with a book and relax.

I do feel God’s blessing in the midst of this busy season, though. Having learned that I am only called to be faithful in doing what God has assigned to me for the day and leaving the rest to Him has given me unexpected energy when I feel like I should be dead tired, overwhelmed, and mopey. Instead, I have excitement, enjoyment, and hope. In fact, I actually enjoyed digging in the dirt yesterday to plant our garden. I am very excited to see the plants grow and produce fruit (I’ll post pics and more info later). It makes me feel like I’m really taking advantage of God’s bounty and joy in creation. Plus, I love fruits and vegetables!

All that say, whereas I had been contemplating the goal of reading 50 books in a year (the past several years, I’ve only averaged 25 or so), that goal may have to be sacrificed for some peace and sanity. Goals are just a means of achieving what you really desire and value. They are not ultimate. God, and the joy found in Christ, are.

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My Sure and Steadfast Anchor.

12 May

I have been MIA from the blogging world because life has exploded. I started my new job, our dogs are misbehaving left and right, people are having babies, getting married, and graduating from high school, and I’m training for a triathlon, cooking dinner, doing laundry, cleaning, gardening, etc. I’m taking it one day at a time.

My spiritual life has been suffering the most. I’ve been trying to work out a flow to my mornings so that I can both train and get in the Word. I’m starting to think that getting in the Word at lunch might be more realistic but I would prefer the morning. So I’m still experimenting (getting up at 5 am is hard after being unemployed!). Combine my inconsistency with the Word with having a new job and daily schedule and I feel like I’m living in a twilight zone.

This happened to me when I started my job for the triathlon company last year and it wore off after a few weeks, so I’m not too worried. But I miss God! I just feel spiritually distant, as if God isn’t relevant or intimate in this new realm I’m living in.

Today during lunch, I sat down at my computer with my small, waterlogged Bible that Travis took to Ghana and this is what came out:

In the midst of chaos

I know God is still there

But I’m lost in transience

Unhinged from reality

Trying to run to Truth

With my heart as the hurdle

 

What happened to my grip on eternity,

My basking in forever,

My praise of the Glorious One

This earth doesn’t know?

 

My only comfort is You

A Rock of strength in a heart of quicksand

You uphold me when I’m lost at sea

All my driftings are charted

On Your map

And You’ll lead me home again

Someday

For You have prepared me

For this very thing

Guaranteed.

 

I didn’t take the time to edit it much so it’s pretty raw and I haven’t written a poem in years — poetry is the way I express my heart when there aren’t sufficient words for how I feel. So that’s where I am right now. I am so thankful that, like Matt Redman writes in his song How Great is Your Faithfulness,:

Everything changes, but You stay the same
Your word and kingdom endure
We lean on the promise of all that You are
And trust forevermore
We will trust forevermore
 
Hopefully one of these days I’ll have time for a longer post!

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Food and work

3 May

On Sunday, I finally went grocery shopping. I am very happy to finally have good food again. I don’t think I will ever do that experiment again – especially with no fruit or vegetables. I just don’t think it’s worth it.

In other news, I had my first day at my new job yesterday. It went well. From what I can tell, I think it will be a good job but it’s always hard to know after just one day. I can say, though, that it’s really weird to see so many people working for the same company and not know each other. Even at my first job out of college when I worked for a corporation, our office was small enough that you pretty much knew who everyone was, even if you had never spoken to them. So a huge office (2,500 people) is weird for me.

A definite perk of working for such a big company, though, is that I get an officle – an office/cubicle. My officle has a sliding door and walls that go all the way up to the ceiling. There are windows at the top so light still gets in. I also have a flat-screen monitor and there is a cafeteria on campus. Pretty swank. The world of telecommunications is very confusing to me, though, so I have a lot to learn. But everyone I will be working with seems very nice and friendly and there are several other women my age so I’m excited to get to know them.

I do see already my tendency to want to be cool, fit in, and not known as a Jesus freak. I’m worried about the right balance between being social and being a good employee (since I’m a contractor and not a permanent employee, I think this is more pronounced.)  I don’t want to hide out in my officle but I also don’t want to be perceived as a slacker.

But honestly, right now I’m too tired, frustrated and overwhelmed to care much about that. My dog Charlie is driving me up the wall. Last night, she started whining and howling at 2:30, then 4:00, then again at 5:30. I seriously want to kick her in the head. I have had enough willpower to restrain myself this morning from doing that but I can’t be near her at all. I’m pretty sure the reason why she’s acting that way is because she hasn’t been able to go on walks, run around or play with Katy since getting spayed. She’s probably going slightly crazy. So hopefully it will get better after we get the All Clear next Wednesday from the vet. Otherwise, I will be the one going crazy!

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My last week of freedom.

26 Apr

For some reason, when I accepted my new job, I thought I had 2 1/2 weeks until I started. It was actually only 1 1/2. So this is my last week of freedom. I’m definitely excited to start my new job – but also a little nervous just because it will be a new experience and challenge. And I have to admit that I’m sad my days of freedom are coming to an end.

To make the most of my last week being unemployed, I am getting together with a friend every single day. Yesterday, I went hiking in Golden Gate Canyon State Park with my friend Lauren (the wife of one of Travis’ work friends). Today, I am having coffee and potentially going on a walk (if the weather holds up) with a new friend from church named Holly. Tomorrow, I am going on a bike ride with another friend from church named Steph. Thursday, I am having my last Thursday morning coffee with Cathy (it’s the end of an era – we’ve been having coffee weekly since December!) Friday, I am going hiking at Red Rocks State Park with another friend from church, Renia, and her son and friend. So it will be a busy but fun-packed week!

A little update on the food situation: I had to cheat and go buy a few ingredients to make a dish for Easter dinner. BUT I picked a recipe for a wild rice casserole that I had the majority of ingredients for so I only had to buy chicken broth ($.99) and apricots ($1.50). I also made stuffing (which had been in my cupboard since Thanksgiving 2008) and had to buy celery ($.25) and an onion ($.75). (And yes, it turned out to be delicious!) With the sugar I bought for Travis’ morning coffee and my toothpaste with a $1 off coupon, I only spent $8 at the grocery store. I felt pretty good about my thriftiness.

Tomorrow night is care group and we eat dinner together beforehand potluck-style so I will have to buy a few more things for that (cheese and black beans). But overall, I’m making it work with the food we have. We had chicken alfredo with mushrooms last night. Last week, I made crusted chicken with tomato dill couscous. I also made udon noodles with carrots, raisins, red pepper and a peanut  butter soy sauce (delicious!) – it’s a Betty Crocker recipe. So we haven’t been eating crap. But we also haven’t been eating as much fresh produce as we normally would (as in, we aren’t eating any right now). I have frozen vegetables left and even those, I am using sparingly so that we can at least eat some vegetables one meal a day for the rest of the week.

My only fear at this point is that when we do get more grocery money, we’re going to be so low on everything (including condiments, spices, and staples) that the grocery bill will be abnormally high and we’ll start this vicious cycle all over again. But since I will have a job then and have a steady income, I might try to convince Travis to let me have a little more grocery money. I think I could make it work if I didn’t need to have a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables all the time. But the truth is, I do. If I don’t get enough sleep and don’t eat enough fruits and vegetables, I get sick almost immediately. Case in point: I got sick on Easter. I don’t believe it was a coincidence.

But I am not deterred! I am determined to make this work, at least for the rest of this month. 😉 And I definitely have new-found respect for those people who have even less money than this for groceries. It’s harder than I thought to eat healthy on a budget.

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When it rains, it pours.

20 Apr

The past week and a half have been ridiculously busy. Mostly because we got a new dog who isn’t completely potty-trained but also partly because I have had dinner dates, church functions, and job interviews to attend.

Without going into all of the boring details, I will just say that there have been several days with things that have gone wrong, taken forever, been frustrating, or days that just seem so jam-packed with stuff to do that I don’t see how it will all get done. When I am not being anxious or angry, I am actually sort of excited about all the stuff going on, the trials, the challenges, and the anxiety because it has allowed me to put my theories about the Christian life and walking with God to the test. Kind of like, how do they withstand trials and struggles?

Well, I’m happy to say that the truths are true. They’re just impossible for me to practically follow. It’s amazing how in the times when everything is going fairly smoothly and I’m happy and peaceful, trusting in God seems easy and I feel like I am actually doing it. But when the road gets rough and things start to fall apart, that’s when I stop trusting God. The times when I need God most are the times that I turn from Him. Does that make ANY sense at all?

This is what I wrote in my journal this past Sunday morning: “I’ve been saying lately that the Christian life is simple and yet impossible. Trusting God for everything–validation, security, comfort, provision, identity, etc.–is where we find joy and peace, yet it is the hardest thing for humans to do!

“Upon first thought, it seemed like God had designed us to be completely incapable of being good and relying upon Him, even though the result was more sin on our part. Is God more concerned with our reliance upon Him than our sanctification? Verses like 1 Thess. 4:3 seemed to contradict that.

“Then I thought of Jesus, who was holy and perfectly dependent on the Father. So reliance on God is God’s way of sanctifying us. It is only as we rely on God that we become holy. Relying on God and being sanctified are one in the same thing.

“All of our sins are failures to rely on God–to find everything we desire and long for in Him.”

The Christian life is really so simple. We walk through every day in communion with God as we trust His sovereignty and wisdom, His goodness to us in all circumstances, and accept everything from His hand. But that is definitely easier said than done!

Last Thursday morning, I was at my breaking point. Charlie had peed inside the house AGAIN, I was frustrated and impatient with her constant need for attention and decision to get up at 6 am every morning, I had another interview that afternoon (which I was dreaded since the one I had had on Tuesday went horribly), and I had another full day ahead of me. I felt pulled in a hundred different directions, with no time for me or rest or reading or fun. I was ready to blow a gasket and was wondering, “Didn’t God say that He provided grace in the time of need? Well, I need grace. I’m asking for grace. But I don’t feel Him providing it because I am just barely making it through today.”

During my coffee time with my friend Cathy, I asked her what God’s practical provision of grace looks like. I explained to her my situation and on the verge of tears, told her that I didn’t feel God’s grace because I just wanted to crawl back into bed every morning. She told me that just the fact that I haven’t thrown in the towel, haven’t crawled back into bed and abandoned my responsibility is God’s strength to me. Just like in exercise, we have to burden our bodies with almost more than we think we can handle in order to grow stronger. You don’t grow stronger by lifting manageable weights.

As soon as she said that, the tears started falling. I felt God saying to me, “I am growing you through this.” I felt burdened beyond my strength but I hadn’t given up. The next day, I read this in Elisabeth Elliot’s Keep a Quiet Heart from Lamentations 3, “It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not.” I am humbled once again by how quick I am to accuse God of abandoning me when He has been carrying me through the trials of my life.

As much as I have struggled with being busy, I do see the Lord’s mercies to me in this season. I just found out yesterday that I got a job as a Marketing Communications Copy Editor! (Praise the Lord for His provision!) So those early mornings with Charlie? Preparation for going back to work. Having a lot to accomplish in one day? Preparation for having a full-time job again. God is slowly easing me back into the working world, one trial at a time.

I am so utterly grateful to God that even though I continue to doubt Him and question His ways, He continues to give me grace, insight, and understanding sufficient to continue on in faith. My impatience and anger with my dogs this past week have stood in stark contrast to God’s infinite faithfulness, patience, long-suffering, and love toward me. I am so humbled.

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Sunshine and spring.

1 Apr

I love spring. Especially spring in Denver, where you don’t have to deal with mud and puddles as the snow is melting. (Although you do have to deal with wind, which is just as annoying.)

The view out the office window

I can’t help but be in a good mood when I wake up, go into the office with my cup of coffee, and see the shadows of the evergreen boughs dancing on the west wall in the early morning sunlight. That is a delightful sight.

I just love sunshine and light. When Travis and I watch TV at night, he always wants all of the lights off, with just the TV illuminating the room. I prefer to have all of the lights on. Light makes me feel cozy; darkness makes me lonely and cold.

Though I love our cute little house, I wish our office had a bigger, south-facing window. Right now, it has one small one that faces east. The sun only shines into the room until about 9:45 at this time of year. I absolutely love the office that the character Erica (Diane Keaton) has in Something’s Gotta Give:

Look at those windows! And the flowers on her desk. And the hydrangeas out the window with a view of the beach. Sigh. It would be so wonderful to work in that office everyday.

If I do end up making a career out of being a writer, I am going to move our office into our guest bedroom, which has two windows, one east-facing and one south-facing. It is sunny in there almost all day long. It’s a wonderful room. The only problem right now is that the windows are very old and leak cold air into the room, so it’s always freezing in there. But Travis is planning on replacing those this spring or summer… so maybe around that time?

On a happier note, the tulips I planted last fall are coming up!

I planted white, yellow and red tulips. Can't wait until they bloom!

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Things are in the works!

17 Feb

I worked on writing my book for 4-5 hours on Tuesday. Still have a long way to go on that and am a little bit stumped as to how to arrange it but it’s progress!

Yesterday, I spent the better part of my day looking for jobs and writing a query letter to be submitted to an online Christian magazine for women called Kyria. They don’t pay much for freelance work but it is money and it’s me getting work published (if they’re interested in my idea). The only drawback is that they said it could take them up to 8 weeks to respond. That’s a long time to wait.

In addition, yesterday morning I got a phone call requesting that I come in to interview for an editing position! It’s just for an editor internship, but it’s a well-paid, full-time position with what seems to be a great company, so I couldn’t be happier. I’m not chomping at the bit for another full-time job quite yet but if one comes along that involves writing or editing of any kind, I am definitely going to take it!

I also put out some feelers to my supervisors from Dare 2 Share to see if they know of any job openings or people I could contact. They both responded and I think it will be at least worth a shot!

I just feel so blessed by the Lord right now. After almost a full year of feeling so out of place in my job and wandering aimlessly through fields of confusion about myself and life, it is so pleasant to have a vision and a goal. It’s even more pleasant to see that vision becoming a reality!

Seriously, if I ever am a published author, I think I might faint from delight.

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Construing days of rest

13 Feb

I like the idea of a Sabbath. Taking time to relax, recharge, read and spend time with family is always a good idea. I’ve tried in the past to observe a Sabbath – I once had the idea of a Silent Sunday, during which I didn’t listen to the radio, watch TV, or do anything on the computer. In essence, unplugging. It was a great idea, one I would still be inclined to do if it weren’t for having a little something called a husband. He was not jumping on the bandwagon of my idea so the notion fell by the wayside.

Other times, I have been just plain lazy on Sundays – taking a nap, reading, watching TV, pretending to think about exercising but never really planning on doing so.

But I wouldn’t say I’ve ever been really that intentional about setting aside a day for rest.

Maybe it’s because by my very nature, I already take plenty of time to relax. I need to relax or I’ll implode. Taking one more day for rest would seem like overkill. I guess now, with my current state of unemployment, I’ve practically got a season of Sabbath on my hands.

It’s kind of like date nights for me and Travis. I definitely see the value of them for couples who have kids but for me and Travis, who see each other every day and night, and spend a lot of evenings just the 2 of us, they seem somewhat superfluous. Why plan a specific night to hang out when we spend every night together?

I am not a person who can handle go-go-go. I can be busy for a couple of days in a row before I need a breather. Ideally, there would be a constant balance: busyness in the morning, then rest in the afternoon, and a casual evening. Here’s a sample Saturday: getting in the Word when I get up, going on a 3-mile run, attending a baby shower in the morning, stopping by the bank and grocery store on my way home, lying on the couch with a good book, taking a 30-45 minute nap, making a delicious dinner with Travis, having a glass of wine, and watching a movie from Redbox. I do also enjoy relaxing in the morning, then being busy at night but I much prefer to enjoying my relaxation time after getting productivity out of the way.

Today, as I was painting our new front door, I was thinking about the whole idea of a Sabbath. The Bible talks about there being 6 days for work and 1 day for rest. Yesterday, Travis and I bummed around on the couch all day, watching movies, doing crosswords, eating cookies. Then today, we decided to paint our front door and finish a windowsill. Isn’t that kind of backwards? Shouldn’t we have done the whole door/window thing yesterday and then used today to be bumcakes, as we say?

But I feel like doing more work on a Saturday, after a long week of work (or non-work in my case, which is surprisingly exhausting), is asking a lot. Usually by that time, all I have the energy for is reading a magazine or doing the previous Monday’s crossword (the day they’re the easiest). But Travis, on the other hand, is often freakishly productive on Saturdays. Especially the days he goes duck hunting or flyfishing. He gets up at the awful hour of 3 am, hunts or fishes for 8 or 9 hours, gets home around noon, and then instead of taking a nap like I expect him to, he gets to work cleaning up the garage, putting in windows, vacuuming out cars, and changing the oil. No matter what I’m doing those days, I always feel like a slacker compared to him.

I think I just have a lower level of energy than most people. Sometimes even just thinking about what Travis accomplishes in a day exhausts me and I’m ready for a nap. All I know is that I’m too tired by Friday night to wait for a Sabbath on Sunday. I need time to rest on Saturday.

What about you? Do you use Sunday as a Sabbath, some other day, or do you do something else altogether?

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Am I serious about this?

12 Feb

This past week brought about some changes in my employment status. First, the church no longer has funds to pay me so my part-time job there is no more. I was making about $240 a month more working there than just collecting unemployment so it’s somewhat unfortunate.

What really is unfortunate, though, is that I found out that since I quit my job at Dare 2 Share for “no good reason under the law” and since I worked there within the past 5 quarters (3-month periods used to calculate unemployment benefits), I am now only qualified for about half of the unemployment benefits I had calculated. It appears that I will still get the same amount every week (which is a definite blessing!) but that instead of getting unemployment for 6 months, I will now only get it for 3. Considering the fact that the average unemployment stint these days is 9 months, I’m sure hoping that God has another plan in mind!

That means that I kind of have to get my butt in gear and actually start taking the job search seriously, as well as tackle my book project with more gusto and intentionality than had previously been applied. It is reassuring to remind myself, however, that even though this realization has changed my perception of the situation, the actual situation has not changed at all – God knew this all along and nothing has changed in His purpose or plan for me.

Nonetheless, it is a reality that my perception of the situation has changed. I no longer have “all the time in the world.” I have 3 months. Three months to find a job or to start making money from my writing. The question then becomes: am I serious about this whole writing thing? Am I willing to commit my financial future to it, over pursuing a reliable job?

I have been praying that God would direct me to either put the majority of my efforts into finding a job or into writing my book. I have not received any clear direction either way, so I am going to continue on with the leading that I have been operating out of until this point – writing my book. I’ve asked God to give me a clear sign that writing is not what I’m supposed to pursue. But until I get such a sign, I still feel like I am called to be serious about being a writer – or rather, a published author.

Plus, submitting queries for freelance work qualifies as  a job contact, right?

 

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